Future family annoyances (vent and long!)

Kate504

Ok I've never really got along with FI family, but last night I was just annoyed.

Backstory. We are staying in FI's grandmaw's home and paying rent, she is in a home. When his sister lived here she paid nothing.

His sister, had a baby last year and got married on the fly a few months ago, no real planning, so she didn't have a shower or anything like that. She was living in the place we are, his grandmaw's home that was stocked and she moved out at her desicion and had nothing and never bought anything (a year later).

FMIL told FI that she needed EVERYTHING for her home (she has been out of this house for over a year and hasn't bought anything!!! okay we will help with what we can) So I went out that day and bought her a set of dishes, glasses and four towels for a christmas gift. We are limited of funds, but I felt the need to help, she has a 1 year old and is his sister. When I was shopping I was concerned and was going to buy them all that I could and we are on a budget of 20-30 $ pp for christmas.

Well yesterday we are at FMIL and were asked why we didn't go to her shower. Um, what shower?! Apparently his family threw her a house warming shower to get her everything so she didn't have to buy it for herself (she has a good job and can buy things on her own, but spends her money on other things).. I was like well  you asked me to get her this stuff and never invited me to the shower?! FMIL said take it back she already got XYZ. I am not going back to Wal Mart 3 days before christmas to get a new gift!

I was like thats nice that people show up for her shower and did all that, because we got her all this and we don't have anything either, when we move out of his grandmaw's house we wil have nothing. She seemed shocked at this. I think that his family think we have all this $$ and stuff. FMIL said that we would then throw ourselves a house warming shower. UM, no. A house warming is not to get people to buy you everything for your home it is to get them to see your home. 

I guess I'm mad still that his family did not show for my shower and my feelings are hurt that I wasn't invited to her's.

TaraW1979

I am sorry you're having such a hard time with your future family! My advice to you is to just be friendly with them and that's all. Don't bend over backwards for them. Sometimes people don't have "wonderful" relationships with their in-laws and that is just something that you have to accept. Your FMIL does not seem like she is not making you feel like you are part of the family. 

Kate504

Thanks I know I just had to vent a little.

sassygirl5401

That would seriously annoy me. But you have to not let it get to you people are going to behave the way they want and unfortunately there isnt much we can do about it.

I wouldnt be taking that gift back this close to Christmas. Its not your fault they didnt tell you about the party. If she doesnt want the items you bought, she can take them back herself.

hippolover

WHAT!!!

1. that isn't ok.  Why do FI's sis get all this treatment and you guys are treated that the step children?

2. Can you keep the stuff for youself?

3. I wouldn't buy them a Christmas gift.  Be like "I am sorry, we are on a tight budget with the wedding. Maybe next year."

Rdh2MrsOMFS

Wow, they sound like a bowl of crazy.  Unfortunately, things usually don'tget better after you get married!  Try to kill them with kindness and do your own thing.  You will be moving away shortly after the wedding anyway, right?... Thank goodness!.. Sorry you are annoyed, though

TaraW1979

Kate, I remember you saying that your sister is pregnant, did she have her baby yet?

Kate504

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_january-2012-weddings_future-family-annoyances-vent-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:5a1804e7-e8c8-4829-9e61-b9d49f3a9b5fDiscussion:4fdd2035-7ab9-45a9-80e2-efabddba3a6bPost:686c82e9-2527-4946-b4ef-9954f02d47e3">Re: Future family annoyances (vent and long!)</a>:
[QUOTE]Kate, I remember you saying that your sister is pregnant, did she have her baby yet?
Posted by TaraW1979[/QUOTE]

She hasn't yet, but if she doesn't have it early she will be induced on the 3rd so she hopefully will be at the wedding.

Kate504

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_january-2012-weddings_future-family-annoyances-vent-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:5a1804e7-e8c8-4829-9e61-b9d49f3a9b5fDiscussion:4fdd2035-7ab9-45a9-80e2-efabddba3a6bPost:2c6f4198-e585-448b-97a6-4c13adf819cf">Re: Future family annoyances (vent and long!)</a>:
[QUOTE]Wow, they sound like a bowl of crazy.  Unfortunately, things usually don'tget better after you get married!  Try to kill them with kindness and do your own thing.  You will be moving away shortly after the wedding anyway, right?... Thank goodness!.. Sorry you are annoyed, though :\
Posted by Rdh2MrsOMFS[/QUOTE]

I am moving. Away from MY family and closer to HIS! BOO! :(

Rdh2MrsOMFS

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_january-2012-weddings_future-family-annoyances-vent-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:5a1804e7-e8c8-4829-9e61-b9d49f3a9b5fDiscussion:4fdd2035-7ab9-45a9-80e2-efabddba3a6bPost:100a2b5c-a805-4ca3-8d47-57cafb6b92d1">Re: Future family annoyances (vent and long!)</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Future family annoyances (vent and long!) : I am moving. Away from MY family and closer to HIS! BOO! :(
Posted by Kate504[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>OH NO Kate, I'm so sorry. I thought it was the other way around... D:

</div>

awarm014

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_january-2012-weddings_future-family-annoyances-vent-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:5a1804e7-e8c8-4829-9e61-b9d49f3a9b5fDiscussion:4fdd2035-7ab9-45a9-80e2-efabddba3a6bPost:30961696-2add-4310-812e-787bf84b51dc">Re: Future family annoyances (vent and long!)</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Future family annoyances (vent and long!) : OH NO Kate, I'm so sorry. I thought it was the other way around... D:
Posted by Rdh2MrsOMFS[/QUOTE]
OH NO is right! I am sorry they feel the need to act like this. I would probably give them the gifts you already bought, and not bring it up that you weren't invited to the shower. People bother me that spend money on stuff other than what they need. Good luck!