Opinion on shower hostess gifts...

mouse10031978

I have read recently on here that it is proper etiquette to get a gift for those people that are hosting your shower (which I never knew). I am stuck on this for several reasons. I want to get everyone something, but just having trouble deciding if I should spend the extra money... I actually have these really cute umbrellas picked out- about $16.50 a piece plus shipping. Some background info: I am having two showers- one in home state thrown by both sisters and my mom. Then I am having one in the state where I currently live hosted by MOH. The one at home is a week and half away. I am excited to go, but I have a feeling it is going to be very chaotic b/c basically my mom and two sisters have been arguing and not communicating (like usual) over planning this shower, and have dragged me into it so I am somewhat stressed about it. In addition, we are way over budget for our entire wedding, as we are paying for everything and I am having trouble spending money on little extras that maybe are not necessary. Also, all of these people will be getting gifts at the rehearsal, as they are all in the wedding. I hope I don't sound rude- just deciding whether this is a necessary expenditure or not. Thanks. If it is, then I will definitely spend the money.

smallsmp8

Hi!! I say rather than giving small gifts along the way, decide how much you want to spend on each person contributing (mom, sisters, MOH, bridesmaids, groomsmen), and give them one gift each at the rehearsal dinner.   It's too much stress to be buying things and giving them after each little event (showers). This makes the most sense to me (and I am having two showers, too-one in my home state NJ and one here:) Good Luck!

VAtoCO

I think that hostess gifts are a really nice gesture, but I do not think that they need to be material things nor do they need to cost a lot of money.  I think that a heart-felt note thanking them would be sufficient, especially if they are aware of your budget constraints. That being said, I do think a small token is a nice gesture.  You mentioned umbrellas, are you going the "I hope your next shower is as nice as mine" route?  If you are, maybe consider a bottle of shower gel and a loofah.  You could probably do that for less than the cost of the umbrellas that you are looking at.

me2rean

Because so many people are helping with your shower, I would be inclined to write heartfelt notes, and if you have to get a small gift (something edible?). I'm sure they all know how appreciative you are, and I'm not sure umbrellas would really be a gift someone would do something with besides stuff it in the closet. Something homemade always strikes me as very thoughtful, and can be fairly cheap to make.

amberlyrose

I did $8 aspen leaf necklaces for my out-of-town hostesses. They appreciated the thought, but I think they cared more about the heartfelt cards I got them with the necklaces.

lauralou1192

I made lemon poppyseed bread for each one of my shower hostesses and wrote a nice note to them. All of them seemed touched that I did that and definitely knew I was greatful for all that they did. I think the Knot can make us all a little crazy at times, thinking we HAVE to go crazy with the themed stuff and the gifts for every last person who was remotely involved with our weddings and whatnot. While that stuff is nice, I think as long as your gratitude is from the heart, that is more than enough for people.

canary11

I felt this dilemma as well. I did not want to seem ungrateful, but I had 5 hostesses, so I had to be thrifty. I ended up getting them each one shower gel from B&BW. They even put the shower gels in individual cello bags and tied with a satin ribbon at the store for me. I put them in a basket and let them choose a favorite. "shower" gel for a shower? I thought it was clever and nice.