this is awkward, but I am curious....

butterflyjumper1

Is anyone else taking a (ahem) "break" with their fiance and having an extended period of abstinence before the wedding?

one of my best friends (and one of my BMs actually) did this with her fiance for the three months prior to the wedding, and while it kind of sucked for her at the time (she was SUPER grumpy during those three months!), she said it made the honeymoon extra special and fun for them. They lived together and had been together for about 6 years so she said it was an awesome thing for them to do and she recommends it to everyone.

After my fiance heard about what my BM did....he wants to do it too. I was shocked but it's cute to me that he thinks it would make our HM extra special, so I can't say no to him.! He wants to do 100 days worth.  That would mean we would be starting in...two days. eep. 

YuMMMy721

We are. We both decided that we would stop on June 1st. So its a little less thatn 2 months (wedding is July 21). I am hoping it makes things a little extra special on our honeymoon!! I am thinking it will... I have heard from other people that if you just stop all together it just becomes routine not to do anything, so might actually make your honeymoon seem akward. So contiue to kiss and play and stuff... just don't go all the way, and then you will be sooo ready to go all the way the night of your wedding, it'll be amazing and special!!

arunkumar

Ahh I don't think I could do that. Since FI and I live together, it would be extremely hard. I do think it's cute though.

bridetobe71412

OMG. I WAS GOING TO ASK THIS EXACT SAME QUESTION!

Yes, we are. Fiance wanted to do SIX MONTHS but I was like, Are you actually insane? So, we're doing 3 months, which just passed this past Saturday, but we extended it a day because he had to work on Saturday night. So, I'm officially in abstinence mode.

I am NOT looking forward to this, but it does kind of mean a lot to us. We live together too and I don't think anyone is under the impression we haven't *ahem* but I really think it's a good idea!

LADY324

I don't believe in breaks

bells24412

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_this-is-awkward-but-i-am-curious?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:843fff2f-4cc5-4fb5-bedf-8801d450c090Post:59123c8b-0f3e-4377-91bc-277ee63f867a">Re: this is awkward, but I am curious....</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>I don't believe in breaks ;)
</strong>Posted by LADY324[/QUOTE]

HAHAHA, DITTO what Lady said....

mekiakoo

I brought up this idea and FI thought I was crazy. But we haven't been doing it much lately- we've been so busy and stressed with the house stuff, work, wedding planning. I hate that we're too tired to do anything at the end of the day. But at this rate maybe this will be easier to just stop completely until our wedding night!

dawnleanna1

Omg no way. I get upset after 2 days of no sex lol. That kind of closeness is really important to me.

colleenm18

We have not discussed this and I doubt we will do it.  We are already on such opposite schedules that it doesn't happen enough as it is!  Thank god FI busy season is over in the next month so we can get things back on track hahaha.

dramaqueen91087

I'm not planning on it. However, my guess is I will be so crazy the week or two before the wedding that I won't want to anyway! I'm pretty sure FI would go crazy if we did this lol.

butterflyjumper1

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_this-is-awkward-but-i-am-curious?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:843fff2f-4cc5-4fb5-bedf-8801d450c090Post:0addd90e-58f8-457a-bf67-b107b7eb3b43">Re: this is awkward, but I am curious....</a>:
[QUOTE]OMG. I WAS GOING TO ASK THIS EXACT SAME QUESTION! Yes, we are. Fiance wanted to do <strong>SIX MONTHS</strong> but I was like, Are you actually insane? So, we're doing 3 months, which just passed this past Saturday, but we extended it a day because he had to work on Saturday night. :) So, I'm officially in abstinence mode. I am NOT looking forward to this, but it does kind of mean a lot to us. We live together too and I don't think anyone is under the impression we haven't *ahem* but I really think it's a good idea!
Posted by bridetobe71412[/QUOTE]

SIX MONTHS!!! omg your fiance is insane, hahaha! I think it is cute that it was both of our fiance's who brought it up and set the time periods!

I am glad I am not the only one who is taking the break (and I am glad you are all don't think I am insane for making this thread). If I progressively get grumpier after Thursday, you guys will know why! 

We have the rest of our lives together, so to me, the idea of a short break is sweet and will hopefully make things a little extra special!

bridetobe71412

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_this-is-awkward-but-i-am-curious?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:843fff2f-4cc5-4fb5-bedf-8801d450c090Post:666ba8ee-92f1-41b5-bc98-8ed3d73b1901">Re: this is awkward, but I am curious....</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: this is awkward, but I am curious.... : SIX MONTHS!!! omg your fiance is insane, hahaha! I think it is cute that it was both of our fiance's who brought it up and set the time periods! I am glad I am not the only one who is taking the break (and I am glad you are all don't think I am insane for making this thread). If I progressively get grumpier after Thursday, you guys will know why!  We have the rest of our lives together, so to me, the idea of a short break is sweet and will hopefully make things a little extra special!
Posted by butterflyjumper1[/QUOTE]

hahaha totally. I may get REALLY grumpy soon! Oh well. I will channel my energy into the gym. :)

toomanychoices17

We probably won't.  Talked about it a while ago and we can both see both sides- the pro of making the honeymoon more special but the con of not feeling as close pre-wedding/being grumpy.  I guess we don't feel strongly enough about to follow through!  I think I would be okay for a week or two pre-wedding, but not the day before the wedding- I know I'm going to be stressed about all the last minute details the day before and anything that can help me de-stress is a good idea, for the benefit of everyone haha. So since I pretty much know I won't be able to stick to it the day before the wedding, I don't know if there's a point.

I am seriously impressed with all of you with enough willpower to take a break while living together!

lvissers

Well I'm a virgin so...haha just kidding!

I've thought about it and maybe a couple weeks of no sexy time, but I don't know if I could do longer than that. I think 2 weeks would still be enough to make it extra special the night of the wedding and honeymoon.

ceglare4

I've thought about this too and really don't think it'd be that tough. haha this is kind of embarrassing to admit but FI and I really don't "ahem" very often. We are both so busy with work, working out, wedding planning, and now dance lessons that we don't have a lot of time to do it when we'd just rather sleep. haha it sounds so bad. I think I've mentioned waiting for a certain period of time to FI before but the conversation never really went anywhere. Probably because we aren't doing it multiple times a week!

k8888

FI and I don't live together so as soon as we close on the house, we're going to burn all of our clothes since we won't need them anymore.

Also, 3 months of no sex is so easy if you're both busy. 

bridetobe71412

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_this-is-awkward-but-i-am-curious?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:843fff2f-4cc5-4fb5-bedf-8801d450c090Post:7c72160c-feee-4e75-99e1-ac33be71ab49">Re: this is awkward, but I am curious....</a>:
[QUOTE]FI and I don't live together so as soon as we close on the house, <strong>we're going to burn all of our clothes since we won't need them anymore.</strong> Also, 3 months of no sex is so easy if you're both busy. 
Posted by k8888[/QUOTE]

BAHAHAHAHA.

And yes. When you're busy, it's not that difficult. Recently we've been once-a-week so it's not that hard to hold off for like 12 weekends. Well, now that I say it THAT way, it actually does sound like a lot. Ugh.

LADY324

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_this-is-awkward-but-i-am-curious?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:843fff2f-4cc5-4fb5-bedf-8801d450c090Post:7c72160c-feee-4e75-99e1-ac33be71ab49">Re: this is awkward, but I am curious....</a>:
[QUOTE]FI and I don't live together so as soon as we close on the house, <strong>we're going to burn all of our clothes since we won't need them anymor</strong>e. Also, 3 months of no sex is so easy if you're both busy. 
Posted by k8888[/QUOTE]

Lol ready 50 shades of grey and you guys can get some good ideas ;)

This sounds so bad but we kind of have a set schedule.  We always have sex, sat/sun (hey its the weekend) and always wednesday for hump day :)  Anything more is a bonus!!  Sometimes FI can catch me in a frisky mood.  I walk around the house a lot with just a t-shirt and underwear on when I am getting ready for work or bed so it's kind of hard for him to not to want to always jump my bones.  I have to fight FI off with a stick if I am not in the mood.  I don't think FI is never not in the mood.  He is fiesty :)

BeabullMom

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_this-is-awkward-but-i-am-curious?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:843fff2f-4cc5-4fb5-bedf-8801d450c090Post:7c97ee67-4860-4b2d-8f1b-299f03f4bb36">Re: this is awkward, but I am curious....</a>:
[QUOTE]I've thought about this too and really don't think it'd be that tough. haha this is kind of embarrassing to admit but FI and I really don't "ahem" very often. We are both so busy with work, working out, wedding planning, and now dance lessons that we don't have a lot of time to do it when we'd just rather sleep. haha it sounds so bad. I think I've mentioned waiting for a certain period of time to FI before but the conversation never really went anywhere. Probably because we aren't doing it multiple times a week!
Posted by ceglare4[/QUOTE]

Laurel we are the same way.  I feel bad about it sometimes, but he works nights, and I work days and we are tired at different times...so it doesn't happen as often as we'd like.

penny12986

Nope, no breaks here either.  We already know what it's like to have sex so we don't really see the point and we don't think this kind of thing would work for us.
 
Plus, with all of the stress going on around us in these last few months before the wedding, we have earned this release!

Skyjewell23

We are! 

Since we are moving into our new home June 1st and Fi wants to... well "break in" the house lol we are starting June 14th. That's 1 month exactly. Anymore than this and I think I would probably be very grumpy as well!

My best friend did 3 months and said it hurt like h*ll on her honeymoon and recommended me to not do that.

butterflyjumper1

I see it this way: 

Say you decide to give up chocolate cake for 6 months, and then after all that time, when you give in and eat a slice of it, it tastes really, really, REALLY good - better than it normally would, if you ate it every week (or multiple times a week).  That scenario can be applied to other things as well (AHEM!)
 
We used to be long distance, and even after being apart for a couple of weeks, the chocolate cake scenario was applicable.   

BmoreBride311

Not a chance. I do agree with the "chocolate scenario", but have already experienced that when we did long distance for two years (DC to London) and only saw each other once a month.

I can already feel both of us getting more and more stressed about the wedding. There's no way I would then take away from my FI (and myself) one of the few ways we both know to successfully alleviate stress.

We will be apart most of the week before the wedding, so I think that will be the extent of our hiatus!

NIKKIANDTYE

I could'nt do that I would become a BRIDEZILLA!!!  Ha-ha

owengirl996

Yes! I want to do this too! I'm all about that chocolate cake scenario...we'll see if it actually happens lol

elizabethmae315

FI and I are already on a "break." 

We had talked about it before and werent sure. Then. I left my birth control at my apt on accident over spring break. Clearly not my brightest move. Anyways, we thought it would be good to wait til after the cycle was over, but then i decided for other reasons (including roommates, his thesis was due, and we were only together six weeks before the first time) it might be good to take a break. 

Its already made improvements, we'll talk more, and this way can have private conversations instead of just jumping eachother everytime we are alone in an apartment. 

We still fool around plenty, just no sex sex til the wedding. 

6billionsouls

We thought about it and talked about it, but where we are in our lives right now, it wasn't practical. A - When we got our puppy in January we pretty much took a 2 month break. It's difficult to "ahem" when you have a 6 week puppy sleeping in bed with you. LOL! Plus, we decided we wanted to TTC a few months before the wedding due to timing (my daughters age and we would prefer to be younger parents and only want one more). So, no breaks here! Good luck to you girls who do though. My best friend did the same thing before her wedding and said their honeymoon was amazing!

ajmom2two

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_this-is-awkward-but-i-am-curious?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:843fff2f-4cc5-4fb5-bedf-8801d450c090Post:ff45165b-189d-4af5-bb91-0d8c49496b3d">Re: this is awkward, but I am curious....</a>:
[QUOTE]I could'nt do that I would become a BRIDEZILLA!!!  Ha-ha
Posted by NIKKIANDTYE[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>This!  If we go a week I am super cranky and upleasant to be around!</div>

BeachLover2885

There is no way in hell FI would ever agree to no sex! When we first moved in together he was upset because he thought we would be having sex every day, so I can't even imagine asking him to give it up before the wedding. We have sex a few times a week and that's barely enough for him lol. 

owengirl996

I thought I posted here before, but it must not have stuck, or I'm losing my mind...

Anyway, we are taking a break! I just made it official tonight after reading this thread lol 3 months sounded good to me. He's like "HA! Like that will be any different than now!" GRRRR!!! The guy wants it ALL.THE.TIME!!! I still make sure to give it to him once a week or so, but after a long day at work, working out, making dinner, planning the wedding, etc, I just don't feel like it very often! When we first started living together almost 2 yrs ago, it was basically every other day...but went down to about once a week.

I already got some lingerie, and based on a PP, we will make sure to bring some lube lmao

RyansBelovedBride

Ryan and I don't believe in sex before marriage, so it's one long break. lol. We're also on different continents, so that makes it difficult. We're really looking forward to getting married. :-P