October 2012 Weddings

Age and Goals...

Saw this thread on another board I frequent and thought it would be another getting to know each other task

So, how old are you? Where did you think you'd be by now? Have you hit those goals?

So me..

I'm 25. I feel pretty good about where I am in life. I always said I'd like to get married by my mid twenties, we own a house, two cars and two furbabies. Financially I'm stable. I'm under more student loans then I care to think about and I had thought I'd have them more paid off by now. I always thought I'd be a mom by 26/27 and while I still want that there are days that both of our current careers seem to make that unlikely.

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October 13, 2012

Re: Age and Goals...

  • mpjf1001mpjf1001 member
    Ninth Anniversary 500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited March 2012
    I'm 29, growing up I thought I'd always be married by now with atleast one kid, but the ways things are going I'm good with=)

    My goals were to go to college, get my Masters and have a career then get married and have kids. So far that is all working out, except the fact that my career is on hiatus due to being cut last school year and I cant find a job. But I guess you cant always plan for life to happen a certain way and Im starting to realize and accept that.
    FI has a good job, we have a house and our finances are good except for student loan debt.
  • I'm 27 and to be perfectly honest, when I was 10 years younger I thought I'd be a lot further ahead by now (ie already married, possibly with a child and have my dream job). Haha.. I was SO naive.

    That being said, I am happy with where I am in my life. I'm just about to get married and we're still not sure that we want kids (have agreed to shelve the issue until we're about 30-ish which is when I'd want to have a kid if we do decide to have them). We're pretty financially stable, I wish we had a little less student debt, but have a plan in place and to pay it off and have a pretty big downpayment saved for when we sell the condo and buy a house (about 3 years from now).

    As for the job situation, I like what I'm doing now but don't LOVE it. Once all our debt is paid off then plan a-1 can kick in which is for me to persue it.
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  • Oh what fun!

    I am 26 (today), I thought that I would be married, either have a child or be pregnant, living in a house in the country, and either finished or finishing my PhD, but deffinitly with a career in my field.

    Where I actually am: engaged, with a house in the city, no kids (but a beautiful nephew) I have not finished my phD, and am not working in my field. However, I am fairly certain that I will be going back to school next year, and have a job that most days I love.
  • Good questions!

    I'm 26. I'm pretty happy with where I am. I have more bills than I'd like (student loan, car payment, and hospitaal bills), but FI and I get by. We make our payments and have enough for savings and groceries and gas.

    My goals have changed every few years. When I was young, I wanted to have babies byb 26 or so. Then when I hit my 20s I wanted a job by mid twenties and babies by 30. So I'm right on track. FI and I still want to work on babies by the time I hit 30. I have a house, a dog, a husband (almost), and a job I truly enjoy.
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  • edited March 2012
    I feel like at this point in my life I am pretty much exactly where I thought I would be, I think I am probably one of the youngest one's on the board... not a hundred percent sure, anybody out there hiding? To be honest tho, I guess maybe I am a little ahead of my plans because in no way did I ever think I would be getting married at 21, and as much as I know that it's probably looked down upon by some people (I haven't gotten any disagreeable remarks from any of you girls, yet, lol. But it's been said), when you know you know. So now we're really starting to make plans for our future and I'll have to figure out in a few years if I really end up where I am wanting to be.

    I guess the only thing I can think of that I just don't know about is what I want to do with my degree, I'm supposed to know what field of nursing I want to work in and I just do not have a clue. Ideas, but there is nothing that I really feel like I should be doing and I feel like I am missing out on that.

    I guess I should add that I will graduate with my RN next April, so I have plenty of time to decide. Sort of, lol.
  • When I was younger I thought by the time I was 30 I would be married with at least 2 kids and living in my dream house, and working in my field :-)

    I am 32 years old now.  I did not even meet my fiance until I was 30.  Right now we are staying with my FIL's to save for the wedding and then a house shortly after.  We plan on waiting a few months after the wedding to start trying for kids.  While I was living my life and waiting to meet my FI I finished my doctorate and have been working in my field (at the same office) for the last 7 1/2 years.  I also was able to turn one of my hobbies (cake decorating) into a side career = extra $ for wedding :-)
     
    Overall wouldn't change a thing about the direction my life has taken.  It may not have been what I thought was going to happen but I am exactly where I am meant to be!

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  • I am 33 and not where I thought that I would be.  Growing up I wanted to be married by 26 and have a house, at least one kid and good job by 30.  Well I was married at 28, had a house and a good job at 30, divorced at 31 and no kids thankfully. 

    All in all, I am in a much better and happier place right now.  FI and I have new goals in life that we can't wait to accomplish together.
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  • I'm 23, and in some ways I feel like I'm in a lot different place than I thought I'd be at this age.  I don't feel 23 at all.  Or rather I should say I don't feel like I'm the way most people imagine 23-year-olds to be.  

    FI and I are financially stable, should have all our student debt paid off by next year, and are in careers we both love, although not the careers we thought we'd be in when we were in high school/college.  I figured I'd be in law school right now and FI thought he would be working on his PhD.  In fact, I went to pastry school instead of law school after college and now I'm in the food industry (chocolate, woohoo!) and FI works in finance.  

    Short term goals include moving into a bigger apartment (we live in a tiny shoebox in NYC), and starting to save for a house.  We've both said we'd like to wait a while to have kids, though.  We originally figured we'd want to have kids around 27 or 28, but I just don't know if we'll be in a place to bring kids into our life at that point (financially and spatially...oh NYC rent...).  All in all I'm pretty happy with how things are right now.
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  • Growing up, my main goal was to buy my own house...just mine...and be financially stable before i'd let myself get married and co-exist with another person. I was able to pay off my student loans and buy my own house (no financial help from anyone) 1 month after I turned 24. I hate to say this but the poor economy helped me. 

    Now I'm 26, will be 27 when I get married. I wanted to have at least 1 kid before I turned 30....i think i'm right on track with my goals. My FI wants kids soon too! :)

    I thought i'd be taking my Masters by now but as I got into my career (Nursing) I realized how many avenues there are that I could go into and I'm still deciding what's right for me...so I don't mind taking my time on this...even if it's after I have kids.
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  • I just turned 28 and I am kinda in the position I thought I would be when I was younger.  I wanted to have a house, a husband and at least two kids.  I have the house, almost have the husband, and luckily I got the kids the easy way - two beautiful step daughters.  However, I did not think I would end up here the way that I did.

    I got married when I was 18 and I figured I would have all of that with my first husband.  We were married for 6 years and it ended pretty badly.  I thought I wouldn't remarry for a long time and kind of threw all of my "having a family" goals out the window.  Then, I meet FI and my world turned upside down (in a great way).

    As for my career, I am very happy where I am.  When I was younger, I really wanted to go to and graduate from college and practice psychology or pschychiatry.  I started helping my dad part time for some extra money and since then, we have turned a small struggling company into a successful family business that makes us all pretty comfortable.  FI loves his career too and started working for a pretty big corporation as an environmental chemist.  We are lucky to be financially stable, and once we get the wedding out of the way, we will be able to put aside a food amount of savings every month and start some major renovations on our home.

    I love where I am in life right now and I am very thankful for all the blessings that we have received.
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  • ivedonethisb4ivedonethisb4 member
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    edited March 2012
    Gee this is when I feel like a failure because I'm nowhere near anything I dreamed of. I'm 25. Haven't finished college, can't afford to go back at this point. I thought by 22 I'd have graduated with my teaching degree but my Dad died when I was 22 and I withdrew from classes because I missed so much and even if I went back I knew I couldn't handle it. I was in a fog for over a year...there is a large blank and I don't remember anything. Then I decided I'd go get my LPN (nursing was my 2nd career option) and I was 3 quarters from having that when I was told I didn't have a place to live mid quarter and had to move over an hour away from school home...and that got stopped too...I am not a quitter but everytime I start doing well something knocks me back. I was a waitress until 6 months ago. I had worked for Waffle House since I was 18. I never wanted to work there but mom made me apply and once I started it was like I couldn't get a different job that was more careerlike because everyone looked at waitressing like it wasn't a real job! The bank said that's not sales experience. Umm yes it is. Anyways..enough ranting. I just thought I'd have completed school, had a career by now (which I still don't, I work in a call center and my job gives me headaches! but it pays okay enough. Only $9/hr but normal here is mimimum wage unless you are a teacher nurse lawyer etc.) I wanted to be married at LEAST a year ago and have 2 kids by 27. But I'm not on the right track for that either...we won't have long between wedding and 27. But I feel pretty good that his truck will be paid off as soon as his tax money is back, mine 4 months after the wedding and we've got 6 acres of land paid for that hopefully after the wedding we'll be able to start putting something on whether we build or buy a modular home.
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  • I turn 27 Saturday.  I grad college and got a job quickly afterwards in an awesome career using my degree.  Saved for 3 years, and bought a house last May.  All that I'm pretty much in line with my life goals.

    17 year old me would have thought I'd be married with kids already, but I think it's all happening the way it should.  I didn't think I'd have the role of Stepmom, but I love FI's kids and wouldn't change that.  I'm still in line to maybe TTC before 30 years old so let's call it a win lol.
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  • I am currently 25. By now, I thought I would be married and pregnant with our first child. I've always wanted to have at least one child by 27, but done by 28, but I'm not sure that is going to happen now. I am one step closer than I thought though, because I thought I would be getting my master's degree while raising children, but I will graduate in July, so I'm glad that I was able to get that done ahead of time.
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  • I'm 25. I actually didn't want to get married younger than this, nor did I ever want kids earlier than 29 or 30. I have a college degree, stable job as a nurse, FI has a stable job, we have a gorgeous lab. We're going to look at homes after we're married.
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  • I never planned on getting married, never wanted kids, was only concerned about making it in my career.
    Well I got my BA, found a job right out of college and have been working in my field while I worked on my masters, which I finished last year.  I thought being 4 years into my career I would be further along in my career but so far Im still considered a jr employee doing the grunt work. Otherwise its coming along... When I met my FI I didnt think anything was going to last long term, but 7 years later we are still together and it has opened my eyes to wanting to get married. And the kids... I still dont think I want them but FI does, hes giving me 5 years to change my mind.. if i dont im sure he will adjust. My mom didn't have me(oldest) until she was 31, so im not in a huge rush to have kids, FI (30 this year) mom had him at 20 so he feels like we are running out of time, especially since the majority of his friends from high school all have at least one kid. They are pressuring him to start a family for the reasoning that their kids can grow up together....
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  • I'm 24 now (will be 25 by the time we get married) and while I feel like my life is going in the direction that it's supposed to, it's not at all how I thought it would be when I was in high school!

    When I was younger, I always figured that I'd be married by my early 20's (21/22) and that I would have a couple of kids by the time I hit 25. Well, obviously those "goals" weren't met, haha!

    I do feel like things are where they should be (though I could do without all of the college loan payments!). I graduated college and have a job that's sort of related to my field, and FI recently changed jobs so that now he's making better money and will be receiving benefits now, so that's definitely a plus.

    I hope to start TTC about 6 months or so after the wedding, but FI and I agreed that we'd wait to see where things are at that point before we move forward with that. I'm really hoping to have more of our loans paid off so that we can start saving up money for a down-payment on a house.
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  • I'm 23 now and I guess i'm sort of where i thought i'd be?....

    My "goals" were to have children (i didn't think i could have them) and i have my beautiful 10 month old son :) and to have a financially stable home....but that isn't exactly what we have

    Right now i am a college graduate and on mat leave from a full time job. I am a mother to my son and a soon to be wife to my FI of 7 years (together for 7 engaged nearly 4 of them)

    i guess i'd say i'm happy with where i am in life :)
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  • I'm 24 and I am not where I thought I would be. I"m back in school going for my 2nd undergrad degree (nursing) and work a dead end job in a call centre. 17 year old me would have thought I'd be in my 3rd year of med school and have been engaged to some doctor in a house (I had big dreams).

    While I am engaged, it is to a plumber who is trying to finish up his apprenticeship to write his licensing exam. It's been a long process but it will be worth it in the end. That being said, we have very little debt, enough money coming in to pay our bills (though very little left over to save for our house) and 2 furbabies. Once the wedding is over with, we'll try to start putting money away for the house, which hopefully is about 2 years down the road.
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  • Very interesting thread trawas!

    I'm turning 28 in less than a month. I feel like I'm 40 most of the time.

    Teenage me was obsessed with "succeeding." My perception of success has changed a little bit. I always wanted to go to law school and be a big shot attorney at some big firm. I pictured myself as a rich, independant, workaholic who was always on the go. HA. Not quite! I went to law school. I'm a govt attorney in a town with one traffic light and I'm in bed by 9:00PM most nights. Hardly a "big shot", but I enjoy the simpllicity of it and I never thought I would. Funny how your priorities change.

    I never realistically thought about having a family until recently. Afterall, that was not going to be possible when I was becoming partner at my big law firm and running for President. HAHA. Now I realize, I will have kids, I will never be president or make partner and I will like a boring, simple life with a wonderful man and be prefectly content.   



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  • Hi~
    I am 42 and I can definitely say that goals in the 20s are a lot different than now...
    I got married the first time when I was 23 and everything was "perfect"...the fairy tale wedding, house, husband, good jobs, blah blah blah.
    We got divorced 7 years later when I was 30, which was actually a good thing, since we weren't right for each other.  No kids either, thankfully.
    Anyway, all the dreams I had then are different now.  My wonderful FI who is the most perfect match is all I want in life.  I've lost my secure, well-paying full time job and now work part time at half the pay I used to make.  I no longer have a nice house in the cul-de-sac and am actually apartment hunting while wedding planning.
    My goals now are to enjoy life and my husband-to-be.  All my other goals way back when don't mean the same anymore...especially when life gets hard.  So yes, priorities definitely do change and I've never been happier.
    We are getting married in Las Vegas and plan to live a simple life and just have fun, just like our wedding. :)
    I guess what I'm trying to say is...don't let the drive for certain goals distract you from living a great life.  The goals are just a bonus when you reach them. :)

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  • I'm 24. I finished My B.A at 21 and then completed by Masters degree in Environmental Design shortly after at 23. I worked for the government in a very good job for a year but several positions were cut, including mine :( For the most part, I felt like I was on track with my goals; I thought i would be married at 26 and have at least 2 kids by the time I'm 30 but that has all changed now. My FI and I got engaged after we found out I was pregnant. I'm having the baby this summer and we'll tie the knot in October. So right now, we live together, I won't be working outside the home until after the baby. My FI has a good job so we live well, have zero student loan debt, and are saving up to buy a car for me and a house within a year. So speaking of goals, I never thought I would get pregnant before marriage. I also never planned to cohabit with my (then) boyfriend before we were officially married but life happens. I'm learning to be adaptable with these unforeseen changes; I have a positive attitude (on most days) and I count my blessings!
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