bridal party dilemma

pengy16

I had stated in the past i have a bridesmaid that was flaking out. Well i decided since i hadnt heard anything from her i would just send her the invite to the weddng and see how things go. 

I guess something clicked for the bm i was having issues with because she sends me a facebook message saying she needs the link for the bm dress, she wanted to know the details for the wedding, and she was sorry for being a bad bridesmaid.

She became extremely flaky that i was basically done with her and expected nothing from her. Now i dont know if i should tell her she is invited as a guest or still keep her as a bridesmaid. She can still order the dress since i picked a dress from targets bridesmaids collection. I dont mind if she is apart of the wedding if she will actually do what she needs to do, but i have basically planned for her not to be in the wedding.

Heath66

If you value your friendship with her and would like to keep it I would not kick her out of the bridal party. Kicking out a bridesmaid basically ends the friendship. I would personally keep her in the bridal party. If she doesn't get the dress, or if she flakes out, It's very sad, but she did it to herself. 

lv2011

I'd say that if she actually buys the dress, and then shows up at the rehearsal, then she's in the wedding. Just plan for her to be in it, expect her to not, and then roll with it depending on what she does. Try not to let it get to you. Some people just have a compass that points only toward themselves. At least if you prepare for both possibilities but expect the worst, you won't end up being so disappointed.

Sorry you're dealing with this!

LDubHawksFan

I don't think you should kick her out.  It will definitely end your friendship, but probably add stress and drama as it gets closer to your wedding.  Send her the link and the info about when she needs to be there, and don't put any more effort into it.  If she gets the dress great, all she has to do is stand up there.  If she doesn't, then she is out, but it's not your fault.  After the wedding, that's when I think you can decide whether the friendship is worth it and can part ways then.

mrshall1027

I agree with all of what's already been said.  Don't kick her out and leave the ball in her court.  I hope she comes around and it all works out how your wanted it to originally.

NRod70

I say, wait and see if she gets the dress and shows she's serious.  If she doesn't, the the decision was totally hers.  I hope it all works out for you.