Reception Challenges - need advice!

jlander98

My parents and I feel very differently about serving liquor at our wedding.  We are older (me 36, Fi 42) and most of our guests are 30+ and my dad feels that we should just serve wine and beer since he feels that is what "most people drink", he also feels that people get out of control with liquor.  I'm trying to stay calm and remind him that we are all older, most of our family/friends have children and can stay in control.  I feel really strongly that we should have at least 2-3 different kinds of liquor to serve along with beer & wine.  We have talked about a signature cocktail, but I'm not jazzed about it.   While we are on a budget, we can bring in all of our own alcohol and mixers, so it won't be that much more to add liquor to that list.  Any help and advice on this?  I'm open to suggestions, help and advice!  Thanks!

em01092

Who is paying for this? At the end of the day, who controls the purse controls the power. 

If your parents are paying, you need to try and respect their wishes or come to some common ground. If you are paying, do whatever you want. They don't have to like the idea. They probably will not like 1/2 of your ideas. 

No matter who is paying, decide on what you and your crowd will like and get the most out of. Consider how many guests are coming and out of those, how many drink? I know for a fact that about half of my guests won't because they are strict Southern Baptists and don't touch the stuff. Before ILs offered to do an open bar, I made a chart in Excel with all guests and what I know they typically drink or would drink at weddings and went from there. 

Sapphire1002

My (now) husband and I had this disagreement when we were planning. I felt fine serving wine/beer... it's one night and a few hours.  Though I actually prefer mixed drinks to beer in general, one night is fine to be without.. My reasoning was: I was concerned about a handful of guests. These specific people drink too much on any given night and I felt concern from seeing them many, many times.  With that being said, people drink too much at any age, but most are responsible.  In the end, we had a full bar, but handled my concerns by speaking with the venue manager and our wedding planner.  They were keeping an eye out for those that may be getting out to control and if need be, they'd cut them off. The venue doesn't want the liability.  Also, they were near the door when guests startd to leave..if they felt someone needed a cab, they had #'s handy.  Maybe discuss your parents concerns with the venue and see what their policy is and hopefully that will alleviate some of your parents worry.  HTH!

mari0225

Yes I would discuss, it's your wedding and if you are paying for it all then the choice is yours. I would definately have people set up so they can keep an eye out and can call someone a cab if they need one.

HYDROPHILE

Does your venue require different security guards/deposits for different alcoholic beverages?

A few venues we looked at charged a certain beverage fee and one security guard for X number of hours if you served beer/wine, but if you served hard liquor, it was a higher fee and two security guards for x number of hours.

chrissyinatl

My fiance and I also disagreed on this.  I wanted to serve beer/wine only and he felt like "This is a big celebration, I want everyone to have what they want" and so it's probably a $2K difference for us to add in liquor, but we are doing it.  We have a few friends that don't drink beer/wine of any kind (because of taste) so that's partially why too....

jlander98

Thanks for the advice - we still haven't made a final decision. But when it comes to the reception, my parents are footing the bill, so I may not have much more say in it.  The wedding is in a gated community and most guests are staying there, we are also providing transportation for everyone to/from the wedding/reception site.  That at least alleviates one concern.  We aren't paying for security, but I don't antcipate too many problems, my crowd is pretty controlled! 

Thanks again!