Guest List DILEMA!

DJValdez

So I have a wedding list dilema I have written my list and my fiances then I ask my mom to write her list of family that i may have forgotten and her close freinds. Well after combining our lists the number of guests comes up to a little over 400 people. . I really want an outside weddinga and we found a beautiful venue for a  wonderful price !  Here is my Dilema the venue I choose its maximum capacity is 225. Does anyone have any suggest that may either help me cut down my list wihout feeling guilty or any wedding venues in DENVER COLORADO that are outside venues that seat a good amount of guests, alos does anyone have any suggestions on catering because with that many guests im sure that bill will be quite a bit.

So I guess I am just looking for advice on big weddings and staying pretty well budgeted and or tips on how to downsize :?

Heywhitney

I hate to tell you this but that's huge amount of guests that few outdoor venues are going to be able to accomodate.  I can think of a few venues in Denver, like Mile High Station, the Cable Center, Denver Center of Performing Arts, that would have space for that many guests, but I can't think of any outside venues in Denver limits.

When I was looking there was one outdoor venue that could accomodate that many guests, but it's in Larkspur....about 1 hr south of Denver.  It's called Crooked Willow Farms and it's gorgeous!  We wanted to book it but it was a little out of our price range.  Plus it was a little too big for our guest list of 100 people.

Here's the link : http://crookedwillowevents.com/

My suggestion to you is to bite the bullet and cut your guest list.  This is a time for you to celebrate with your closest family and friends...not people you don't even know but are best friends with your aunt etc.  We only had 100 people at our wedding but if I had to do it again, I would cut the list by half and only have had family and close friends.  It was kinda annoying to have to make the rounds and make nice with people you didn't even know and in the end I was wishing some of the people weren't there.
What we did is have an engagement party at my mother's house and didn't limit the guest list at that get together.  For the wedding we were more selective.  People will understand, and if they don't, than they shouldn't be at your wedding anyway because they don't have your best interest at heart!

P.S  I was told by a number of brides to expect that 20% of those invited would not attend.  With my wedding I found that to be true... We invited 120 and only 100 RSVP'd that they would come.  But that's a gamble if you plan that people won't attend.

Good luck!

ajsk8ergirl

I'd definately sit down with your FI and both of your families and work on cutting your guest list if you are set on the venue you have picked out. 

400 guests is a lot and a lot of people would tell you they wished they had a smaller wedding. Some friends of mine had 500 guests at their wedding!! And they said they wished they had about 100 so they could interact with everyone and actually know everyone that was there. 

It also depends on your budget too. If you have money to blow, I guess it doesnt really matter, you would just need to find a different venue. But if the budget matters, one of the biggest suggestions is cutting the guest list. 

Both my FI and I picked people we have talked to in the last year and know would be happy and want to celebrate our marriage with us, and we invited our family members (grandparents, aunts, uncles, and first cousins) and the friends our parents invited one or the other knows the friends. So everyone at our wedding, one or the other will know the person. We wont be having the awkward...um babe do you know that person? stuff going on. 

Another tip would be limit your +1 on the invitations. On my invitations I allowed my bridal party to bring their siginifcant others and the friends who are living with their significant others to bring their dates. Otherwise they didnt have a +1, most of the friends who didnt have a +1 werent in relationships or just newly in a realtionship that we didnt know their significant other very well. If they asked, we looked at our guest numbers and budgets and let them bring their +1. 

I'm estimating that 60%-70% of my guest list will be coming to the wedding. A lot of the guests on my side are from out of town, so far I've had a half and half on the yes-no ratio on my side for RSVPs. 

Good Luck!

For venues...if you are willing to expand out of Denver, there are several options that are budget friendly if you are wanting the, just let me know!

steffenfam

For my daughter's wedding, we are allowing 65 for our guests, 65 for in-laws guests and 65 for bride/groom guests (their list includes the wedding party & guests).  My suggestion for you is to come up with a logical number that you can reasonably work with and divide by 3, like we did. 

Then look at your lists and determine a) those who MUST be invited; b) those you'd LIKE to invite; and c) those that should MAYBE be invited.  Cut the Maybes and then start whittling down the Likes.  The guest list is one of the toughest parts of planning the wedding.  Good luck!

P.S. When we started putting our list together, we started with 103, and had to whittle down to 60-65.  It can be done!

[Deleted User]

I did my bridal shoot at Crooked Willow Farms, It's gorgeous.

I don't have any real advice on whittling down a guest list of 400, other than to agree with PPs.  Just thinking about hosting a wedding that size makes me feel a little anxious.  I think you'd be much happier with a smaller guest list.

mizjodi

Cut the list! Not every person you or your parents have known since first grade needs to be invited!

I agree with the PPs, decide the total you'd like, split that fairly (personally I think the B&G should have half, if they're paying, and each set of parents a quarter), and whittle from there.

If neither of you have met someone, or you haven't seen someone in more than a year (with reasonable exceptions of course), then you cut them! You'll be very happy when you do, and things will be so much easier all around!

And DON'T send out STDs (if you're going to do those; IMO they're a waste) until the list is finalized!

[Deleted User]

Wow that is allot of people. I would definitely cut down your guest list before you start looking at venues. We are having around 100 people and its going to be pretty expensive. I can't imagine what it would be for 400 people! Get a total number you want then split it between both you and your FI family. Good Luck

nickcrys

The best thing that helped me cut my  guest list down was to assign everyone a letter, either A, B or C. A's were top priority (immediate family and close mutual friends). B's were people we would like to be there (extended family and friends) and C's were the list of people that we didn't think needed to be there but it would be nice. In making the list we decided that if both my FI and I didn't know the person personally, they were on the C list or the cut list with very few exceptions (I have a cousin that I'm pretty close to that is in the military that my FI has not met yet). My mom had people on the list that I hadn't ever met even like her cousins that she was close to when she was a kid... no reason they need to be at my wedding. We are sending the A's and most of the B's invitations in a first round... then as RSVPs come in we have the option to include the C's in a second round if some of the first rounders can't make it. If you can't cut the list no matter what... start looking for large outdoor venues (farms and ranches) and be prepared to spend a lot of money. 

jesshar

WOW for me I was freaking out over my 75!!!!!!! Good luck.

michellenaomi81

Oh man! I'm worried and my guest list is at 225. We're getting married at Mile High Station, I had to just forgo the outdoor wedding ceremony I wanted BUT I fell in love with MHS when I walked in so I knew it was for me.

If it's within your budget I highly recommend Crooked Willow Farms. Yes it's an hour away from Denver but they work with hotels in the Tech Center and I know one of the gals that works for Table 6 Productions who does weddings there every weekend and they are amazing. 

Good Luck!