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Pennsylvania-Philadelphia

Hump Day Wednesday

It's Hump Day...Now’s the time for Vents, Open Letters and Confessions....Get it off your chest!

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Re: Hump Day Wednesday

  • I'm really annoyed that The Knot is eating my posts!
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  • Vent: FI and I got in an argument last night over a friend that he wants to invite to the wedding. I don't want to invite this guy or his girlfriend because they both have a drug problem. Years ago at a get together at someone's apartment, the girlfriend (who was dating someone else at the time) stole money out of my friend's (one of my bridesmaids) purse. I honeslty don't know if she's changed, but since she's still doing drugs, my guess is probably not. I don't want to have to worry about people leaving their purses unattended at the wedding and getting things stolen. FI feels very strongly, as the guy was one of his close friends. I say "was" because they never hang out anymore, but FI still considers him a good friend. We talked about it a few weeks ago and he said he wouldn't invite them, but last night he said he's changed his mind, that he feels like that would be sending a message that he doesn't want to send. He claims they are both getting help but I don't really know if that's true. The compromise we came to is that they won't get a Save the Date, and we'll evaluate where they are when it's time to send invitations. I don't want this couple at my wedding... I used to really like the guy back in the day when we'd all hang out, but that was before he was dating this girl. It's mostly the girl I don't want there and I know I can't invite one without the other. I'd also be very upset if they brought drugs to the wedding. FI says they wouldn't do that, and that the guy would never "let" his gf steal things at the wedding but I'm still worried about it. Since we're not sending them a STD, the final decision doesn't need to be made til around November... but I feel like it's going to be the same argument all over again. Grrrr.
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  • I'm frustrated I can't get my wedding tickler to post!
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_pennsylvania-philadelphia_hump-day-wednesday-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:105Discussion:f9d030a9-4dbb-4e61-8f54-4273e52d3511Post:a6df06d1-11fd-4151-a2db-09690bfec8ea">Re: Hump Day Wednesday</a>:
    [QUOTE]Vent: FI and I got in an argument last night over a friend that he wants to invite to the wedding. I don't want to invite this guy or his girlfriend because they both have a drug problem. Years ago at a get together at someone's apartment, the girlfriend (who was dating someone else at the time) stole money out of my friend's (one of my bridesmaids) purse. I honeslty don't know if she's changed, but since she's still doing drugs, my guess is probably not. I don't want to have to worry about people leaving their purses unattended at the wedding and getting things stolen. FI feels very strongly, as the guy was one of his close friends. I say "was" because they never hang out anymore, but FI still considers him a good friend. We talked about it a few weeks ago and he said he wouldn't invite them, but last night he said he's changed his mind, that he feels like that would be sending a message that he doesn't want to send. He claims they are both getting help but I don't really know if that's true.<strong> The compromise we came to is that they won't get a Save the Date, and we'll evaluate where they are when it's time to send invitations.</strong> I don't want this couple at my wedding... I used to really like the guy back in the day when we'd all hang out, but that was before he was dating this girl. It's mostly the girl I don't want there and I know I can't invite one without the other. I'd also be very upset if they brought drugs to the wedding. FI says they wouldn't do that, and that the guy would never "let" his gf steal things at the wedding but I'm still worried about it. Since we're not sending them a STD, the final decision doesn't need to be made til around November... but I feel like it's going to be the same argument all over again. Grrrr.
    Posted by angelstar975[/QUOTE]

    Sounds like a good plan. I wouldn't want drug addicts at my wedding, either.
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  • edited February 2012
    My vent is that my FMIL is flying in for my bridal shower (YAY!) but refuses to stay overnight for it. Why is this a vent?

    She's flying into NYC, driving to the shore on Saturday morning, shower is Saturday at 3pm, then she's leaving at 5pm to head back to NYC with her daughters (two of my BMs) to have "Mom time" with them (her words, not mine). 

    First of all, everyone else is staying overnight at our beach house. That's the piont of doing it down there - so we can all spend time together.

    Second, this automatically removes two of my BMs from the bonding time because they will have to leave when their mom does.

    Third, her flight back from NY isn't until Sunday night. She could theoretically return on Sunday morning and still make her SAME flight. AND it's going to cost her more to do it this way because there is no train back on Sat night, so she'll have to rent a car, drive 3 hours to the shore, then stay 2 hours, then drive 3 hours back. If she was staying overnight, she could take the train and leave Sun morning, which costs like 30 bucks.

    Fourth, to my knowledge, we have an outstanding relationship. She loves me, I love her, we email and chat on the phone all the time. So what the heck? Why are you even bothering if you're only coming for two hours? 

    Fifth, she sees her daughters at least twice a month because she comes to NY for business all the time. It's not like this is her only time to see her daughters. If it was then I would understand.

    Maybe I'm being a huge b*tch about this, but this is my BRIDAL SHOWER and you are going to be my MIL. You should at least stay the night. It's not like it costs extra - in fact, it'll cost more to leave.

    Anyway, I am super insulted.
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  • My cousin is a drug addict and steals. He is not invited to the wedding. My Aunt & Unclw won't come over this but I could not under any circumstances put my guests at risks. This decision tore my family apart but it is the correct decision.

    For a sort of friend I would not even think twice about not inviting him.


    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_pennsylvania-philadelphia_hump-day-wednesday-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:105Discussion:f9d030a9-4dbb-4e61-8f54-4273e52d3511Post:a6df06d1-11fd-4151-a2db-09690bfec8ea">Re: Hump Day Wednesday</a>:
    [QUOTE]Vent: FI and I got in an argument last night over a friend that he wants to invite to the wedding. I don't want to invite this guy or his girlfriend because they both have a drug problem. Years ago at a get together at someone's apartment, the girlfriend (who was dating someone else at the time) stole money out of my friend's (one of my bridesmaids) purse. I honeslty don't know if she's changed, but since she's still doing drugs, my guess is probably not. I don't want to have to worry about people leaving their purses unattended at the wedding and getting things stolen. FI feels very strongly, as the guy was one of his close friends. I say "was" because they never hang out anymore, but FI still considers him a good friend. We talked about it a few weeks ago and he said he wouldn't invite them, but last night he said he's changed his mind, that he feels like that would be sending a message that he doesn't want to send. He claims they are both getting help but I don't really know if that's true. The compromise we came to is that they won't get a Save the Date, and we'll evaluate where they are when it's time to send invitations. I don't want this couple at my wedding... I used to really like the guy back in the day when we'd all hang out, but that was before he was dating this girl. It's mostly the girl I don't want there and I know I can't invite one without the other. I'd also be very upset if they brought drugs to the wedding. FI says they wouldn't do that, and that the guy would never "let" his gf steal things at the wedding but I'm still worried about it. Since we're not sending them a STD, the final decision doesn't need to be made til around November... but I feel like it's going to be the same argument all over again. Grrrr.
    Posted by angelstar975[/QUOTE]
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  • Vent..

    I found out today that it is going to cost me $275 to have my FI and his groomsmen's kilts shipped to us for the wedding day.  I had no clue it would be that much!!  (We got them at a place in North NJ so its a hike)  And to top it off, she won't be shipping them until 3/13 which makes me super nervous since the wedding is 3/17!
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_pennsylvania-philadelphia_hump-day-wednesday-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:105Discussion:f9d030a9-4dbb-4e61-8f54-4273e52d3511Post:ef628429-c94c-45f0-a7bc-9e4e2ccf0f5d">Re: Hump Day Wednesday</a>:
    [QUOTE]Vent.. I found out today that it is going to cost me $275 to have my FI and his groomsmen's kilts shipped to us for the wedding day.  I had no clue it would be that much!!  (We got them at a place in North NJ so its a hike)  And to top it off, she won't be shipping them until 3/13 which makes me super nervous since the wedding is 3/17!
    Posted by adrienne0925[/QUOTE]

    That seems like an outrageous amount of money fror shipping! Is there any way you can pick them up? I know it's a hike, but you'll still probably spend way less than $275 in gas and you'll be guarenteed to get them on time.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_pennsylvania-philadelphia_hump-day-wednesday-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:105Discussion:f9d030a9-4dbb-4e61-8f54-4273e52d3511Post:c5dc412e-8708-493d-98b9-dade3ac50c32">Re: Hump Day Wednesday</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Hump Day Wednesday : That seems like an outrageous amount of money fror shipping! Is there any way you can pick them up? I know it's a hike, but you'll still probably spend way less than $275 in gas and you'll be guarenteed to get them on time.
    Posted by angelstar975[/QUOTE]

    I agree with this.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_pennsylvania-philadelphia_hump-day-wednesday-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:105Discussion:f9d030a9-4dbb-4e61-8f54-4273e52d3511Post:a6162d4c-219d-44d3-b626-93f04493a324">Re: Hump Day Wednesday</a>:
    [QUOTE]My vent is that my FMIL is flying in for my bridal shower (YAY!) but refuses to stay overnight for it. Why is this a vent? She's flying into NYC, driving to the shore on Saturday morning, shower is Saturday at 3pm, then she's leaving at 5pm to head back to NYC with her daughters (two of my BMs) to have "Mom time" with them (her words, not mine).  First of all, everyone else is staying overnight at our beach house. That's the piont of doing it down there - so we can all spend time together. Second, this automatically removes two of my BMs from the bonding time because they will have to leave when their mom does. Third, her flight back from NY isn't until Sunday night. She could theoretically return on Sunday morning and still make her SAME flight. AND it's going to cost her more to do it this way because there is no train back on Sat night, so she'll have to rent a car, drive 3 hours to the shore, then stay 2 hours, then drive 3 hours back. If she was staying overnight, she could take the train and leave Sun morning, which costs like 30 bucks. Fourth, to my knowledge, we have an outstanding relationship. She loves me, I love her, we email and chat on the phone all the time. So what the heck? Why are you even bothering if you're only coming for two hours?  Fifth, she sees her daughters at least twice a month because she comes to NY for business all the time. It's not like this is her only time to see her daughters. If it was then I would understand. Maybe I'm being a huge b*tch about this, but this is my BRIDAL SHOWER and you are going to be my MIL. You should at least stay the night. It's not like it costs extra - in fact, it'll cost more. Anyway, I am super insulted.
    Posted by bridetobe71412[/QUOTE]

    I'd be really insulted as well. What does your FI say about it? Could he talk to his mom and let her know your feelings are kind of hurt?
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  • Maybe they are planning some sort of surprise for you???

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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_pennsylvania-philadelphia_hump-day-wednesday-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:105Discussion:f9d030a9-4dbb-4e61-8f54-4273e52d3511Post:70d6bc44-70c9-4ba6-a869-e599b30d7758">Re: Hump Day Wednesday</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Hump Day Wednesday : I'd be really insulted as well. What does your FI say about it? Could he talk to his mom and let her know your feelings are kind of hurt?
    Posted by angelstar975[/QUOTE]

    I asked fiance about it and was like, is there something I did to make her not want to spend time with me? And he was like, "No way. I can't figure it out, either." He talked to her about it, and I think the consensus is she didn't want to "impose" on my mother because we'll have a bunch of people staying. It still doesn't make sense, though, since she's one of the people we specifically invited to stay once she said she was coming (which wasn't expected, anyway, since she's from out of state).

    She's just making it really difficult (and more expensive on her) than it has to be, so it makes me think there's something else going on.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_pennsylvania-philadelphia_hump-day-wednesday-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:105Discussion:f9d030a9-4dbb-4e61-8f54-4273e52d3511Post:94af7be4-6214-45de-a8e7-d7c4cfcc8c0d">Re: Hump Day Wednesday</a>:
    [QUOTE]My cousin is a drug addict and steals. He is not invited to the wedding. My Aunt & Unclw won't come over this but I could not under any circumstances put my guests at risks. This decision tore my family apart but it is the correct decision. For a sort of friend I would not even think twice about not inviting him. In Response to Re: Hump Day Wednesday :
    Posted by jelybeancg[/QUOTE]

    I wouldn't think twice about not inviting him either... unfortunately, FI doesn't consider him a sort of friend... he still considers him one of his best friends. He believes the reason they don't hang out is because FI is in law school and doesn't have a lot of time for friends. That may be true, but it doesn't change the situation. I don't want a thief at my wedding. FI thinks they may even break up before the wedding, but we'll see about that. I'm glad he agreed to not send them a STD... hopefully by the time it's relevant, the situation will be a little better. They'll be clean or they'll have broken up and he'll be clean, etc.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_pennsylvania-philadelphia_hump-day-wednesday-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:105Discussion:f9d030a9-4dbb-4e61-8f54-4273e52d3511Post:c5dc412e-8708-493d-98b9-dade3ac50c32">Re: Hump Day Wednesday</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Hump Day Wednesday : That seems like an outrageous amount of money fror shipping! Is there any way you can pick them up? I know it's a hike, but you'll still probably spend way less than $275 in gas and you'll be guarenteed to get them on time.
    Posted by angelstar975[/QUOTE]

    I wish!! Unfortunately they are not available for pick up until the day she is shipping them on  3/12.  There is no way FI can take off from work and I can't either.  I guess we will just suck it up and have them shipped. On a good note I found out that the $275 was for round trip so when we send them back, we won't have to pay again.
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