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Georgia-Atlanta

Pregnant MOH issues!!

I just found out my sister (and MOH)  is pregnant and due about 2 weeks before my wedding. This pregnancy is not a good thing. I have had to deal with her and her hubby's issues for years now. We're getting a divorce, we're not, blah blah. I have gave her my opinion on their relationship just a few weeks ago during their most recent huge fight. I though for sure, she was finally leaving an emotionally abusive relationship. She ended up staying because he's "going to change" and now they are expecting. I can't even fake enthusiasm for this. I will try to support her during this time, but I am having a real issue with her hubby. I had already planned on sitting her down while I'm home during Thanksgiving and explaining how i don't want him at my wedding unless something seriously changes, i.e. he gets professional help for his addictive and angry behavior. I'm sticking to my guns on this, but I am feeling increasingly guilty because he's the father of her child. I don't know what to do!! 

I really have been chill about wedding planning so far, but I can't budge on this. I want to tell her now, so she can decide if she still wants to be a part of my wedding. Any advice??? 

Re: Pregnant MOH issues!!

  • pokepoke27pokepoke27 member
    5000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    This is a really sticky situation and honestly there probably isn't any right way to deal with it. No matter how you approach it, feelings will be hurt. 
    If I was in your situation, I would just keep my mouth shut and offer her support whenever she needs it. She's obviously going to stay with this guy and if/when things get ugly, she's going to need you. Unfortunately, people rarely listen to good advice when it comes to their love life. 
    I honestly wouldn't give her that ultimatum. I think that could potentially ruin your relationship with her. If she is willing to stay in an abusive relationship, then she will stick by him in situations like these. And realistically, how much is he really going to bother you at the reception? My Aunt started dating this really creepy guy that NO ONE likes, and although my Cousin really can't stand him she invited him along with her mother to the wedding. She was so happy on that day, and saw him so little, that she had even forgotten he was there at times. 
    I'm really sorry that you've got to deal with the stress of all this on top of planning your wedding, and I wish there was an easy solution. Maybe before you lay down the law about hubby being there, you should talk with her and stress how much he upsets you.
    Good luck!
  • adrianzbrideadrianzbride member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Hey!  I'm sorry she and you are going through this, but like Pokepoke said, probably the best thing for you to do is to just be there to support your sister and try not to jeopardize your relationship with her.  (((hugs)))
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