Feeling down/overwhelmed/frustrated...advice??

TIffany Caldwell

So I would much rather get advice from you local ladies cause I feel like you all are way more understanding and kind then most of the other forums.  So we are 45 days away from the wedding day and 1. I am so ready for it to just be over and not have to look at one more wedding thing ever again!!  2. We still haven't planned a honeymoon destination and after looking at beach destination I was in tears in the bathroom last night at the thought of being in public in a swim suit...seriously in tears sitting on the bathroom floor at 11 pm at night.  I am not fat and I know that on some level but I am excessively self conscious even though in May we ran a half marathon and on Sunday we hiked Gray's and Torrey's.  I am not in the best shape of my life but I don't want these self conscious feelings to ruin any prospects of a fun, relaxing, exciting honeymoon.  Where did you all go or are going??  (We want to go in November so that makes it hard too)  And do/did any of you have these fears or feelings and how do/did you deal with them?  Sorry for the rant I guess I just needed to put it on paper and I want advise from people who don't know me personally and can be more objective then say my sisters...  Thanks ladies! 

JessieR933

1. I had those feelings a month before my wedding. I was sick of planning and just wanted it to be here.  Now that is done, I am glad I do not have to plan another. So it is normal and you will make it through it. 

2. You have to stop worrying about how you look. It will be your honeymoon, and no one there will know who you are. Or you can get a swim suit that covers up what you do not like. I do a 40's style suit, and took away all my fears.

3. We went to Kauai, Hawaii. It was great!!! 

verdesiempre14

Groupon is now offering vacation packages - that might be worth checking out for some economical beach options.

After vacationing outside of the US, I totally thought of my beach body differently... we once took a trip to a resort in Playa del Carmen, Mexico...there were a handful of topless women on the resort beach and NONE of them could have been Victoria Secret Models any day...yet they relaxed with confidence and ease, as though they were alone in their own home.  And...plenty of guys in Speedos with a sizely belly. 

I also recommend creating a current to-do list...even if it's lengthy, it'll feel good to have a clear picture of what needs to get done.  From there, see if anything is worth crossing off the list entirely.  Handmade pew bows not worth it anymore?  Forget it and move on!  With what's left, consider what you're willing to delegate out to others, or do in collaboration with others.  Remember all the people that said, "Let me know if you need anything?" ... take 'em up on it!  Some will be happy to take a project home with them... others might be happy to fold programs and make place cards over cocktails or a movie. 

Best wishes (-:

jneelpsych88

I TOTALLY understand the feeling of being down/overwhelmed/frustrated and I am only in the early stages of planning so what you are feeling is absolutely normal!! Don't be too hard on yourself! Just remember that not everything can be perfect and if something does go wrong, it will still be a wonderful fabulous day for you and your future husband. He will love you despite whatever may happen. As for the honeymoon, your fiancee thinks you are beautiful!!!!! In his eyes, you are the best thing that ever happened to him and he will remember you in that beautiful dress and never want to take his eyes off you. Don't worry about anyone else. No one else matters. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!! Don't let anyone tell you different. :-) Hang in there. 

I am hoping to go to either Napa Valley, California for my honeymoon or Italy. Havent figured out budget yet. Have fun at the beach!!!

sakana1840

you will be hot on your HM no matter what! don't worry about what other people say cause you're just going to be doing it with your H by then! LOL, it's TRUE!!!

don't worry! your special day will be amazing

ajsk8ergirl

Hang in there! 

I am having a very short engagement and most of the things people talk about on my month board are things I'm not even batting an eye at. A lot of the details aren't significant and just waste money to me. But at the same time I get overwhelmed reading my month board because I think I need to be doing all these things and I stress out. 

But ditto on the checklist, look at your priorities rather then all the other people's priorities and slowly check them off. Or even delegate tasks. My Mom asked me what I needed help with still and I gave her my checklist and asked her to help me with all the sewing things I needed done still because she is good at sewing. 

And for the honeymoon, dont worry about it! I am getting married September 30th and I dont even have a honeymoon on my mind right now. We dont even have one booked! We are just focusing on the wedding right now and once that is over the FI will need to return to work. But I have asked him if we could consider planning a honeymoon in the next two years and especially before we have kids. 

I am also self concious about my body and I hate wearing my swimsuit. But honestly, when I'm with my FI I dont worry about how my body looks. I am mostly enjoying my time with him and he has that way of getting my mind off things and if I do worry, he reassures me by letting me know I'm beautiful. 

Hang in there, the end is in sight!

goodmanr

I am new on here and a ways away from my wedding, but wanted to respond to your post as its absolutely something I can relate to.  As much as we wish body image issues could be dealt with through logic or "knowing" we're not the way we see ourselves, most often they take a lot more work to deal with than that.  I understand wanting your honeymoon to be all fun and no worry-- especially no worry about something that can get you down so easily.

My biggest suggestion would be to consider a honeymoon where-- whether or not there is a beach-- there is a lot to do.  It's very different to lie on a beach just to tan, with little to distract you but wondering how you look lying there, and being on a beach that is absolutely full of activities.  If you're snorkling, sailing, water skiing, hiking, etc., you may be in a swimsuit, but that won't be where your mind is.  I don't know your budget, but consider places like Costa Rica or Austrailia (November would be a great time for Australia, right?), where lying on the beach is one option, but you're also surrounded by many more.  I, too, would suggest taking a look at Groupon Getaways or Living Social Escapes (but obviously make sure the resorts still have your date available before falling in love with one!)  Many of those come with a number of excursions, which will keep you having fun and focusing on a million things besides your body.

Good luck!

skantrowitz

I'm a little less than nine months away from my wedding, so i don't have any advice on the last minute panic. On the swimsuit topic-- if you just hiked two 14ers, I'm sure you look great! That said, feeling uncomfortable in a swimsuit is totally legitimate. Remember you don't have to go to a beach. I have had friends honeymoon in wine country, San Francisco, New York, and Vancouver BC; there's a lot of fun options that don't require a bikini!

TIffany Caldwell

Thank you Ladies!  It helps a lot to know that I am not alone in the stress of the last min details!  My biggest stress right now(other then my rediculous work schedule that turned out TERRIBLE for the month of Sept) is just making a schedule for the day of and before for everyone without being a 'bridezilla' if you will.  But the more I think about it the less I think it will come across as bridezilla and more as organization and my sister has offered to help put a schedule together when I see her this next week so I am already feeling better about that stuff!  Thanks for all of the other suggestions I think we are going to start planning more of a "Adventure Honeymoon" somewhere fun like many of you said (we aren't much for laying around anyway so that will be more fun for us both!)  I truely appreciate all of the encouragement and kind words you ladies ROCK!