Just a few questions! (Long)

PokeMom

So my wedding is in 5 days... (4 if you count it past midnight!)... And I STILL do not have everything figured out!

One thing I'm really struggling with is the programs. When listing the Wedding Party, I've gotten everything except for how to present his parents. His mother passed away this past April. This is where I'm stuck: She's still his mother, even though she is no longer with us. Do I place her under the 'Parents of the Groom' still? I would think I still should, but then shouldn't I change the wording?

Another thing is the ceremony itself. We only just confirmed it with the pastor this month (he was a real pain to contact) and while we made it known that we wanted a unity candle and a lighting of a memorial candle at the beginning, he didn't tell us what else to expect. We're having a religious ceremony in a Baptist church with traditional vows, not writing any ourselves. What else should we expect? I've tried calling/emailing him, but I can't get ahold of him and the church doesn't have a receptionist. I can't do the Ceremony part of our program until I figure this out either. Can anyone give me an idea of what to expect so I can at least have the template made up to print off when it's finalized? I don't want to rush around to do everything the night before we get married (and our rehearsal is the day before)...

And lastly, is anyone doing a song for the unity candle? I think I remember the Brother saying something about it but I'm not sure.

TIA and sorry for the length! Nerves are getting to me

BeachLover2885

I'm so sorry about your FI's mom.  Under parents of the groom, you could put her name and then in spirit next to it? My FI's mom passed away 6 years I believe, and we put a little dedication in our program to FI's mom and our grandparents. Talk to your FI and see what he thinks. This is what we wrote and then listed the names:

 On this day, we would like to honor our family who are no
longer with us. Through the years, their love has shaped
and guided us. They are in our hearts today and always:

We aren't getting married in a church, but we are having a unity candle. We are not having a song play during the lighting, but I can't remember if a song is usually played at a church? Wish I could be more helpful! 

ramisenh

I'm sorry to hear about FI mom. You could put "Parents of the Groom: John and the Late Susie Smith". Both of my FI parents have passed and so we did The Late John and Susie Smith.

BmoreBride311

I'm sorry about your FI's mom. It must be tough losing someone like that so close to your wedding.

My ceremony is Episcopal and they do not allow Unity Candles, so I'm afraid I can't help you much with that. Have you googled for a Baptist wedding program? I'm sure you can find some helpful examples!

I feel you on the non-responsive officiant. I had the same issue with ours for MONTHS. We finally got our order of service and readings approved last night, so I will start printing our programs this weekend.

GL and enjoy your wedding!

michelle11988

Is there any way you can go to mass at the church and hang around after to chat with the pastor? I know that my church we are getting married in allows this to get in touch with him, they also have a receptionist as well.  I am doing some song that talks about lighting a flame while we are doing our part of the unity candle, I totally forget the name of it but we didn't bother listing it in the programs.

honeybear072012

I'm sorry about your FI's mom.  That's gotta be tough.  I'd go with one of the two options mentioned.

Like Bmore said, try googling baptist wedding ceremony.  There are a lot of sites out there that will break down exactly what happens and give you a sample program.

And for the song while you're lighting the unity candle, there normally is one played in a church while you're lighting it but we're getting married in a Catholic Church, and like Bmore, they do not allow us to have it during the ceremony.  I would suggest googling that as well or talking with your music director for recommendations.  My other thought, and please don't hate me for asking this, is that normally the mothers light the two candles for you before the ceremony starts.  Have you thought of who is lighting FI's family's candle?

Eliz77

I am sorry to hear about FI's mom, that must have made planning the wedding very rough on the both of you. I think "Parents of the Groom: John and the late Susie Smith" would be appropriate. 

We aren't doing a unity candle after all but some suggestions from my music person:

~Ave Maria

~May God Bless you (Greiken)

~Where There is Love (Haas)

~With this Ring 

Wherever You Go (Norbet)

Hope this helps!

PokeMom

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_just-a-few-questions-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:87c0ce62-0e42-433a-8892-f0311b680eefPost:2f1ddb9b-3d5f-4d44-ba54-7d8635f8c139">Re: Just a few questions! (Long)</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm sorry about your FI's mom.  That's gotta be tough.  I'd go with one of the two options mentioned. Like Bmore said, try googling baptist wedding ceremony.  There are a lot of sites out there that will break down exactly what happens and give you a sample program. And for the song while you're lighting the unity candle, there normally is one played in a church while you're lighting it but we're getting married in a Catholic Church, and like Bmore, they do not allow us to have it during the ceremony.  I would suggest googling that as well or talking with your music director for recommendations.  My other thought, and please don't hate me for asking this, is that normally the mothers light the two candles for you before the ceremony start<strong>s.  Have you thought of who is lighting FI's family's candle?</strong>
Posted by honeybear072012[/QUOTE]

No hate at all! We're having his father and my step-dad light the candle. We felt really strongly about having them be a part of the ceremony, especially after all the family had been through. My mother could never have done it anyway, since I've known from day one that she was walking me down the aisle <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-smile.gif" border="0" alt="Smile" title="Smile" />

Thank you all for the thoughts. It has been tough, but FI and I know she will be joining us there in spirit. I like the suggestions to do 'Late Groom's Mom Name'. When I asked FI what he preffered, he just shrugged. What a help, hehe.

I'll definitely use Google tonight! I'm Catholic myself, and with the Brother knowing this, I was just afraid that he's feeling obligated to include something he doesn't normally do into the ceremony. I'll get an idea of what the ceremony will be like, and try to get ahold of him after a service, if my wedding timeline allows (I have more last minute things than I planned to...).

PokeMom

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_just-a-few-questions-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:87c0ce62-0e42-433a-8892-f0311b680eefPost:aca3a6f4-4fb1-4f71-8f52-f81596744110">Re: Just a few questions! (Long)</a>:
[QUOTE]I am s orry to hear about FI's mom, that must have made planning the wedding very rough on the both of you.  I think "Parents of the Groom: John and the late Susie Smith" would be appropriate.  We aren't doing a unity candle after all but some suggestions from my music person: ~Ave Maria ~May God Bless you (Greiken) ~Where There is Love (Haas) ~With this Ring  Wherever You Go (Norbet) Hope this helps!
Posted by Eliz77[/QUOTE]

Thank you for the song suggestions! This stuff is driving me insane. I always thought I was good with details; now I hate them. <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-cool.gif" border="0" alt="Cool" title="Cool" /> <--- Just gotta stay cool and breathe I suppose. I will run these by FI tonight!