I had a super eventful weekend. I did my hair and mu trial which turned out great. I had my shower on Sunday and took yesterday off of work to take care of marriage license and 1st fitting. All great things but came with one heck of a melt down.
Sunday was FI's side of the family shower. FMIL controlled the guest list, and there were several people I didn't know. They were her cousins, and I overheard several comments from them that lead me to believe they had never even met FI. It was no big deal, but having people I didn't know at all, didn't ease my nerves being in the spotlight all afternoon. I have really bad anxiety about that kind of thing, I've had several panic attacks in my lifetime (mostly from school) about speeches, or being put on the spot.
I was doing fine. The last I had heard they didn't plan on doing games, which was a huge relief on my nerves. Suddenly, FSIL tells me that she asked FI a bunch of questions and for each answer I didn't match I had to stuff a marshmallow in my mouth, and that I better be able to fit a lot. Having that sprung on me, sent me into full blown panic. I quickly excused myself and ran into the bathroom, where I went into a full blown panic attack. I was crying, the room was spinning, heart racing and unable to catch my breath. I texted my sister to come help me. She came flying up to the bathroom and then explained to FMIL and FSIL that I couldn't do the games because of my nerves. I was completely embarassed that it had happened, and was terrified that they would all think I was a poor sport. Which was not the case at all, I completely lost control of myself and I don't even know why.
I told FI about it when I got home and he was totally understanding. He's not much of a public speaker either. I just hope my FILs are as understanding as he is.
Anyway, I'm just wondering if anyone else has had something like this happen. I'm seriously considering getting happy pills until after the wedding. I feel more and more like a total nut-job the closer the wedding date gets.