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April 2012 Weddings

What do you ladies think about

the dollar dance? I go back and forth about this. On one hand, my FSIL had it at her wedding because she said it was a way to get to talk to everyone at the wedding. In return for the $1, her and her husband provided a shot to the guests. I also went to another wedding where they had the dollar dance and I had a great time!
 On the other hand, I have read a lot of TK boards that say it's tacky. You shouldn't ask your guests for a dollar to dance with you. What do you all think?
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Re: What do you ladies think about

  • The knot has a LOT of opinions and you can pretty much bet that anything you do for you wedding there will be at least one knottie to say they think its tacky. I think it really just depends on your area and your group of guests. You said you FSIL did one and you have been to weddings where they did them so im guessing in your group of family and friends this is acceptable and is a norm. So I say go for it. I think with most people they think asking for money in any way is bad on here. I however feel that it really depends on the group. I know in my area that a dollar dance is kind of expected. Ive already had people telling me that cant wait to dollar dance with me and we hadnt even decided if we wanted to do it. So if you think your guests are okay with it then I say go for it and enjoy a few extra dollars!!! Good luck!
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  • I think it is all based on your guests. For instance, my family would be confused if we DIDN'T have a dollar dance. It's a fun tradition. If you don't like it, you have no obligation to have it, but don't feel guilty if you do want one. Guests are aware its a fun tradition. :)
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  • I have guests that have asked about it too. I agree, I think it is fun and I never thought of it as tacky (even as a guest) until I read TK boards! I definitely appreciate your input!
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  • I personally have never seen a wedding with a dollar dance (and I used to work in banquets, so I have worked A LOT of weddings), so I'm assuming that this is something that depends on your area and group of friends, like PPs have said.  If you're just doing it to get a chance to talk to your guests, can't you and your FI just set aside time during the dinner / reception to visit each table?
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  • edited April 2011
    If its a part of your culture/location - go for it.

    Personally, I think it's tacky.  Your reception is a party for your guests. Just like you don't include registry info, this stuff sounds like selfish greed imho :(
  • mdphdmdphd member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_april-2012-weddings_ladies-think?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:05427f07-4ba2-44d6-9271-99a7af1ee5c0Discussion:4c46bfe2-7ca9-4b5a-8c2b-b058c8b56b62Post:a47c6ef4-dc59-4ef0-8747-7d650629b731">Re: What do you ladies think about</a>:
    [QUOTE] Personally, I think it's tacky.  Your reception is a party for your guests. Just like you don't include registry info, this stuff sounds like selfish greed imho :(
    Posted by KendallandAlbert[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>I agree with the above.  If it's common in your region you can do it, but remember if you are inviting OOT guests who are not from areas where it's accepted, they could also find it tacky.

    </div>
  • Here in New Orleans it's a common tradition and not tacky.  Ditto pp that if it's not uncommon among your family/friends it is fine to do it.  People who think it's tacky don't understand that it's only a dollar and it's a chance for everyone to get to speak with you for a moment and wish you well.  Although my fiance and I do think it's tacky if people pin dollars to your dress, much better to have your MOH or someone standing by with a little drawstring bag or etc.

    Whoever said it was supposed to be happily ever after is a big fat liar.
  • I personally LOVE the $1 dance! Like a prev bride said, my family would too be confused if we didnt have one.  It is a great way to get a 1 on 1 moment with your guests, and a great way to get a little extra money for your honeymoon (Does that sound tacky?! haha) The guest that dont like the idea or feel its tacky wont participate. Who cares what they think.. Your day, your wedding! :) 

    We will have a dollar dance, and I cant wait for it!
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  • em01092em01092 member
    1000 Comments
    edited April 2011
    I agree with PPs, just do whatever is the norm for your circle or area. If you are really opposed to the idea, even if it is popular, just skip it. 

    @Mjlove: Be careful saying the "your day your wedding" thing on TK....you will get flamed big time! I know from experience! While I don't completely disagree, I just would like to warn you that this is not received well on the boards, since you only have 10 posts.  The ladies on the E board and some of the others can seem very "harsh" because they tend to not hold back and can be very blunt about things, but they are just giving their honest opinions. In general though, we on here (April 2012)  are pretty nice. =D
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  • My mom did it and really wants us to do it but I wasn't sure because none of my friends have. I'm torn also
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  • It's definately a culture thing, I think. I personally want to have a $1 dance but we call it the "money dance". I come from a fairly large asian family that are pretty well off and they normally give larger bills, if you know what I mean. Call it greed...I don't care. It does give you a chance to have a moment with each of your guests. Instead of the typical "pinning" on the dress, I'm going to have a bag of some sort to hold all the goods.
  • I have been to several weddings around here where it has been done.  I plan on doing it myself, but because the "apron dance" (as it is originally known as) is a polish tradition and I am a proud polock! :)  If anyone is offended, they don't have to participate...or donate.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_april-2012-weddings_ladies-think?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:05427f07-4ba2-44d6-9271-99a7af1ee5c0Discussion:4c46bfe2-7ca9-4b5a-8c2b-b058c8b56b62Post:37220618-7d07-455b-9153-ec61dd26ba69">Re: What do you ladies think about</a>:
    [QUOTE] Your day, your wedding! :) 
    Posted by Mjlove10[/QUOTE]

    The wedding is yours.  The reception is for your guests.   I see it as this - If someone throws you a party for your birthday, they don't ask you to give them money for 1-on-1 time.   Why would you do so at your wedding?

    I hear "oh its great 1-on-1 time"   I'm sorry, if I have to give you cash to speak to you at the wedding with true one-on-one time, I probably don't want to come to your wedding at all.  A bride should speak a few moments one-on-one with every guest she invites, not just people willing to throw cash on her as if she was a stripper.

    Just seems tacky and classless to me.
  • mdphdmdphd member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary
    <div>In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_april-2012-weddings_ladies-think?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:05427f07-4ba2-44d6-9271-99a7af1ee5c0Discussion:4c46bfe2-7ca9-4b5a-8c2b-b058c8b56b62Post:d7e7a599-c770-4af6-a21b-a356da25c411">Re: What do you ladies think about</a>:</div>[QUOTE]In Response to Re: What do you ladies think about : The wedding is yours.  The reception is for your guests.   I see it as this - If someone throws you a party for your birthday, they don't ask you to give them money for 1-on-1 time.   Why would you do so at your wedding? I hear "oh its great 1-on-1 time"   I'm sorry, if I have to give you cash to speak to you at the wedding with true one-on-one time, I probably don't want to come to your wedding at all.  A bride should speak a few moments one-on-one with every guest she invites, not just people willing to throw cash on her as if she was a stripper. Just seems tacky and classless to me.
    Posted by KendallandAlbert[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div><div style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:10px;background-color:initial;background-image:none;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;color:#1f1f1f;font:normal normal normal 11px/14px Arial, sans-serif;text-align:left;line-height:normal;">ITA, Kendall.  =)<div>
    </div><div>I get that certain families/cultures think this is ok, and that's fine, but really try to think about your whole guest list and their comfort levels.  I think the attitude of "it's my wedding, to hell if my guests are happy/comfortable" is very immature.  Unless all your guests are going to understand the custom and are not going to feel pushed into contributing if they don't want to, I wouldn't do it.</div></div>
    </div>
  • Wow! So many different opinions about this topic. Thank you all for your thoughts! We definitely have not decided what we are going to do. We will talk with our families and friends and see what they think! I am honestly not sure what the "norm" in our area is. I have been to some weddings where they have done it, and others where they didn't. It seems to be mixed here. Thank you all again for your input!
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  • I've only ever been to a wedding where they had a dollar dance once...it just isn't a big tradition in my area. But, if it is commonly practiced in your area I think it is okay to do. 
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