Future MIL issues

hllokttygirl

All has gone smoothly with the planning so far....until issues with my future MIL came up. To make a long story short, we had a huge blow out about a month ago. We have tried to contact her, but she just ignores us unless it is essential. The fight came after 3 years of biting my tongue when she put me or her son down. Even though I feel like I was right in confronting her, I still feel awful how this has played out. My future husband is her last unmarried child ,and she did not attend the other kids weddings for various reason. I would hate for her to miss this one too (mostly because of how he might feel). I want to make things right, but SO has told me not to worry about it and that he has given up trying. I don't really believe him, but I wonder if I should just follow his advice or try to kiss some butt for his sake. Help please!

aimee58

Oh my...that's too bad that you're dealing with this. I would give it another couple of weeks and then bring it up with your FI again.

If I were you I'd kiss some butt. Even though they may not care now, you don't want either your FI or your FMIL to have regrets about the wedding. But at the end of the day, I would do what you think is best for you and your FI.

mrshall1027

I would probably try to reach out but not necessarliy kiss butt.  If you feel like you did the right thing, then you need to stand by that.  I find it weird that she missed her childrens weddings and I don't know the full story, but if she missed theirs, I wouldn't count on her coming to yours either.

I would give FI a little more time, bring it up again and see how he feels about it at that time.  I would try to contact FMIL and apologize for how everything came out and tell her that you would like to move on from this since all of you are adults.

I'm sorry you are having to go through this and hopefully it will all turn out for the best.

music11

It seems that there are other issues here (she missed her other children's weddings?). While I would attempt some sort of mending, I wouldn't "kiss butt" as this could set a precedent for the rest of your marriage.

halij52002

This all makes me thank the great lord above that I get along great with my FMIL and I have for the last 5 years! I think you should definitely try and reach out but I wouldn't kiss any butt like PP's said. You can only do your part.

hllokttygirl

Thank you everyone. Yes, there are many issues here when it comes to the children, which is why she has skipped all the weddings. One because she didn't like her son's choice in a wife, second cause her ex was invited and third because she couldnt get off work (all BS). I am going to wait a few weeks and then try to reach out. I can only try to persuade her to come at this point. Thanks again