Offensive?

goatlady12

I'm not very religious.  FI is, and would like bible readings at our non religious ceremony.  I found a bunch online, printed them off, and marked about 6-7 I liked.  I handed him the paper and told him to pick 2 of the highlighted verses. One he picked was the classic Corinthians reading about love, the other was not highlighted by me.  It was this one:

Matthew 19:4-6 He answered, ”Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said,’Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”

I have very strong feelings about gay marriage.  I believe anyone should be able to marry who they love.  He feels the same way I do.  Personally, I think this verse is WAY too "marriage is between a man and a woman," which is NOT what I believe at all.  I feel bad telling him no to this reading, because the religious part of the ceremony is not important to me, but it is to him.  However, there will be gay couples at our wedding and it is very important to me to not offend them.
I told him my thoughts on this verse and he doesn't think it's offensive.  He likes that it says something about becoming one.  What do you ladies think?  Do you think it will be offensive to my gay guests?

**Please no homophobic posts**

brainybrunette

I'm with you on the support for gay marriage!  Gay or straight, love is love!

If I were a guest at your wedding, I would probably roll my eyes at this reading.  I don't think it's necessarily anti-gay marriage, but I do know that this is one of the bible passage that people use to argue agaist gay marriage.  At the same time, everyone interprets the bible differently, and people interpret this passage in their own way.

I would talk to FI and let him know how strong your feelings are about this passage.

Personally, I would not use this reading at my wedding.

I should add that FI and I are not religious in any way and are having a 99% secular wedding (a few somewhat religious elements mixed in to keep our grandmothers happy...they are not happy that the wedding isn't in the catholic church.  I should also add that our officient (family friend) is gay.

mana8503

Genesis 2:24 is where Matthew is talking about, and it's

24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall be become one flesh.

Doesn't sound AS woman- man only ... or tweak it to say

24 Therefore they shall leave their father and mother and hold fast to each other, and they shall be become one flesh.

Many Christians see that verse and the end all, be all to a happy marriage. We've been discusing it at our pre marital sessions with our pastor...

KmuJmg

I agree with Mana that you could tweak them a bit to exclude the MAN and WOMAN part and still include the portion where they talk about being one. Maybe just start with:
 
a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’ So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.

I have several gay friends and I really don't think that would offend them. They are fully supportive of my straight marriage. FI will be my husband and I will be his wife and we happen to be male and female. That doesn't have to take anything away from the love and committment that my gay friends have for their partners. I think so long as you're careful not to define marriage in a certain way, but instead focus more on that fact that you are becoming man and wife, you should be ok.

goatlady12

I'll have to talk to him about tweaking it.  I'm having a hard time with the "Made them male and female" part.  Probably best to leave that part out entirely.  I think it also bothers me because people use this reading to hate.  But, I guess hateful will use anything they can to be hateful. 

FI has uncles in Florida that I have never met.  The first time I meet them will be at the ceremony.  I just don't want them to roll their eyes and think that their nephew is marrying someone ignorant or anything.  My gay friends won't care, and will tease me about it.

I agree with you Nic.  If I heard this at a wedding I would probably roll my eyes too.  When FI told me he wanted this reading I told him I wouldn't have it at my wedding.  He reminded me it's our wedding, so I let it go for now.  lol!

shoebie

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_october-2012-weddings_offensive?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:56b9bcef-1e34-456e-81f5-cfaa107456b2Discussion:ab538acb-41ff-4519-8090-2777c12ce21cPost:c5db3d5f-0072-4b5b-8857-205104d96af0">Offensive?</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm not very religious.  FI is, and would like bible readings at our non religious ceremony.  I found a bunch online, printed them off, and marked about 6-7 I liked.  I handed him the paper and told him to pick 2 of the highlighted verses. One he picked was the classic Corinthians reading about love, the other was not highlighted by me.  It was this one: Matthew 19:4-6 He answered, ”Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said,’Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” I have very strong feelings about gay marriage.  I believe anyone should be able to marry who they love.  He feels the same way I do.  Personally, I think this verse is WAY too "marriage is between a man and a woman," which is NOT what I believe at all.  I feel bad telling him no to this reading, because the religious part of the ceremony is not important to me, but it is to him.  However, there will be gay couples at our wedding and it is very important to me to not offend them. I told him my thoughts on this verse and he doesn't think it's offensive.  He likes that it says something about becoming one.  What do you ladies think?  Do you think it will be offensive to my gay guests? **Please no homophobic posts**
Posted by Seipel12[/QUOTE]

This is a reading at my wedding, I do not think any one will take offense I support gay marriage and i picked this. Its fi's wedding to and this is a very common reading its about two bodies becoming one not about gay marriage you are over thinking it.

Too the ladies "Tweeking" your church is allowing that? Ours would die if 1 word is changed lol

mana8503

I'm not using that passage, or having a church wedding... just sugguested it.  I just know where Matthew got it from - Genesis, and it was even a  little less "offensive" and with changing 3 words/.