Guests Plus 1

emnmatt

I am having my ceremony and reception at the same location. 

Would it be weird to ivite some just to the reception and not the ceremony?

If a guest has only been dating for a short while, should I have them have a  + 1?

My mom just got divorced to my dad, and she wantes to invite her new boyfried. I don't want him to come. They have only been dating a month and it is too soon for me to see her with another guy. But I want her to be happy and have fun at the wedding. So I was thinking- the ceremony is all about me and my FI and I think that my parents should be there as my parents regardless if they are together still or not. I don't want it to me my dad, and then my mom and her boyfried. 

So I was thinking the boyfried could just come to the reception, so my mom and him can dance, and so forth.

I need opinions. Should he come to the whole wedding? Or just the reception? Or not at all?

Help would be greatly appreciated.

MeaganR12

In almost all cases it's not ok to to do what you're talking about. But it's your mom so this situation is a little different. My mom and step dad just got divorced in November so I understand what you're going through. 

My mom has been dating someone for a while and thankfully has not mentioned him being invited, I definitely do not want him there. If I were you I would tell her you would prefer if he wasn't there since you're still getting used to the idea of her being with someone new. 

AllyG303

Ditto what Meagan said.  

FI's mom has a boyfriend as well...for a little while now (his parents are still going through the world's longest divorce, I swear).  She happened to mention the other day that she didn't want FI to meet the boyfriend for the first time at the wedding, and decided it would be best if she brought a friend instead.  It was a good thing she decided this since it would've been a hroribly awkward conversation telling her that her boyfriend was not invited anyway.  

Maybe your mom can bring one of her close girlfriends instead.  

Madisonpenny

Okay for question 1- Unless seating is an issue for the ceremony I don't know why you wouldn't want everyone to be at your ceremony that your going to be paying to have for dinner...

Question 2-  I can understand why you don't want your mom's boyfriend there after only dating for 1 month.  You said that your parents just got divorced are we talking "just" as in 3 months ago or as in 1 year ago?  Some people have different time lines for this.. If its the 1st then yea, I can see why this would cause some issues. 

littlemoments324

I think you need to wait and see where her relationship goes with this guy first.  It could last another month and then they'll be done...But I totally understand. 

Is she helping with the wedding financially?  If so, then you may want to take into consideration...I know its hard to see your parent with someone other than the other parent (it was tough for a while for me too...and my parents were divorced when I was in 4th grade)...

Don't be afraid to express your feelings to your mom and see what she has to say...I hope she is just as curteous to you as you are being to her...

Melissa.hylton

Im not sure how you would pull that one off, I guess with a wide time frame between reception and ceremony. I had added plus ones to everyone with anticipation someone will always bring someone to a wedding esp if they are not friends or close friends with anyone else attending the ceremony-reception.

LADY324

For your regular guests if you are inviting them with a guest to the reception you should really invite them with their guest to the ceremony.  Regardless of how long they have been dating if they are in a relationship they should get a plus one.

Now as far as your mom goes I can totally understand why you don't want your mom's boyfriend to be there.  Have you met him?  Are you in his company a lot?  If I were in your shoes I don't think that I would want my mom's new boyfriend there either.  But we do still have 4 months to go which means that they will have been together for 5 months by the time your wedding rolls around.  I would just feel things out until you have to send out the invites.  Also littlemoments had a good point if your mom is paying I unfortunately do think that you have to invite him.  If you guys are paying you have 100% control over your guest list. 

ceglare4

I agree with everything LADY said. I'm leaning more and more towards the side that says you need to invite the boyfriend, especially if you've met him before and also if your mom is contributing financially to the wedding.

butterflyjumper1

this is TOTALLY unrelated to everything this post is talking about, but I just happened to notice ceglare's ticker, and it FREAKED ME OUT! 3 months 3 weeks and 2 days?? that is practically nothing!

k8888

Ditto what LADY said, as well. 

It's really not your call to break up social units.  I would leave it up to your mom to decide if she's going to bring her bf or not.  I doubt you'll really know he's there anyway, you'll be so busy!

Just my opinion....

ceglare4

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_guests-plus-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:90828770-9423-4434-9fe7-bd786a5657b9Post:addcf3ed-178f-4dbe-82db-ae0cc2c7fbda">Re: Guests Plus 1</a>:
[QUOTE]this is TOTALLY unrelated to everything this post is talking about, but I just happened to notice ceglare's ticker, and it FREAKED ME OUT! 3 months 3 weeks and 2 days?? that is practically nothing!
Posted by butterflyjumper1[/QUOTE]

hahahaha me too! bells said the same thing yesterday! I feel like April is my last month of sanity before the wedding because May and June are going to be hellishly busy, but in a good way!