Bachellorette Party Woes

chelsea1110

So my MOH sent out an e-mail a few days ago just to feel everyone out and see if they were going to be able to come and if the plans sounded good to them. We had planned on having dinner then taking a limo from where we live (30 minutes south of Seattle) to downtown Seattle. Once in Seattle we were going to hit up a few bars then go to a burlesque show followed by some more bar hoping if we wanted. The costs for everything is about $100 per person for the limo and show tickets. Does this seem too much for anyone?

I am kind of irritated but I may be unjustly so. My cousin (BM) and my friend Janson (gay bff) who is also my offciant, immediatly responded with saying it was too much and they weren't sure if they were going to come. They pretty much made my MOH feel horrible and that she was asking too much. Then my FSIL and my fiance's brother's GF both e-mailed and said that they couldn't go because brother's GF has a concert that night and FSIL was supposed to babysit.

I am only invivitng like 11 people and those 4 people are some of the most important to me I am feeling kind of hurt and bummed and feel like canceling the whole thing. I am sure I will change my mind but I guess I am just looking for an outside perspective on the whole thing.

lvissers

I think that price is reasonable as long as your MOH gave everyone notice and heads up about the pricing ahead of time so your friends could prepare and budget accordingly. if the price is just coming out a few days prior to the event, then that's probably not the best move on yuor MOH to just assume. 

Is that price similar to other bachelorette parties youve gone on with your circle of friends?
 

ILoveToRobot

I don't think it's too much personally but that doesn't mean other people have the means to pay $100. Is there anyway you can tweak the plans a little to bring the cost down? Did you ask the friends who said they would decline what budget they have?

BTW what burleque show are you going to?

chelsea1110

That's why she was sending out the e-mail now. The party isn't until June 23rd. I haven't been to any b-parties other than my MOH and her sister paid for everything. I talked to some other people though and they all seemed to think it was reasonable.

bridetobe71412

None of us can tell you whether or not that's a "reasonable" amount to expect people to pay. For some people, that's exorbitant for a night on the town. For others, it's a drop in the bucket.

In your case, since so many people are already saying it's kind of on the expensive side, and those are the "important" ones, could you size down your plans? For example, forego the show and maybe just do the limo? Or not the limo at all and just go out dancing?

I think the important part about bach parties is being with your nearest and dearest and having a night on the town. If many of my friends said they couldn't come to my bach party because it was too pricey, I'd scale down my plans. I'd rather my important people be around me than have some elaborate event. 

Just my opinion, though.  

Edited to add: I don't think your MOH should feel too bad about this. Since she was just testing the waters, she can just email everyone and be like, "Let's do something different/smaller then. Any suggestions?" and then get people's ideas for what they're willing/able to do.

Hallanole

I just went to my first bachelorette last weekend. Because there was only 5 in attendance we dropped the limo from the agenda. The MOH drove us in her mini van. Lol.

I brought a total of $100 with me for the night. For me as I'm on an extreme budget planning my own wedding, this was a lot. Out of the 100, I gave $20 to the MOH for gas and parking, as did two other girls. I bought the bride a drink that at the first place cost $10 for my drink and her shot was $10. Another $20 gone.

I think, that your MOH should feel out what others like. My MOH took a list of everything I liked, and hated and they girls all devised a secret agenda for my Bach that could be affordable.

Not to play complete devil's advocate, but.....
I can kind of understand how they see it. This is $100 out before even getting to dinner and drinks costs.

Rebis58

I agree with Bridetobe and Hallanole completely, and just want to add that regardless of my opinion, or anyone else's, obviously $100 ISN'T reasonable, or your friends wouldn't say it's too expensive...

The plan your MOH came up with sounds fabulous - and if you want to go ahead with it, do it! I'm sure you'll have a blast with those who can make it. If it is important for you that EVERYONE attend, I'd adjust the plans.

ajmom2two

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_bachellorette-party-woes?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:7b9513eb-0087-4ff6-953c-d1b96a78e6dfPost:9c972f4b-220c-4e21-827d-d4e6d0338d83">Re: Bachellorette Party Woes</a>:
[QUOTE]I agree with Bridetobe and Hallanole completely, and just want to add that regardless of my opinion, or anyone else's, obviously $100 ISN'T reasonable, or your friends wouldn't say it's too expensive... The plan your MOH came up with sounds fabulous - and if you want to go ahead with it, do it! I'm sure you'll have a blast with those who can make it. If it is important for you that EVERYONE attend, I'd adjust the plans.
Posted by Rebis58[/QUOTE]

This^^^

michelle11988

It sounds like an amazing plan, but it sounds like it is too expensive for your friends.  You know your friends and their budgets/life styles and if this is actually affordable or not for them.  In my tight budget, that seems like a lot for a night on the town, since that's $100 before walking out the door really.  If you want everyone there, then make other arrangements, it sounds like you have time to do so.

NikkiF731

In my opinion that isn't a terrible price but as pp said, it obviously is alot/difficult for your friends. If you want to go with your plans though, they sound awesome and as long as you have some people with you, it should be a great time. It's up to you really whether it's gun or not.

Melissa.hylton

The price is A LOT! Think about it. Not everyone has $100 laying around for a limo and bars. If you make the limo optional cool. But I wouldnt pay that much and I wouldnt expect anyone to pay that much either. 

littlemoments324

I really think $100 is A LOT...I agree with bride & Hallnole as well.  I would scale it down so that others are able to be a part of the fun...

BmoreBride311

I agree that your MOH should not feel terrible in the slightest. She was just testing the waters, and there is still plenty of time to come up with a different plan.

I found out after my bachelorette (of which all of the plans were kept secret from me) that something similar happened with the planning. My BMs wanted to do a spa outing before going out, but that was going to add about $50 per person, which was too much for some of the girls on top of going out to dinner, going out drinking, and renting a hotel in downtown DC, plus chipping in on the costs for decorating the hotel room etc.. So, my MOH suggested to do a "spa theme" in the hotel room as part of the pre-partying. All the girls brought nail polish and other fun spa and make-up stuff, and then the girls gave me a makeover and everyone did each other's nails and make-up. It was really fun and a lot cheaper than going to a spa for treatments.

I'm sure your MOH and other friends can come up with an alternative plan that fits with ppl's budgets a bit better. It will work out!

Hallanole

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_bachellorette-party-woes?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:7b9513eb-0087-4ff6-953c-d1b96a78e6dfPost:f30971b4-1363-40b1-83b9-3cfa9c134a43">Re: Bachellorette Party Woes</a>:
[QUOTE]I agree that your MOH should not feel terrible in the slightest. She was just testing the waters, and there is still plenty of time to come up with a different plan. I found out after my bachelorette (of which all of the plans were kept secret from me) that something similar happened with the planning. My BMs wanted to do a spa outing before going out, but that was going to add about $50 per person, which was too much for some of the girls on top of going out to dinner, going out drinking, and renting a hotel in downtown DC, plus chipping in on the costs for decorating the hotel room etc.. So, my MOH suggested to do a "spa theme" in the hotel room as part of the pre-partying. All the girls brought nail polish and other fun spa and make-up stuff, and then the girls gave me a makeover and everyone did each other's nails and make-up. It was really fun and a lot cheaper than going to a spa for treatments. I'm sure your MOH and other friends can come up with an alternative plan that fits with ppl's budgets a bit better. It will work out!
Posted by BmoreBride311[/QUOTE]

That is a great idea of flipping to the spa theme.

butterflyjumper1

I agree with everything bridetobe said. In my circle, it is common to spend 100, 200, - I have even spend more like 300-400 on a bach party. in other circles, people like to spend practically nothing. 

the party I went to last weekend cost everyone $45 plus drinks. The bridal party cooked dinner for us, we each pitched in $30 for the trolley, and then it was $15 for the drag show. 

I think it was smart of your MOH to send out the email now to make sure no one would have issues with the cost. The people who have trouble with the $100 sound like they are ones that NEED to be there for you. 

Maybe you guys could make things cheaper by doing a pitch in dinner? the burlesque show sounds like a lot of fun and like a great idea for a bachelorette party. Perhaps if you guys cooked dinner at your friend's place, then just took cabs out to the show and to the bars, that could save everyone some money. 

mbody

If your priority is to have everyone attend, then I'd suggest to your MOH to ask for people's budget for the party. What is perfectly reasonable to spend to one person, might not be to another. Then she can go from there and either come up with a new plan or alter the original to make it more affordable.

Maybe someone can drive the group instead of taking a limo? Personally, I'd rather drive the group (and not drink) and see my friend (the bride) have an awesome time with everyone over scrapping the idea. Then that way there is no limo cost.

I'm assuming your MOH called a few different limo companies to price compare. But, if not, I'd do that.

Can your MOH called the burlesque show and ask about any group deals/rates? That could be worth a try. Are there any other attractions in Seattle that might be more affordable than the Burlesque show? Comedy club? Piano bar?

bells24412

I think everyone's budget is different 100$ may not be expensive to some, but for others it's hard.

I personally went to a bachelorette party that costs with tickets and everything 100$ and I didn't think it was a big deal, but some of her friends did. So it all depends on the person and their finances.

chelsea1110

Thank you everyone for your input. To clarify, I understand that it is expensive for some people. Maybe I wasn't clear but only 2 people are potentially not going because of the price. The other two were not coming because of some plans. I was more so just asking what was "normal" in your groups. 

The limo was optional, she laid out the price per event so that people could opt out of parts if it was too expensive. As many of you suggested we most likely will drop the limo because of the price, especially if some people can't come the cost would be way too much per person. I also forgot to mention that the show tickets included a $25 food/drink credit so it helped with the cost of the entire night.

Most likely I will end up going to dinner with a select few and whoever wants to can join us throughout the night.