Vent and Question

mrshall1027

Vent: My maid of honor is MIA.  She's been seeing her boyfriend for about 3 months and ever since she started dating him, I never hear from her.  We would talk just about everyday before he came around.  On top of that, she lost her phone about a month ago and hasn't gone to get another one.  I try texted her on her boyfriends phone and messaging her on FB and I never get a response.  My matron of honor and my mom have both been trying to get in touch with her and they haven't had any luck either.  I know it's very possible that she has something else going on that I don't know about and that she has her own life, but it's really upsetting and I miss my friend.  I'm not even concerned about wedding stuff, I just want to know that she's ok.  The last time I talked to her was two weeks ago and it wasn't for very long before her boyfriend came in and interrupted us.

Question: My matron of honor is trying to get my b-party planned, but she's been waiting to hear back from my maid of honor.  One of the other bridesmaids just had a baby and the other has 3 kids and she's has her mother and disabled father living with her.  I feel bad for my matron of honor and I don't want her to feel all the pressure of planning a b-party all by herself.  Is it ok for me to help out with the logistics of everything?  I know it's considered really bad to plan your own b-party, but I would just be going along with what she wants to do and she's asked me for my input on everything anyway...

LDubHawksFan

I'm sorry to hear about your friend.  It sounds like she may have something else going on, and since you said that is your main priority, I think you should send her a private message on FB, since that is your only mode of communication right now, expressing your concerns and how much you miss her....make no mention of the wedding or b-party.  BTW, I'm rather impressed that someone could not get a replacement phone! 
Anyway, I understand how frustrating it may be for your other MOH, so I think you are more than welcome to help her.  I know that is supposed to be a party thrown for you, but even on the pre-wedding page today, most of the ppl are saying it's ok to help and have input.  Plus, it's not like you are making her do it for you; she has already extended the offer and you are just helping her.  I think maybe since she is the only one that may be contributing since other MOH is MIA, and you didn't mention other BMs, you should choose a really low key b-party and keep costs down.  Good luck!!

lv2011

I think, given the circumstances, that it'd be very kind of you and totally appropriate to give your matron of honor any assistance she needs. Just let her guide you with what she needs you to do.

Sorry your friend is being so non-communicative. I hope that you work things out and she's ok.