BM gifts - too cheap? PIP - opinions??

aro1589

Hi guys!

I picked up my BM gifts today..but I feel like my gifts aren't enough/are too cheap.

I had all these super cute idea of monogramed oversized men's shirts to get ready in, personalized tumblers, bath & body works goodies, etc.  but I have 6 BM and am already wayyy over budget (aren't we all). 

And to be honest (hope this doesn't sound bratty) my girls haven't really done anything.  I KNOW all they have to do is buy a dress and show up, but it still sucks when they can't show up the my shower or bachelorette party.  They never ask about the wedding, offer to help, or even act that interested in being in touch with me at all.  So, because of my hurt feelings, I guess I didn't feel the need to go overboard. 

I got them each a candle and a picture frame.  I'm going to put a nice picture of me and each BM in the frames. 


My two sisters are BMs.  My sister Ashley has done so so SO MUCH (planned the entire shower/paid for 80% of it, planned the entire b-party, helped me print invitations, offers to help all the time - WAYYY more than my MOH who has done almost nothing) and my other sister would undoubtedly do more but she lives in Chicago.  I thought I would give them each a $10 gift card in addition to the candle and picture.

I just feel so cheap.  What do you guys think?  Is this too small of a gift?  Would you be disappointed if you got this?  If I didn't have 6 BM, I would have loved to have gotten them much more.  but gifts x 6 really adds up.  I didn't factor BM gifts into my budget nor did I think about gifts when I asked six girls to be in my wedding.

honest opinions?

pennylg

You should only do what you can afford to do. I'm sure they will appreciate it. Your ideas sound very nice and I'm sure they'll love having a special picture of the two of you to remember the day. If you haven't already bought the candles, you might consider buying a different scent for each girl, something that reminds you specifically of them (like pumpkin if you met in the fall, or apple if you go apple picking together, etc).

mlperkins12

I agree that you should do what you can afford to do.  I think a nice personal note to each would be a perfect way to round out the gift without adding to the cost.

[Deleted User]

I think you are fine. For my MOH I got, a necklace and earrings and a gift card to Starbucks AND we are doing mani/pedi, which I will pay for. Best Man got an autographed copy of a book and another history book about my home town because he likes history and it was kind of personal. That's it!

minionlover

I think that that is okay.  Like others said write a really nice personal note for each and that should be fine.

RockstarWifey0912

It's easy (and inexpensive) to personalize those kind of frames as well.  Just get some funky paints or lettering and wood glue and you can add their names, or initials.

I hear ya on the 'not doing anything'... Although,  yes, all they technically have to do is get the dress and show up sober.  My baby sister has been incredible- helping stuff/address invites, shopping for random things, helping with the few DIYs I've had.  My older sister is doing the games for my shower this weekend but I haven't really asked her to help with anything and she hasn't really offered.  FSIL made such a fuss about us NOT asking her to be one, that when we did let her in the party, she still hasn't offered or asked about anything.  It's whatever really.

AEPerpete

I think this along with a note is very personal and cute.

MelyndaRyan

Do what you can afford, however remember the time and money that the girls are putting into being part of your day.
Each of my girls are getting earrings and a bracelet along with something personal that I have found for each girl.

julzy

I think it's fine... except if you're having an expensive wedding or have asked them to spend over $200 on a BM dress etc. If that's the case I think it will look cheap in comparison. If that's not the case, then like PP said, a personalized note will go a long way.

I haven't gotten a ton of help and I'm over budget but spending about $50 per girl because just buying the dress seems like a big deal to me especially knowing what their incomes are like...

ivedonethisb4

I think you should do what you can afford. I had some necklaces made for my girls...they match their dresses. I was planning to pay for them but they were given to me as my wedding gift. So 4 beautiful necklaces...free. I also got a cheap hair flower from walmart for each girl..about 2.50 each. And bought hangers to paint for them with their names which I still haven't finished. I feel like all of this is wedding related and I need to get them something else...more personal to each but I have NO idea what! I may end up getting them a photo frame or something monogrammed.

thale0924

I wanted to get the oversized men's shirts to get ready in too!  Still haven't ruled it out if I can find a good deal.  I also wanted to buy each girl a cute tote bag...but WAY over budget to do that.  Then I tried to DIY it...disaster.   I too have 6 bridesmaids. 

I did, however, start picking things up when FI and I first got engaged a year ago.  At VS semi annual sale I got an amazing deal on lotion and spray? maybe lip gloss can't quite remember now.  I found these really nice candles at target (even come in a box! haha) for $2 each...usually 18.  Plus I have gotten them other little day of stuff and necklaces.   FI is only getting his gm alcohol and a little personalized trinket.  So I may get my girls some kind of their favorite alcohol too if I find something good on special.

I think it's enough with a note!  I do have to say I was in a wedding last August where the bride only bought us a bottle of alcohol and a martini glass.  I am not a huge drinker and would rather have had a picture frame and a candle any day!!

pengy16

My MOH loves a particular candle from yankee candle (I have a buy 2 get 2 free coupon right now) so I was going to buy her one of those, and this past weekend I went to Bath and Body Works because she loves a particular scent from there (also got her xmas gift since they had their special buy 2 get 1 or buy 3 get 2). So thats what I am getting her. Grand total cost will be around $30-40 for her. My bridesmaid I am going to give her a lotion from B&BW as well and maybe a gift card for BBB that she can use to buy something for her new apt but I'm not 100% on if thats what I am going to do, but again no more than $30-40 total.

The MOH dress was $10 at the thrift store but she is my bestie and she is going to be putting together all the parties plus she is going through some big medical things right now. My bm dress will be (she still hasnt ordered it so it still up in the air) $60 from targets bridemaids collection, and seems to have no interest in doing anything but hopefully show up. So their gifts are on par with their costs and within budget. FI still hasnt figured out what he wants to get his two bm, he needs to do something really nice for his best friend because for his bachelor party he is taking him to go see his fave football team play in New York.