Ceremony sites and MAJOR RANT

allmonjoy1

Two problems today: 1. My mothers church will not marry me unless my FI moves OUT of our apartment during marriage counseling! I totally get the importance of marriage counseling, but come on, we already have a child together for heavens sake! I refuse to do that, (its totally over the top and costly)  so I called around and found the chapel on Ft. Belvoir, which leads me to number 22. the chapel (on Ft. Belvoir) is no longer doing weddings as there are so many funerals for soldiers going on. So I can ATTEMPT to use the smaller chapel on base BUT since my parents are not active duty military, we can only book six months in advance.Does anyone have any suggestions for officiants in the area.  My mother would DIE if I didn't get married in a church but I am at a loss now. HELP! TIA

sarahmelendrez

Do you have to get married at an Army base? If so, try Ft. Myer? If not, try Quantico. Do you have to get married at a certain denomination's church?

DEETZEL

I don't know what denomination you are, but you can try Clarendon United Methodist Church (Arlington, VA).  I'm Catholic, FI is Church of Christ, and we were having a very tough time finding a church until another knottie recommended CUMC.  They are super nice, marry non members, and don't require marriage counseling.  Let me know if you want more info.

scoetto

I know it's not the best thing to do, but my friend (and DC knottie) lied to their church about not living together during marriage counseling. She said she lived with her parents.

KatieintheCity

You should look at some Unitarian Universalist churches. I know there's one in Arlington and one in Bethesda that will let you marry without being members.

OFF

Geez hello it's the 21st century. This is so impractical with people getting married later in life and rents in this area being what they are how can they expect that everyone who walks through their door will be living in separate locations. Can you get married in the church but use someone else to officiate? All VA counties have a list of officiants for their county. You should be able to find the info on Fairfax or Arlington County websites.

jenmcg

Assuming you're Catholic, I think the DC diocese will not require FI to move out. We're doing our counseling at St. Philip's in Falls Church and while Father Wu would prefer we not be living together, he just told us that the church prefers that we be celibate until marriage. I know in general the Arlington diocese is super conservative but I had two girlfriends get married in DC and do their pre-cana there and they lived with their FIs.

jlm245

That is crazy! We are getting married (in a week!!) at a Catholic church in DC and they didn't make us live apart.  (We have been living together for more than 2 years.)  They only said they would "prefer" that we lived apart but they realize that was hard for most people.

sylveste

We're getting married at St. Charles Catholic Church in Clarendon and Fr. Creedon didn't give us a hard time either. 

tidetravel

Wow. Heaven forbid that military funerals interrupt your pretty princess day. Get married where you want to - if you're not religious there's no reason to get married in a church; especially not just "any church" to appease your mother. Your mother didn't die when you had a child out of wedlock. She's not going to DIE if you don't get married in a church.

melissainabq

the chapel (on Ft. Belvoir) is no longer doing weddings as there are so many funerals for soldiers going on. So I can ATTEMPT to use the smaller chapel on base BUT since my parents are not active duty military, we can only book six months in advance.Does anyone have any suggestions for officiants in the area. My mother would DIE if I didn't get married in a church but I am at a loss now. HELP! You are a piece of work. Did you actually just combine the idea of your mother dying if you don't get married in a church with the fact that so many people are dying defending our freedom?

mwhitson14

You are absolutely ridiculous, and I'm appalled that you're upset about the fact that military FUNERALS are messing with your wedding!!Seriously, there are more important things.

scoetto

Neckie, it's nice you found your way to my board. Can you please find your way to DC? kthanksbye

allmonjoy1

SO apparently, some of you thought that I was complaining about the fact that the chapel was not doing weddings due to funerals...THAT WAS NOT THE CASE, 1. I was complaining that I can not book the smaller chapel earlier. 2. BOTH of my parents served our country in the military, so I understand and respect the sacrifice our troops make. I do find it pretty funny that a select few people decided to be sarcastic and rude, rather than asking for clarification. I admit, that my message was unclear, but sheesh. I'll assume that those who were mean are the exception here. In regards to the genius that said i was a "piece of work"-I was simply stating how important it is to my very religious mother, that I get married in a church. To those of you that offered USEFUL suggestions and/or advice thanks a bunch. I am currently contacting the officiants that you all suggested.

tidetravel

Just because the advice wasn't what you wanted to hear doesn't mean that it's useless. I fail to understand why you would get married in a church when you are obviously not religious. It's your wedding; not you mothers'

[Deleted User]

My mother would DIE if I didn't get married in a church but I am at a loss now. HELP! this comment makes me sick.  my mother actually did DIE 2 months before our wedding.  makes me sick and angry and sad to see someone make such a comment so flippantly.  especially about something so STUPID.

tidetravel

P.S. my grandmother just about had a heartattack when both me and my sister decided not to get married in churches or by priests...But she didn't, did she? 

allmonjoy1

*"Just because the advice wasn't what you wanted to hear doesn't mean that it's useless. I fail to understand why you would get married in a church when you are obviously not religious. It's your wedding; not you mothers'"*The point was some of you all didn't offer advice-just snarky comments. You in particular insinuated that I was being a "princess", but did pose a question that I would like to answer as others may be wondering the same. My mother is uber religious. I attend church weekly, but think its ridiculous for the father of my child, also fiance to move out of our home just so my pastor will marry us! Yes it is my wedding and to be honest my mother isn't even contributing (monetarily anyway) BUT she is still my mother, and if she wants me to get married in a church, if it makes her happy then i will. I dont really care one way or another. Call me a "go with the flow" type of girl. Like I said before, looking back at my original post, I can see how someone could mistake what I was saying as lack of respect or disregard for our troops (not the case) but the backlash I am getting from some (not all) here is incredible!For those of you who took issue with the figure of speech "she would just die" I really do apologize. Sometimes sarcasm doesn't come across well in an online post. I was attempting to convey how embarrased my mother would be if I didnt get married in a church

SLAHSarah

My catholic church (St. Francis of Assisi) in Triangle VA, just outside of Quantico is very welcoming and understanding when it comes to living arrangements.  FI and I are living together and will be married there in July.  Check them out.HTH!!! 

m_masino

I feel for you.  I made the mistake of sending an email earlier this year without really thinking about it before i sent it. I got such huge backlash from it (not on here--this was at work!!).  Sometimes we write like we talk, and people misread what we're saying because they can't hear the tone.  It's a tough lesson I learned and now I read all emails I send about three times before I send them:)  As for your church scenario--I respect that you're doing it for your mom.  I applaud you for being so considerate especially given the stress that comes with wedding planning.  I second the person that said lie to the church, but I'm not religious, so you probably shouldn't take my advice.  Ironically I'm getting married in a catholic church, but they are a lot more flexible.  So my advice would be to call around to other churches to see if they'd be willing to help you out, and if this is a catholic church--maybe consider a non denominational or other christian church.  They seem to be willing to bend more:) And spuliafaco--you go Girl!! Right on with the post:) You should mediate because you see through the drama!! 

vitamint

I hope you find someone. I like Rev, Jim Burch. He is a frmer Catholic bushop now married. I also like St. Charles in Clarendon. I just started going there. We are not getting married in Catholic Church because FI is not Catholic. I totally understand your concerns about upsetting your mom. Ft Meyer Chapel is really nice. We wanted to get married there, FI had 11 years active duty and is now reserve but rules say we can only get married there if is he is active duty anyway good luck!

nooniesinlove

I'm getting married at the Cathedral of St. Thomas More in Arlington, and they are completely cool with my FI and I living together. Fr. Ripey did casually suggest that we think about moving out, but that was it. He's actually a pretty chill priest in general, and he's the guy they'll put you with if you don't have a priest preference. You just need to sign up to speak with them six months before your date. There are no church fees aside from the cantor/organist fees and any donation you might want to give.

m_masino

I second Father Rippy at St. Thomas More.  That's where I'm getting married and I'm not catholic!  He was totally cool with that. 

SafroniaB

Check out www.rentapriest.com if you "need" a Catholic to keep your mom happy but need more understanding than your present priest is willing to offer. Don't let the cheeky Web address throw you off; it's not really "renting" a priest and our experience so far has been wonderful.

rmichalak

Depending on where your reception is you can also look at other churchs. I understand it might not be your church, but it's an idea.

nicole0712

i dont understand why so many people are being sensitive about the whole issue...she asked for suggestions not a class session on humanities...my brother died in 9/11 so i dont think her comparing dead troops to her mother dying from not seeing her getting married in a church is that much relevant...ladies lets act our age here and not our shoe size please. everyone has a right to there own opinion, ideas, rel. belief's and freedom of speech....this is a happy moment in every women's life....if it makes u feel any better the chapel at the university of maryland in college park maryland...can let you get married no matter what you are..and any religion you may be! that's where im going..and there is no counseling or having to separate...so relax...its a one time in a life moment...make the best of it...

janegalt

My fiance's family is also uber religious, and I feel your pain.  Does it actually need to be in a *church*, or just by a minister?  We're getting married by a pastor we love, retired Lutheran, but using the 1928 Episcolpalian service, which is just weird enough to offend neither his southern evangelical family, nor my northern uber-feminist relatives.  And we're having him do it at our venue in DC.  His mother is totally happy as long as it's a minister and a religious service; we've added two bible readings.Email me at janegalt -at- janegalt.net if you want the name.