Wedding Day Timeline

spanglerwedding2012

I have 2 possible options...What would you choose?

Option 1 -

1:30- 2:15 - Church Ceremony
2:15- 2:30- Recieving Line
2:30-5:00 Pictures for Bridal Party
2:30 - Guests Drive to hotel (30 mins)
3:00 - Guests Check in
3:00-4:30 - Guests have light refreshments/Mingle, Relax
4:45 - Shuttle arrives to hotel to take guests to reception
5:00 - 6:00 - Cocktail Hour
6:00-10 - Reception

OR

Option 2:

Wedding Day:
5:30 - Shuttle Transports Guests from hotel to reception
6:00 - Outdoor ceremony for friends and family at Knowlton Mansion
6:30 - Cocktail Hour
6:30 - 7:30 - Bridal Party takes pictures
7:30 -11:30 Reception
*After wedding day, have a small private ceremony w/family only to have marriage recognized by church.

FI family is very religious so skipping church is not an option. 50% of guests are OOT - which is why I'm trying to prevent the gap of time. If church, will provide transportation + refreshments at hotel (bar does not open until 5pm) or suggest local bar to go to. Positives to the other option - No gap, save $ on trans, save time w/photog, more convenient, etc.

ooodsie

I'm not sure I understand the private church ceremony and then a public one the next day?  So you would basically be already married the night before if you did that?  ... when I go to weddings, I go for both the ceremony and reception - I like to see the couple say "I do" .. I wouldn't cut that out for friends just because you assume they don't want to have down time in between.  

spanglerwedding2012

I didn't explain that very well, Sorry. Option 2 is just the same (ceremony and reception) only both at one location. The ceremony would be in the gardens of the reception site. However, my in-laws are not OK with outdoor ceremonies alone due to their faith - So we were thinking we would have a very small ceremony for family only either before or after our "wedding day" to have it recognized by the Church (We wouldn't do the bridesmaids, wedding gown, etc. Just a very short religious ceremony). That way, we could have everything in one location, save time, $$. But still please everyone.

jelybeancg

I am personally not a fan of two ceremonies. I feel like you cheat your guests who are spending a lot of time and money to travel and give you a gift to see you get married. At the second ceremony you will not be getting married, you will already be married. Putting on a second fake ceremony is also sort of insulting to your guests. 

I realize how much you are struggling with the gap. Is there any way your venue will let you push up cocktail hour to 3pm? Yes, you won't exactly be having a traditional night wedding but you will eliminate the gap. Have you tried different churches? Ours allows for a 2:30 ceremony. What about having your civil ceremony at the venue and then later having your marriage blessed by the church?

Edited because you clarified while I was posting I think it is a much better option to have your marriage recognized after by the church than to have a ceremony at your venue after you are already married.

spanglerwedding2012

Jelybean - That's a good idea. I guess that's what we're trying to do. Have the civil ceremony w/everyone but have it blessed privately as well. Perhaps we could have it blessed after instead of before so we don't feel like we're cheating anyone.

There is no way we can change church time - we've contacted so many. The only ones available in the area are 1 and 1:30. Reception time is non-negotiable as well, we've tried moving that up.

The other idea we had was to take guests on transportation on a little "city tour" to take up time. (Drive through city, point out landmarks, etc on the way back to hotel/reception site). But again, more $$. I just feel like it's just such a long gap, esp. for out of towners.

jelybeancg

Yes, the gap does stink. If the FIL's really put up a stink you would be doing the right thing by hosting refreshments in between but all of that transportation is costly. And a city tour sounds costly too. It is unfortunate you can't push the times in on either side.
If everyone is ok with just blessing the marrigae later I would do that.

And is it that they have to have it be Catholic? Because if it is just a church they are worried about my friend got married at another denomination church at 5pm on a Saturday. It wasn't their church or even their religion. They just felt like people should be married in a church so they picked one and the minister was very understanding.

rockstarnat

So I said the 2nd option because of a few reasons. 

I hear ya on the OOT, I would be worried about that too. especially since most OOTers will be without a car, I assume. I don't know where they are staying, but there usually are coffee shops, bars, etc near them to be able to entertain themselves, but they are there for you and your day. 

I also like the idea of the church ceremony being just family and intimate, since it seems to be meaningful to you and your family. The ceremony is supposed to start your life together, joining families, so it is fitting to be just y'all. 

nat

spanglerwedding2012

Thanks for the input. The ceremony would have to be Catholic so it would be day off ceremony or small private after the fact. I could go either way. Honestly, I just want the day to be as hassle free as possible. Having 2.5 hours for pictures will be fine for us but it's a long time for out of town guests to entertain themselves.

Having both ceremony and reception in one location is ideal for convenience w/vendors, guests. Everyone tells me not to worry, people will wait. But I know SO many people that have gone to weddings w/gaps and then complain "I had to wait blah blah blah" ... that's just the last thing I want. I'm torn.

mana8503

I just went to a wedding as a OOT guest, ceremony at 2, reception started at 5.  We checked into our room, FI took a nap while I watched tv.  It was a nice down time from driving 2 hours.  Then we got up and went to the reception.  It was totally fine! 

honestly it's totally expected for a Catholic wedding in my book. 

spanglerwedding2012

Thanks Mana. You do bring up a good point. I think I was just worried because I'm not Catholic and not many guests on my side (all out of towners) are Catholic so they aren't used to the gap. I think I'll just get a hospitality room at hotel for them to mingle at in between rather than change my plans.

[Deleted User]

BP is having a blessing now before her baby is born.

I say have the blessing after the wedding.  

ev4149

I had a large gap because we had a Catholic ceremony.  The Catholic ceremony was extremely important to me.  Honestly, we had about half of the people skip church because of the gap.  I didn't care.  The important people were there, and having the ceremony in Church was important to me.  That's just my two cents though.