Guest list regrets

VAtoCO

Does anyone else have guest list regrets?I am so mad at myself for not standing up to my parents or my FI when they were making their guests lists or adding people here and there because we "have" to invite them.  Our invitation list ended up being about twice the number of people that I'd actually like to be at our wedding.  I think I can count on two hands how many of those people are "mine".And all those "they probably won't come" people on our list are, so far, COMING.  URGH!  I am so flippin mad at myself.  I know that  it won't matter if there are 80 people there or 160 people there....I'll be married to my FI at the end of the day and that's all that matters.  But, right now, I'm so mad at this situation that I helped create.ARGH!  Thanks for letting me vent

chelbell326

Fran,  Thats a bummer...sorry you are upset about it.   I agree with you that sometimes I get pissy about the fact that out of the 50 ppl. coming to our wedding only 3 of them are my immediate family & that FI's immediate family is 2/3 of the total guestlist b/c his siblings are so freaking fertile.  We have 10+ kids (nieces & nephews) coming in our 50 guests...when I'd originally wanted a no-kids wedding. Oh well...I've decided that to embrace the fact that the kids will be entertaining on the dance floor & they are all family, so we need to include them.     We were SO lucky that my parents 1) gave us a chunk of money & 2) told us we could do whatever we want.  They never said "you need to invite so & so"...my parents are awesome.  FI's mom on the other hand hasn't contribued a nickel (& rightfully so, she doesn't have to)... yet she keeps telling FI "you should invite so & so, & oh...invite this family, etc"  FI put the kabosh on that real quickly LOLAdvice for brides who are still in the beginning of planning:  We PURPOSELY chose a venue that had a very small capacity b/c we wanted a small intimate wedding & didn't want family dictating our guestlist.... we used the excuse that we didn't have room for additions to the guestlist which helped us keep our costs down & be able to provide a much nicer meal, venue, & all of the lodging for my family (since they are payin for the entire thing).Keep your chin up Fran! You can alway vent to us...we get it!

canary11

I can relate. I wanted a 100-person wedding and now it has ballooned so much that we're inviting 180ppl and kinda hoping for less than 150. Part of the reason also involves fi's office political situation. He had to invite a bunch of his superiors. Me? I ended up only inviting 3 friends from work.

april.munoz

I am so sorry that you are going through this too; I am going through EXACTLY the same thing! Outside of family, FI and I are inviting 20 people (out of 180) and all of the people we didn't want to invite, but did and didn't think would come are coming. Ugh! I have been so irritated at myself for the past 2 weeks! To the point where I have really started to resent my guests- even though it is really not their fault... I am starting to be more rational about it- it is only one night and it really is about marrying my FI, but like you said, I am really mad at the situation that I let happen. It will be ok... your wedding will be amazing and in 10 years you won't even think about how many people you hadn't anticipated being there. You will just think about how beautiful everything was and how much fun you had! :-)

coolcourt85

Fran, I had a dream about this last night from reading this post. I dreamt (sp?) that I had all these people on the list from highschool that i didn't even talk to anymore, but then when it came close to sending out invites I wanted to cross them off, but I had already sent them the save the date cards! It was weird. Anyways, whats done is done and don't fret over it now--there is nothing you can change. Just try and focus on how much fun your going to have at the wedding, or even better how awesome your honeymoon is going to be! Hang in there...

VAtoCO

Thanks, girls.  It is good to know that you can relate and I'm not the only one.  Misery loves company, right?

kelcon3

I have to admit, I felt the opposite way.  We made many cuts to get the list down and, in the end, we could have invited more because only about 60% of our responses were yes.  So....althought it may not be as intimate as you would have liked (and will be more expensive!) be thankful that so many people who want to be there for you and will be there to celebrate with you! 

chelbell326

kel-  thanks for putting it into perspective!

kjyoung9

Thanks for this post - we are a ways off from the wedding, but getting down to STDs and the point where we need to know the final invite count.  I had suggested FI and I go over the list one more time this weekend, and I'm glad we're doing so.  Btw, you have a great attitude, but I can understand needing to vent though!!

VAtoCO

Kel, ditto Chel, thanks for the perspective.  I really just needed to vent.kj - good for you for going over your list again with your FI.  My FI got really sucked in by "obligatory" invites (ie, he went to their wedding, we HAVE to invite them)...at the time, I didn't "fight" him on it and I regret that a little bit.