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uncomfortable question

How common is it for close friends who attend your wedding to not give you a gift or card before your wedding or AT your wedding?  We just had our wedding (Fabulous!) and found it odd that so many friends didn't even give us a card at the wedding- no note, nothing.  Is that odd?  Or should we worry that some cards went missing?  I hate asking, but this seemed odd to us.

Re: uncomfortable question

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    edited December 2011
    this is going to sound mean although i don't intend for it to be. i think you should be grateful they came. times are tough for a lot of people i don't think you should be expecting gifts.
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    edited December 2011
    Are you talking about gifts or just cards?  Honestly- I usually send a gift off the registry, but don't usually include an extra card except for the note that came with the package if that makes sense...
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    edited December 2011
    I agree with pp.  Be thankful they took the time and spent the money to show up, rather than focus on the fact they did not get you a $0.99 card.On a similar note, I tend to forgo cards--be it b-day, wedding, baby shower, etc.--if I know I am going to show of for an event in the honor of the occasion.  Like I said, my presence seems more important than a card.  If I know I will absent from the event, then I'll send a card.
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    ChelseyparkerChelseyparker member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    My DH and I found it odd that we didn't get many cards/gifts either. Its not that we aren't greatful to the people who came and understand some people are strapped for money. However we had serveral guest we knew were well off and still didn't even get a card. SO I do hear what you are saying, it's not like we are being selfish just found it "odd" like you guys did.
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    edited December 2011
    I agree that it is a bit odd to not even leave a card.  I understand what pp have said, but I was also surprised that certain people did not leave so much as a card.  I would not worry that anything went missing.
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    amberlyroseamberlyrose member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I felt the same way about two guests. One of my uncles is a millionaire and we didn't get a card or gift, but I am so happy he showed up- he never goes to family functions. It just seemed odd to me that he didn't get us something though. We understood SIL is pretty poor right now, so we were happy she drove down from Denver and took off work for 3 days. I guess it just depends on the guest and their situation.
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    edited December 2011
    I realize my question sounded selfish, though I don't mean it that way at all.  It's not about gifts, just the thought.  I understand totally how it sounds to even mention it, but I just find it suprising how many people didn't even leave a congrats card or note.  I have never attended a wedding and not given a card or small token gift.  These are also people that are very well off, so it just suprised me.  I am going to send everyone a thank you card for coming.
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    cadenaamcadenaam member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I don't agree with most pp.  I think it's weird to go to a wedding and not even bring a card with nice well wishes and congratulations.  But that's just my opinion.  I would never go to a wedding without a card or a gift.  But that's just me.  Although, when I was younger, I would've-but not anymore.
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    edited December 2011
    So do you think I should worry that some cards went missing?  Our gift card box was a box with a top that opened, so who knows.  I hate thinking that way, but I will feel bad if someone put a card in there and we don't thank them for it since we didn't get it! 
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    cadenaamcadenaam member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Nope, I think that from all the pp it's common that people don't bring cards to weddings.   I'm sure that you received all the cards that were brought.
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    edited December 2011
    Ok, well thanks for everyone's input!  It's interesting to hear that this is common.  I just wanted to make sure that I wasn't rude and not thank them for something.  I guess what is regular etiquette for us is not the same for everyone :)
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    edited December 2011
    I agree that it is odd that people don't bring so much as a card to a wedding, but what I attribute this is bad planning on their part and waiting until the last minute to think about a gift and then opting not to get one, and planning on getting one later, which they forget about (of course!) You will more than likely get another card or two in the mail post wedding, but don't expect more than that. (Guys are more likely to do this than ladies)
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