July 2012 Weddings
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What do you do when...

your FI has totally bad wedding ideas?? Haha jk! But really.. FI and I are not managing to agree on hardly anything. We DO want to have little surprises and do things people haven't seen here before. We DO like fancy-ish things and having memorable pieces (like server sets etc.) We DO want a fun dancing party with all our friends and fam. And the list stops about there. I thought we could have a romantic love bird type theme that would be representative of our journey and story together... and I was really starting to get on my way with it. Until last night he told me he hates it! He doesn't like birds (who doesn't like birds??!) and he feels that wouldn't be a wedding  he could call "his". :-\ Clearly, my idea has now gone down the drain. Then I ask for suggestions... he doesn't have any! He's basically really good at saying no but not giving better ideas or alternatives. Really frustrating.

At times he seems to be uninterested in planning and details but then OTHER times he has all sorts of opinions, which are always against my ideas of course. Other days he gets all resentful cuz he's not involved in anything and it's all about "my wedding", but when I go to him for ideas, suggestions, looking for a way to include something that would be his style... I get nothing!! Or not so good ideas. I know that sounds terrible to say, but even he's admitted he's having a hard time thinking "wedding". He admitted he gets sidetracked and starts thinking up ideas for "a really awesome birthday party"..... Like he said he thinks it would be cool to have a huge ice sculpture of his dog.. his dog that doesn't live with us and doesn't really tie in anywhere with us. That would be perfect for his surprise groomscake.. but ice sculpture in the middle of the reception? Or he said he thinks it'd be cool to have a rave theme, when half our guests don't like electronic as much as he does (although here I have no problems whatsoever with getting him dance lights and rave-esque things to jazz up the dance party.. but just not as a central theme) And last night he suggested having flags to represent our countries. But I think flags are really tacky looking. And so far these are the only ideas/ suggestions I've managed to pull out of him. I'm trying my hardest to find better executions or alternatives for his ideas, but it's getting tough here!

Ugh, so those are my frustrations planning with FI lately. Just had to share with somebody! Sorry for the bit of a rant there. Anybody else dealing with difficult FIs while planning??

Re: What do you do when...

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    Me and my FI are totally opposities so I definately know somewhat what you are going through. He hates my ideas and I hate his. We try compromising lol we usually argue about ideas but he ends up giving into my idea. lol.

    I wish you all the luck trying to place with someone oppositie of you because at times it can be challenging but just remember that he brings another outside element and ideas. Hopefully you guys can compromise somewhere. :)  Goodluck!!
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
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    This is funny because 4 weeks ago when we first got engaged he said baby this is something women plan an men just show up to but I don't want to wear pink :-). Well all of a sudden he loves the pic with groom in the pink vest and pink tie and now he is throwing suggestions at me about an outside tent wedding and he wants a saturday not sunday cause he wants to party all night. I would say just give him some time. Most men just don't care too much for the planning as long as their woman is happy and not a bridezilla that's all they care about and then some men really get involved but don't be disturbed if he is not that into it remember its a wedding. Flowers,dresses,centerpieces,cakes,making favors that's all girly stuff to be honest so cut him some slack.
    Holiday
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    Nati05Nati05 member
    First Comment First Anniversary
    edited April 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_what-do-you-do-when?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:8fc89b92-0833-4456-bf0c-3cf1f2b12a29Post:1b5d4524-908c-44bd-8de7-9143d5982772">Re: What do you do when...</a>:
    [QUOTE]This is funny because 4 weeks ago when we first got engaged he said baby this is something women plan an men just show up to but I don't want to wear pink :-). Well all of a sudden he loves the pic with groom in the pink vest and pink tie and now he is throwing suggestions at me about an outside tent wedding and he wants a saturday not sunday cause he wants to party all night. I would say just give him some time. <strong>Most men just don't care too much for the planning as long as their woman is happy and not a bridezilla that's all they care about and then some men really get involved but don't be disturbed if he is not that into it remember its a wedding. Flowers,dresses,centerpieces,cakes,making favors that's all girly stuff to be honest so cut him some slack.
    </strong>Posted by Bena29[/QUOTE]

    Lol well really, I would prefer if he left it up to me! But he won't. Which don't get me wrong, is also okay with me. What I DON'T like, is him not figuring out what he wants. Either quit complaining about being left behind and get involved, or let me handle it. The in-between stuff is what annoys me. But anyway, it seems like things are getting a little better. NOW I'm just struggling with trying to get things done on time. So far he's not interested in booking the venue, church, catering or photographer because he says "we still have a year left to go"... hahaha riiight...
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_what-do-you-do-when?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:8fc89b92-0833-4456-bf0c-3cf1f2b12a29Post:9d8d306d-fbf1-4d5f-a4ec-a04c256f6e5c">Re: What do you do when...</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: What do you do when... : Lol well really, I would prefer if he left it up to me! But he won't. Which don't get me wrong, is also okay with me. What I DON'T like, is him not figuring out what he wants. Either quit complaining about being left behind and get involved, or let me handle it. The in-between stuff is what annoys me. But anyway, it seems like things are getting a little better. NOW I'm just struggling with trying to get things done on time. So far he's not interested in booking the venue, church, catering or photographer because he says "we still have a year left to go"... hahaha riiight...
    Posted by Nati05[/QUOTE]

    <div>Well you tell him that year means nothing in WEDDING WORLD. I had my eye on my #1 venue and found out a few days ago that they started booking for 2012 already. I wrote a post asking for advise on if I should book without seeing my other venues first and everyone told me to hurry and see all the other venues, well with my work schedule I was only able to see one other venue this past sunday and by time I called my #1 today guess what they are booked for May,June and July 2012 :-( so now it's either change the date or change the venue so you tell that mister it is nowhere near too early.</div>
    Holiday
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