QOTD

Nati05

How often would you say you and FI argue or fight a week/ month? Are the issues usually resolved right away?

Happy hump day everybody!

LADY324

How often would you say you and FI argue or fight a week/ month? We really don't fight mabye a couple of times a year if that?  I can't even remember out last fight it was so long ago.  I mean we do bicker about hey do I have to ask you to take out the garbage everytime it needs to go out.  Or why don't you do the dishes tonight and give me a break.  But they are not fights


Are the issues usually resolved right away?  When they arise yes.

penny12986

We also bicker about silly things like which restaurant to eat at or who is going to do the dishes next but nothing major.  We try to resolve things immediately so they don't fester because that isn't healthy for anyone.

dramaqueen91087

We bicker constantly. But its about trivial things and most of the time we are just joking around. I think other people might think we hate each other but really we are just playing around. As for real fights, they don't happen very often. When they do they are usually resolved pretty quickly, I hate being mad at him.

mekiakoo

We usually bicker about stupid things like what time to eat dinner, when to leave, or when we can't decide what to do. I feel like we're turning into his grandparents! Haha!

We don't usually argue, but when we do- we try to resolve it right away, but sometimes we need time apart before sitting down and talk. He has the tendency to have "nothing to say" and I'm always the one rambling on and on. He's fine with going to bed angry, and I am not! So we usually deal with it before we go to bed

Oh and it's hard staying mad at him.

Amanda1443994

We don't really fight. Maybe once or twice a year and it is resolved very quickly. We bicker and have tiny arguements over stupid things a few times a month. I actually love to go to bed angry (though my FI hates it). I feel like when I sleep I become more relaxed about the situation and sleep really does bring me clarification. I've actually come up with great ideas for work and school issues while I'm sleeping. I'll wake up in the morning with these epiphanies. So the same happens when we bicker. I wake up in the morning and I'm good (:

mekiakoo

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_qotd-18?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:7674b4db-12a3-4022-b00c-3da70642d048Post:c0669e41-9bd4-4014-9c4f-1435a6f1447c">Re: QOTD</a>:
[QUOTE]We don't really fight. Maybe once or twice a year and it is resolved very quickly. We bicker and have tiny arguements over stupid things a few times a month. <strong>I actually love to go to bed angry (though my FI hates it). I feel like when I sleep I become more relaxed about the situation and sleep really does bring me clarification. I've actually come up with great ideas for work and school issues while I'm sleeping. I'll wake up in the morning with these epiphanies. So the same happens when we bicker. I wake up in the morning and I'm good (:
</strong>Posted by Amanda1443994[/QUOTE]

Wow!! I wish I was the same. I just get more angry in the morning when I wake up and look at my FI then I just get out of bed and ignore him until he decides to finally say something to me.

Rebis58

When we were living together (we're long distance right now) we probably argued once every week or two, but these were small arguments, more like bickering, and were over quickly. In terms of legitimate fights, probably once every few months. We don't resolve them right away, but always the same day or next morning (rarely lasts until the next morning). FI can be unreasonable when he's mad, so sometimes we need to go to separate rooms or he leaves and runs errands or something. 

I have to give FI props that he is VERY good at (eventually) listening to what has upset me, thinking about it, and making a huge effort at seeing my point of view. He apologizes when he needs to and changes behaviour when he knows it makes me feel hurt.

Nati05

Well I feel pretty crappy to say we argue fairly often. I don't mean all out fighting, but arguing over something probably every 2 weeks or so. When we're not getting along, it might be several times a week. But I guess every relationship is different. Not to mention it's gotten worse since we've been working together to start our own business. It's rough because he hasn't quit his job yet so I'm the face/ "owner" of the company while I'm still very very new to this whole marketing thing. I'm doing my best to not let it affect our lives, but it's not so easy all the time. We're on a good streak though so I'm pretty happy haha

Amanda1443994

Yea I'm a little strange when it comes to that lol Everyone always tells me you shouldn't go to bed angry but it really just works for me. I feel bad though because my FI feels bad but he's gotten used to it after 5 years.

Nati05

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_qotd-18?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:7674b4db-12a3-4022-b00c-3da70642d048Post:80b33f74-db66-4005-a62e-bc640fb5e369">Re: QOTD</a>:
[QUOTE]Yea I'm a little strange when it comes to that lol Everyone always tells me you shouldn't go to bed angry but it really just works for me. I feel bad though because my FI feels bad but he's gotten used to it after 5 years.
Posted by Amanda1443994[/QUOTE]

I agree though! There are some things that need to be taken care of right away, while others need for both persons to seperate, breathe and rethink things a little in order to come back and resolve things reasonably.

Amanda1443994

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_qotd-18?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:7674b4db-12a3-4022-b00c-3da70642d048Post:d66d8e4a-3afa-4e27-92f1-958245d36fb4">Re: QOTD</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: QOTD : <strong>I agree though</strong>! There are some things that need to be taken care of right away, while others need for both persons to seperate, breathe and rethink things a little in order to come back and resolve things reasonably.
Posted by Nati05[/QUOTE]

Ok I'm glad I'm not the only one (:

Elinetrouwt

I just cannot sleep when I'm upset. I'll go over the issue for hours.

But FI and I never fight. Last Sunday, I was mad at him for about ten minutes, because of his tendency to keep working on his free days. But that was for the first time in months. I told him that I didn't like it, without raising my voice or anything, and then he said he was sorry and hugged me, and I stayed grumpy for a bit, but that was it.

We have mock fights all the time though, saying things 'How could you do that to me?' in a dramatic voice over nothing. I can't explain it, but it's funny.

BrightFirefly

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_qotd-18?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:7674b4db-12a3-4022-b00c-3da70642d048Post:84fc78ce-b2c8-4257-a6bf-54db3825f06d">QOTD</a>:
[QUOTE]How often would you say you and FI argue or fight a week/ month? Are the issues usually resolved right away? Happy hump day everybody! :)
Posted by Nati05[/QUOTE]

<font color="#008000"><strong>When we were a long-distance relationship,  we fought hard-core every other week almost - but we knew it was because of the distance and all the baggage that I was carrying with me  - which was quite a bit of junk.

Now that we live together - we bicker maybe once a week over something small....but we rarely fight over anything big..I can't really remember the last time.

Most issues are resolved within minutes - we battle it out - but sometimes because FI likes to "shut down and be left alone" - it takes longer.  Usually the big fights are about Abuela, as you know.

WE NEVER cross the line though - we never make the "attacks" personal. We never call each-other names when we're fighting. It's always about the issue...so I think that's healthy. </strong></font>

BrightFirefly

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_qotd-18?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:7674b4db-12a3-4022-b00c-3da70642d048Post:80b33f74-db66-4005-a62e-bc640fb5e369">Re: QOTD</a>:
[QUOTE]Yea I'm a little strange when it comes to that lol Everyone always tells me you shouldn't go to bed angry but it really just works for me. I feel bad though because my FI feels bad but he's gotten used to it after 5 years.
Posted by Amanda1443994[/QUOTE]

FI is just like you!! If we get in an argument - and it's close to bed-time..that's where he goes. I HATE going to bed with things unresolved. I want to talk it out and be done with it. Lol.

ugh. Drives me nuts!!

bridetobe71412

We bicker constantly. Over everything. Literally.

But we're both lawyers, so it comes with the territory.

From the last week: whether all cupcake flavors can be made into cake (or should); whether it's proper to keep a hair straightener in the bathroom or the bedroom (he keeps his in his bedroom which I find weird); whether I need to eat animal protein every day (I eat vegetarian during the week); how he switches channels DURING A SHOW to a channel that is ON COMMERCIAL BREAK; whether I need to instantly clean using Fantastic on the kitchen counter immediately following dinner; whether I need more closet space than him because my "clothes are smaller and should take up less room" . . . I could go on. But I won't.

They are very rarely screaming matches, which we only have had maybe 4 times that I can remember. Those were bad, though. We didn't talk for a whole day which for us is basically forever.

And I agree with PPs - I can't sleep when I'm angry. I just lie in bed and get more and more angry. Same goes for being stressed out, though. I just overthink things.

hmacsine

In the beginning of our relationship we used to argue constantly. Now we rarely (2-4times a year) argue but when we do it's usually  big and it takes a couple of days to get over it. We usually don't bicker my fi and i are laid back people are we usually don't sweat the small stuff. If something he does bothers me, I let him know immediately and we usually can talk or text it out. We also have "roles" in our household which makes everything run smoothly.

k8888

My FI and I fight often... maybe a few times a week?

I honestly don't think there's anything wrong with it, either.  I always feel like we become even closer post-argument.  I'm a scrappy kind of a person and really hot-tempered and he LOVES to push my buttons.  Thankfully our arguments are rarely serious and we always seem to resolve them really quickly.

We've only had one fight that was almost a relationship-ender.  Without telling me (not that he had to at that point, I know...), he went and bought season tickets to the new NY Giants stadium around the same time we were talking about getting engaged.  I was really hurt because to me that was like him saying "I'd rather be single and do what I want than marry you."  Mind you, those tickets cost him $10k+... (another reason why we can't afford our own place yet).  So needless to say, I was crushed when he showed me his tickets.  He's still paying for that one hahaha.

msbdumas

just like many of you...me and fi bicker..like him helping with gettiing up with the baby in the middle of the night or doing dishes...we usually dont get into big heated arguments..when we do bicker we usually makeup with a kiss right after.the 2 times this year we had big arguments he left and didnt come back for hours...i was so worried he vowed to not leave like that and be gone for hours ! 

michelle11988

My FI and I bicker a lot but just about small things.  We usually have a blowout type fight every 6 months to a year.  It's healthy to fight and air things we are both just pretty blunt people.

Erinkathleen84

My FI and I bicker when one of us has had a bad day. When we are both in good moods we are extremely lovely dovey and sick to be around.

We used to get in bad fights at the beginning and would make up almost immediately. We have really learned how to communicate with each other ... b/c before we were really really bad at it. After learning that from each other our fights do not happen.

We have also been together for over 5 years...so we have had experience !

Elinetrouwt

Knot! Now you're going too far! That is sooo not my avatar!

BeabullMom

We bicker, we fight...a lot!  Lol!  He prefers to go to bed angry. He will even sleep downstairs.  Then the next morning things are fine because it was normally about something silly.  He can't talk to me when he is upset.

bells24412

How often would you say you and FI argue or fight a week/ month? Are the issues usually resolved right away? We bicker a lot, but it is usually all stupid things. We always make up right away. I think the last time we really fought about something serious was before we got engaged. When we fight about something serious we both just need our times to cool down then we talk about it and usually resolve it.