DC

Too Many guests??

I originally planned on having 125 guests and now it's gotten to nearly 180!!
I MUST cut it down to 150, but how do I tell my mom that her friends/co-workers aren't coming?? Did I mention she's paying for majority of my wedding??
What to do? Any suggestions?

Re: Too Many guests??

  • edited December 2011
    I had the same problem.  We wanted 150 but now our list looks like its up to 215.  I sat down with her and showed her the list and let her choose who was A list and B list. So, she can get an understanding of how many people she is inviting and maybe want to cut back or explain to her that this is what the price is going to be if this many people come and if she is okay with it. I liked that you can separate the guests into categories and it can show you how many people on your side you are inviting etc. in the summaries.  Good luck! 
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  • edited December 2011
    Oh, lawdy, I know how this goes. We started with a list of 75 and are at nearly 200 now. Yeah, that's not a typo. A lot of that was due to parentguilt (and they're not even paying for the thing), but a lot of the guilt was self-inflicted, too.

    The main thing to keep in mind regarding parental contributions is that that money is a GIFT. And once a gift is given, the giver has no say in how it's used. That is the bottom line.

    A lot of "fringe people" who care about us and want to celebrate with us, but aren't invited to the wedding, are being invited to the day-after-BBQ, which I guess is typically a day-after-brunch. It's casual and cheap to feed them, and close enough to the actual wedding that they still feel important. Maybe you could do something like this?
  • edited December 2011
    Most people on theknot disagree and argue that if your parents are footing the bill, then they have more of a say in the guest list and other parts of the wedding invitation.  One way to cut down on guests is to eliminate whole "groups." That is, divide your list into groups like "family" "college friends" "mom's co-workers" "neighbors" and try eliminating a whole group, rather than individual people.  This might be easier, or at least more "fair" (one coworker won't feel snubbed that a different coworker got invited, but they didn't).
  • edited December 2011
    Thanks for the advice.
    Putting people into groups seems like a good way to trim the list.

    I wish I could do a day after BBQ....just not feasible.
  • Lauren19.Lauren19. member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    We wanted 80 or 90 and are now at 138. The sad thing is at least 30 of those are "and guests." I'd rather just give and guest so people don't b**ch (because a few will), but I REALLY don't want a fifth of my guests to be strangers!!
  • Lisa50Lisa50 member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_dc_many-guests?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:57Discussion:0fec06f9-7604-44c2-97aa-905e5d634a44Post:c92afcb9-b909-4ce1-88b4-86ec1f48f2cf">Re: Too Many guests??</a>:
    [QUOTE]We wanted 80 or 90 and are now at 138. The sad thing is at least 30 of those are "and guests." I'd rather just give and guest so people don't b**ch (because a few will), but I REALLY don't want a fifth of my guests to be strangers!!
    Posted by mavourneen19[/QUOTE]

    Well, you don't have to invite them.
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