Why?

mari0225

Do friends feel like they can tell you who you can or can't invite to your own wedding?

mari0225

I just wanted to vent a minute, I know it's early but being the planner that I am I wanted to get a rough guest list out of the way so I would know approx. how many people we were inviting and etc. Well the FI and I met in October of 2009, and then he introduced me to  his friend we'll call him Dave...well Dave and his g/f at the time "Sue" were nice and we hung out a few times until they broke up and then Sue and I became friends.

Well now Dave is engaged to a friend of mine from high school, FI and I introduced them. We will call her Kate, so now the planning is underway and Sue is remarried. Well I really wanted to invite Sue and her new hubby to the wedding as they've really been great friends to FI and I, but now Kate is saying if I do invite them she won't come and won't let Dave come either, Dave is one of FI groomsmen.

Sorry just needed tonight and FI's at work so I couldn't vent to him

HYDROPHILE

Tell Dave to grow some balls.  Invite who you want.  If Dave is a true friend to your FI, he will come (and be part of) the wedding.  Let Dave's fiancé look like the "you-know-what."

mari0225

LOL thanks! I think that I shall do that! I'm not the biggest fan of Dave but he's FI's friend, that being said at this point FI doesn't care whether he's there or not.

HYDROPHILE

There is certainly no need to create any additional drama (aka "Kate") than there already is surrounding weddings. 

mari0225

Nope! I have enough going on with my grandmother and FI's grandmother who hates me! I don't need "kates" crap! lol

My_Matt

Wow. Kate sounds like a real winner. Dave needs to man up and support his friend and ignore Kates immaturity. LAME.

mari0225

Yeah, tell me about it

em01092

I agree with PPs. Invite who you want. Tell Kate to get over it, in a more polite way. Its not up to her who you invite, and if she can't be in the same room with her FIs ex, who has CLEARLY moved on with her life if she is married, then Kate has some major insecurity issues. Would I be thrilled to know my FIs ex was at an event thrown by a friend  we were attending? Well no. But I wouldn't have any right to dictate the guest list, and plus I have never met/talked to any of his ex's. None of them have ever given me a reason to dislike them. I'd introduce myself and chat.

Did something crazy happen between Kate and Sue? Unless Sue tried to kill her or something, then Kate needs to put on her big girl pants and deal. And definitely tell Dave to grow a pair and man up. 

mari0225

No Kate and Sue have never met. Sue and Dave had a bad break up but they have never met.  So yep everyone has clearly moved on, I don't talk about Dave and Kate's relationship with Sue and Vice Versa as it's none of my business and she doesn't ask because she knows it's none of hers either.