Issues with the Bar

wolfdancer024

My FH and I had hoped to have enough money to put at least $500 toward the bar tab at our venue (once the $500 was spent the bar would switch to a cash bar), things have gotten tight and now we don't think we can put money towards the bar at all.  Is it tacky to have a 100% cash bar? 

sakana1840

depends on who you talk to, some people would say yes

but i say no, you wanna drink, you pay for it

plus, if it saves you money....then it's worth it

mizjodi

If you can't afford to have a hosted bar, it'd be much better to just skip it entirely. Or, push the wedding back until you CAN afford everything you want. You're not obligated to serve alcohal. Or, see what you can work out with your venue. But stick to what you can afford, and skip all else.

Yes, it's tacky to expect people to pay at your party.

HTH and GL!

wolfdancer024

What about doing a 1 hour cocktail hour (between ceremony and reception) and then a cash bar after that?  I would rather not have a dry wedding and I also feel that if you're coming to get drunk, then we should not foot your drink bill.  We are getting married in Genesee and I would like people to have a few drinks, but not get smashed and drive down the mountain.  Open bar = drink as much as you possibly can, but a drink hour or two and then a cash bar = a more conservative attitude towards your alcohol limit I would assume.  I've gotten conflicting answers regarding this...oh the frustration!  We've already eliminated quite a bit of the things we wanted so that we can actually get married (we've postponed once already - dont want to postpone any longer).  I've heard about people doing drink tickets, has anyone else done this and if so...how does it work?  Do they get drink tickets at the door (our venue offers drink tickets, but I thought that may be more tacky than a cash bar)....:::sigh:::  I'd hate to break some "golden rule of ettiquette", but we can only afford so much.

chelbell326

as a prior post mentioned, you will hear all sorts of different answers.

I am in the camp of "cash bar = tacky".  I wouldn't invite friends over to my house for a dinner party & then charge them for a glass of wine...so why would it be any different at my wedding?  We hosted an open bar and wouldn't have done it any other way.  I wouldn't expect my guests to have to pay for anything during our reception (they spent enough flying in & staying in hotels to attend our wedding)

catarntina

With my own family, having a cash bar would be instant wedding suicide.  I'm German Catholic, marrying an Irish Catholic -- yeah.  We're big drinkers.  I pretty much had to get an open bar, or nobody would show up (thankfully the caterer I found in Ohio -- where I'm actually getting married -- had the open bar included with the price of food).  My cousin got married a while back, and did not have an open bar until 9pm out of respect for her husband's family.  My family did not even show up till 9pm...

However, if I were going to a wedding I would not be offended if it were a cash bar for alcohol. Now, I would be offended if I had to pay for soda -- soda should always be free.  I think it would be unacceptable to expect people to come with a gift, and then say they can only drink water or they had to shell out more money.

wolfdancer024

I'm right there with Sakana on this I think.  Our original plan was to have about $500 towards the open bar and then it would be an exclusive cash bar after the $500 was up.  My thought was, if you want to get drunk, then you can do it on your own dime.  All of our guests are local, so the flying in and paying for a hotel isn't an issue for us.  Everyone lives within about 20-30min. of the venue.  Two to three drinks per person (soda galore for those who want it) in my mind was more than enough.  I guess I'll keep asking around and see what other people have to say and see what other people have been able to do....with 70 days to go, I just can't keep my mind on one thing...so much to do still!  I sure can't wait for all of this stuff to be over ) 

wolfdancer024

PS - thank you all for your thoughts and opinions.  I'd be a bumbling fool if it weren't for this message board!

charlsie26

Is there a way you can do only wine and beer? Buy so much of that till its gone?

hillarl

I would not worry about the bar, do what you can afford. This is not a reason to postpone your wedding. I have been to quite a few weddings where there was wine and beer to a certain limit and all other alcoholic drinks were cash. You could place a couple bottles of wine on each table during dinner. Or you could just have the Champagne toast. Our venue only allows beer, wine and champagne. So we are doing a Keg or two of his favorite beer and then my favorite wine.