First post here- Could use help!

KCloth20

This is my first post on this board, so hello everyone! My wedding is supposed to be April 15th 2012. Planning has been great, I had my dream wedding becoming a reality. A few days ago our parents decided we needed to have a meeting, which is it's own long story, just two months before the wedding. Originally my FI and I had planned on paying for the wedding ourselves, which would've been a very small and budget affair. My parents insisted on helping and my dad has very expensive taste and they were spoiling me with all the things I had dreamed about since I was a little girl. Now at this point they decided to meet with us and tell us they refuse to go on with planning or pay another penny because my FI and I are living together on and off when my roommate has people over. This has been the case for the past year, and they are bringing it up now when all the big payments are due. I've had to cancel all the vendors, and now my sister who is my maid of honor is saying she may not want to be in the wedding anymore, but she won't give me an answer. It's just stressing me out! We have a backup plan, but it means starting the planning all over with 2 months to go. 

I really just need to vent about it, I don't want to bring it up with friends who are friends with my sister as well and make that situation awkward, but this is a very hard spot for me! 

rlavach

Oh wow, what a situation to deal with at the last moment. That's exactly why I had my parents give me their promised money up front. I was afraid of something like this! Are you sure there isn't more to the story? 

If they knew of your living situation this whole time, why is it only a concern now? 

cdbishop

If it you and FI do not live together, would your parents still give money if the 'sleep overs' stop for the next two months?  

Also, why is your sister saying she may not want to be in the wedding?  Is it because of the same reason as your parents?

If you have to re do your planning in two months and can still afford what you need/want to do by paying yourself, that is great.  I just hope it all works out. 

KCloth20

His parents just want the sleeping together to stop until the wedding, which we can do, we'd like to save those relationships. But they've known for a long time and just waited for the worst possible time to make it an issue. My parents want there to be no wedding and for me to leave my FI because he will "drag me to hell". But in the last 3 years we've been talking marriage they've had little to nothing to say about it. My sister is deciding that she doesn't agree with sleeping together before marriage so she doesn't think she should stand with me at my wedding, and I just want to tell her fine I don't need you to. My old roommate, best friend, and bridesmaid (all one person) stands by me through everything and we've helped each other through some hard times, I should have chosen her to start but it was my sister and she really wanted it, so to keep things pleasant in that relationship I had her act as MOH. It's just a mess, and I was getting excited because I could see the end to the planning coming, then this and it's pretty much back to square one. 

inhisname2010

Wow...I'm so sorry to hear this. Are you living in your parent's house? And why is it an issue with you sister now? Ugh...again, I'm sorry.

I say forget everything and you and your FI go with your original plans and do it your way that way no one can hold anything over your heads.

chickenbut143

Yikes!! In your situation, i'd do just what you said...start from square one with you & your FI paying, so those who disagree or don't want the marriage to happen - don't have much input.  Honestly, to me it sounds like your only option...   GOOD LUCK and we're here if you need us!!

anniemac1581

Take a deep breath, remember you arre marrying the man that you love and the new planning will fall into place.  Sometimes our parents expectations of us as adult children are a little skewed, I can relate...and my parents got over certain things.  Im sorry this is so stressful, they will come around but move forward, and as for your sister- if she doesnt stand up there with you she will be the one to regret it in the future.  Focus on the people that support and love you, especially your future husband!  Good luck, keep your head up! 

KCloth20

Through all this my FI has been the most amazing man. He has stood up for us to my dad, been calm and explained our beliefs, and has really taken care of me. Now with the new plans he's doing his best to fill the hole my sister is leaving because she was a HUGE help planning, I don't even so much care about the details of the wedding I'm just ecstatic with the man I'm marrying. It's still hard and emotional with my family shutting me out and turning on me at this point, and I can't help cry a little over the wedding I've spent months planning, it was going to rock. But I'll just work on deep breaths and taking it a step at a time, I know everything will fall into place, Thanks for your encouraging comments!

rardito

I cannot believe some people.

I would decline any of their offers and pay for it myself.

futuremrsdavies

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_april-2012-weddings_first-post-here-could-use-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:05427f07-4ba2-44d6-9271-99a7af1ee5c0Discussion:08bff0c3-00cb-4162-b2c8-d088f7b42d7dPost:646d699d-13c5-48db-9f0c-843c1326b761">Re: First post here- Could use help!</a>:
[QUOTE]Take a deep breath, remember you arre marrying the man that you love and the new planning will fall into place.  Sometimes our parents expectations of us as adult children are a little skewed, I can relate...and my parents got over certain things.  Im sorry this is so stressful, they will come around but move forward, and as for your sister- if she doesnt stand up there with you she will be the one to regret it in the future.  Focus on the people that support and love you, especially your future husband!  Good luck, keep your head up! 
Posted by anniemac1581[/QUOTE]

This exactly....Unfortunately weddings and finances can bring out the worst in people.  Don't let thier negative opinions and attitudes rub off on you.  You have the most important thing you need...support from your husband to be.  Good luck

theatretwin

there is an emmense freedom in paying for it yourself, honey.

But also, it's the MARRIAGE that's important...more so than a the wedding,r ight? So I applaud that you are being the bigger people, you don't want to damage those relationships,  I agree with the ladies above.   Take a breath.  Do what yoiu think is right, and get married!