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ivedonethisb4

I don't deal well with stress. I feel so overwhelmed right now. My Moms been sick...I stress about the wedding and money for it and bills and my job and every little thing you could think of. Like my relationship is suffering bigtime. Due to my stress level. I find myself being snappy and I don't mean to be but the smallest thing sets me off. I can't sleep at night and I've gained 10 lbs when I needed to lose 10. So FI and I have been talking what little we can since we never see each other with our differing work schedules and finally today I couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't concentrate to do my job so I left work and went to the dr to get something to help...because I just can't relax my brain and I'm so overwhelmed I felt like my head was going to burst. I've never taken medication for anything like this but she gave me something for anxiety and depression. One's long term and the other is just as needed until the other kicks in and I'm just hoping it all gets evened out soon!

irishangieb

Ive been diagnosed with anxiety, its rough. Especially with all that you seem to have going against you right now, its hard not to get overwhelmed and start feeling physical symptoms (not sleeping, gaining weight, not being able to concentrate, being snappy).
Its easier said than done I know, but dealing with one issue at a time then filing it away, even if its for a day or two, really can help.  One thing that's helped me a bit is to physically remove myself from all that stresses me out and go for a walk, I take my dogs, they always seem to calm me down.

Another note, I'm sure you have, or maybe you haven't, but I'd make sure and tell someone close to you, who sees you often, (your FI) what was prescribed to you and to pay close attention.  Some of those meds for different things can make things worse (it did for a friend of mine). Not to make your problems worse, but its good to have someone looking out in case you have any major personality changes.

Good luck with everything!  I hope your mom gets better soon.

Ividian

I have take medication for anxiety and depression, it's very difficult, and the meds won't magically make everything better-but it certainly helps. As PP said, fnd something that helps calm you down, try to look at things one at a time. I found that things that used to seem like life or death issues are more in perspective now. Good luck, you can happy and you deserve to to be happy!

fishinflagrl

I have been feeling the same way lately, and my poor FI has been taking my blow ups on him so well...but its starting to get bad. My mom and sister are just driving me through a wall. I have thought about going to a doc for meds and maybe a counselor, so I can take it out on them and not everyone I love and dont mean to take it out on. I hope that these will help you some, we will all get through it...I hope.

NolaBride2012

I'm so sorry to hear what you've been going through.

As PP have mentioned, medicine may help. but it definitely won't completely solve things on their own. Might  I recommend possibly looking into linking up with a therapist? I'm a strong advocate of therapy (going 2 years strong because I really think it helps 1) to talk with someone who doesn't have an agenda 2) to schedule in some mental health time.... often our lives go so fast we don't have time to sit back and process what we'e going through. Therapy allows for that - often I think, "Ok, I'll deal with this on Thursday at 5" or whatever.

Best of luck to you, whatever you decide!

aimee58

I'm sorry that you've had to deal with all of this.

I've been on anxiety meds for about 3 years now. They help a ton in letting you deal with stress and manage it. But you will still probably have minor panic attacks/freak outs. I know I do, and it confuses people who think anti-anxieties are a cure-all.

Spend the weekend relaxing and trying to slow down the brain. Do something fun and distracting!!

violakat03

Absolutely try and add in therapy time. Medication is not supposed to work alone - you need counseling time to help it out. Having someone, as a PP said, without an agenda that you can just let off steam to will be a huge help.

I was diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety ten years ago. I've been off medication for 8 of those, though I'd like to get back into regular therapy again. I had a terrible experience with an anti-anxiety medication that makes me 100% agree with the PP that said to make sure a few people who are around you frequently are familiar with what you are taking and what sort of side effects it can have. If my mom hadn't reacted as quickly as she did to the adverse reaction I had, it could have ended up a lot worse. It's because of that experience that I choose to be unmedicated, but I understand that my path isn't the one for everyone. Us Knotties are definitely here for your emotional support if you ever need a place to freak out!

goatlady12

I've been snappy too lately.  I get really annoyed with people telling me how to run our wedding.  Also my grandma was diagnosed with cancer.  I told FI I didn't feel like I could control how snappy I was.  I told him exactly why I was snappy, apologized and made him his favorite childhood meal.  I also told him to expect more snapping and that I was sorry in advance, and it had nothing to do with him.  He told me he was greatful that I talked to him about it, gave me a backrub and now when I start to lose it he puts his arm around me and rubs my arm.  My advice it talk to him about it. 

Simply_Caitlin

I hate to sound like the hippie of the group but I have some suggestions on top of the ones here.

I'm not anti-medication, but there are a lot of potential side effects, so please pay close attention when starting any meds.  I had a doctor once that said if you experience one side effect that alters your day to day in any way, it's not the med for you.  Medicine has done wonders for people close to me, but I could not find one that didn't make me a zombie.  I was forced to go more natural routes, because my body is just too sensitive to chemicals.

First thing I'm going to suggest is looking as ingredients in your foods.  A lot of preservatives can cause anxiety symptoms to be worse in people who are sensitive to them.  The only way to know if you are is to cut them out and see how it makes you feel.

You may even consider beginning a food journal, logging what you eat.  You may find when you eat certain foods, your more sensitive to stress and anxiety.  This could be huge in helping you find potential triggers and you can tailor your diet to foods that that hurt you mentally.

Another thing is water.  Almost everyone is dehydrated daily, I cannot stress how important it is for your body to keep hydrated.  If you're a soda or coffee drinker, try swapping out at least one glass of whatever you normally drink for a glass of water.  Sipping on water throughout the day will also help you feel hungry less.  Your brain often interprets thirst as hunger, so sometimes when we feel hungry, we're actually just thirsty.

Yoga and meditation.  Here's where I get passionate. Like I said, I have severe anxiety and after trying so many different ways to get help through medication I found out I really can't handle any of it.  I began doing yoga off a video at home (though if you have the time and money a class will teach you proper stances and greatly decrease your chances of hurting yourself.)  The prime focus of yoga is focus.  Focusing on your movements and your breathing.   Deep breathing during an anxiety attack or even just time periods of high anxiety will lessen the physical symptoms, giving you the ability to focus on the mental.

Meditation isn't just sitting on the floor chanting "om" over and over, though sure it can be.  You can start by just sitting up in a chair, feet on the floor and hands on your leg.  Close your eyes and begin taking deep breaths.  Not through your chest, as  you breath in your stomach should inflate, not your chest.  As you exhale, draw your stomach in.  If you watch a newborn breathing, this is how they do it, over time we stop.
With each breath do one of two things.  You can either count your breaths, in your head chant 111111.. through the first, 222222.. through the second.  The purpose is to be totally focused on your breathing and keeping all other thoughts out of your head.  Every time you find yourself thinking about something else, start back at 1.  I bet your first time you probably won't even make it to 4.  It's a lot harder to clear your head than you think.  I've been doing it for years and sometimes I can't even make it past 2.  I find those are the times when my stress and anxiety are at the highest.  But it's a really great tool to learn the ability to control your thoughts.  It won't work miracles, I'm not going to say my anxiety is cured, but I feel more in control.  And frankly that's what a lot of anxiety boils down to, not having control, and the fear and dread that accompanies it.  Though you should be aware that sometimes anxiety has no cause.  I've been hit with a debilitating anxiety attack while totally relaxed and doing something I love.  There isn't always an explanation.
The second exercise is focusing on your body.  As you're doing your breathing I want you to focus on your foot, start on whatever side you feel comfortable with.  Say it's your right, I want you to focus on how your foot feels, how it feels on the floor, travel up to your ankle, leg, knee, thigh, stomach.  Be sure to focus on every body part for a short while.  Make mental notes on the sensations of each.  I know it sounds silly, but it really helps you become more in tune with your body.
When you've gotten the hang of this, in times of serious stress, take a moment to sit down and visualize this: Picture your stress as bad energy, picture it as a color you don't care for.  Say for instance you dislike black, start at your feet and envision yourself drawing this black energy up your body, all the way to your arms, then picture yourself drawing it down from your mind, then picture yourself releasing this energy down your arms and out of your fingertips.

If nothing else, you've taken this moment to get your physical symptoms under control with your breathing and your focus and for some people this exercise helps you feel in control of it.  Like you can literally remove this energy from your body.

Even if medication works for you, this could help too.  Some people laugh it off and that's ok, if you're reading this and thinking "Seriously Cait?  What a crock!" that's alright.  But I encourage you to try it.  It's never a bad thing to be in tune with your body.

But to echo what others have said, if you do go the medication route, please please please go to therapy or counseling as well.  I continued my counseling sessions after I stopped taking the medicines because it was really wonderful to have someone to talk to without any fear of being judged.  Also to know that s/he hears this all day long, which takes the stigma out of what you're going through.  So many of us have anxiety problems but it's hard to talk about, often out of fear of being laughed at, judged or looked at as weak.  Anxiety is NOT a sign of weakness.  Taking the steps to feel better is the most difficult thing to do and takes a great deal of strength.

The only other thing I want to tell you to do is the hardest.  SLEEP!  We are so much more prone to snapping/being stressed/anxiety when we haven't gotten a good night's rest.  Unfortunately between life, work, wedding planning, etc. it's not always up to us.  And it's a vicious cycle, the more stressed we are, the harder it is to sleep, the less sleep we get, the more stressed we are.  But that's a big one.

We're all here for you if you need to talk.

Simply_Caitlin

Yeesh, sorry, I didn't mean to write a novel.  I just know how difficult this all is and I always want to help.