I DO NOT like confrontation

catwine

okay, long story short:  i didn't want my dad to walk me down the aisle because he left my family about 8 years ago and i didn't really have a relationship with him.  i planned to walk alone but my mom almost had a heart attack when i told her so i agreed to let her walk me.  i hadn't told my dad yet becuase i don't like confrontation ad emotional messes. 

he texts me a few weeks ago and asks why he isn't walking me.  i told him he doesn't deserve it adn he apologized for being a deadbeat.  he also said he was very hurt, blah blah. he texts me again later to ask me to reconsider.

i struggled with teh decision a lot!  i talked to someone i trust who has known my family for a very long time (before my dad left) and made my choice last night.  i was thinking of letting him do it with my mom just to make it easier, but then i realized i wouldn't want any pictures of myself walking down the aisle because i don't want to see my dad beside me.  we aren't a happy little family and i'm certainly not portraying that. 

i felt so much better after telling him my choice.

jessiflower

Good for you!  Its hard to make the right decisions sometimes when it might hurt someone else...but you have obviously made the right one here...What a weight to be lifted off your shoulders...congrats!!!!

ericaandtom2012

Way to go!! I'm glad you stuck to your guns and didn't let him manipulate you into doing something you didn't want.  It seems like your dad wanted the honor without having put in the effort.  

catwine

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_october-2012-weddings_i-do-not-like-confrontation?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:56b9bcef-1e34-456e-81f5-cfaa107456b2Discussion:fd3ee08c-79d2-4ce4-acfd-dcf4d5b8f3fdPost:887ead28-cc79-4546-b51e-79d1e2104a05">Re: I DO NOT like confrontation</a>:
[QUOTE]Way to go!! I'm glad you stuck to your guns and didn't let him manipulate you into doing something you didn't want. <strong> It seems like your dad wanted the honor without having put in the effort.</strong>  
Posted by ericaandtom2012[/QUOTE]

nail on the head, right there.

casyme

Good for you!  And if it feels better to you to walk down the aisle by yourself, then just explain that to your mom.  It's not a rejection of her; she can be standing at the foot of the aisle to receive you.  Plenty of brides go solo, and I think it's a better implicit message anyway -- you're not being given to your husband, you're choosing him.

RockstarWifey0912

In Response to Re:I DO NOT like confrontation:[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I DO NOT like confrontation:Way to go!! I'm glad you stuck to your guns and didn't let him manipulate you into doing something you didn't want. nbsp;It seems like your dad wanted the honor without having put in the effort. nbsp;Posted by ericaandtom2012nail on the head, right there. Posted by christinavy[/QUOTE]

That's how my dad is. He wanted to walk me down but couldn't even bring it up to my face. It wasn't until I mentioned it to my brother that our dad realized he sucked

catwine

I don' get why dads just assume they can do that because they have a daughter.  i'm not a fan of the "giving away" symbolism but i think dads have to earn the right to walk with their daughter is she so chooses. 

violakat03

I walked solo. Similar situation where my dad hasn't been involved in my life (though for me it's been my entire life - my parents divorced when I was 6 months old) and so I didn't feel he 'deserved' to walk me down the aisle. Rather than having my mom or my brother walk me, I decided to make a statement and go by myself. I'm an incredibly independent person and so everyone took that as my statement towards that, rather than against either of my parents. I chose willingly to go into this marriage, instead of being given into it.