January 2012 Weddings

When can I involve the bridesmaids?

Hi Everyone,
I've been reading the boards for a long time, and really enjoy the opinions offered. Now I'm asking my own question... My fiance and I got engaged on my birthday in June, and everyone was very excited. After about a month we asked our wedding party to take part in the wedding and set a date, Jan. 28, 2012. Everyone agreed, and they are excited, but many people said it was really far away (we booked 18 months out)... Since then, when we go to events I am very careful to avoid talking about the wedding too often. I don't want to be the girl that focuses only on herself/wedding. When we've gone to meet new babies/christenings/house warmings I don't bring it up. Now I feel weird even mentioning it to my bridesmaids, even thought I am making my fiance and my mom CRAZY with all the details I have been sharing with them. My question it this... Can I start emailing the girls dresses and ideas now? Or should I wait until January when it will be only a year away? I don't want to make them regret being a part of our wedding, but when I have been in weddings in the past I have been interested in the planning the entire time...

Re: When can I involve the bridesmaids?

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    No!! I'm sure they want to talk to you about it! I feel the same way-not wanting to bring it up...but EVERYONE brings it up to me! If your bridesmaids are your close friends and family-which I would assume, they shouldn't mind it! I'm getting married 1/21/12 and I feel like once that one year mark gets here time is going to fly by so I'm trying to get a head start on things now...we may as well take our extra time to our advantage! Hope this helps...Go for it!! 

    And if you fiance is anything like mine...he's sick of the wedding talk already, so talk with your girls! :D
    TTC since January 2012. Me: 24 & DH: 30

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    I haven't formally asked my girls yet...I probably won't do that until at least January. But I have been sharing dress talk/wedding talk with the girls who are my roommates right now. It just depends how comfortable you are with it...just don't swamp them. I usually go a few weeks between times when I show them stuff, so I don't think they've minded at all. 
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    Similar to JCM, I'm kind of sporatically mentioning things to my BMs and MOH. They are excited about things and I think the fact that we are so busy with our lives makes it easier to go longer periods of time without talking too much wedding. I probably won't involve them too much until the beginning of next year, I hope they don't get sick of me after that! ;)
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    I wouldn't worry about mentioning it to your girls. Here and there I think it will just help them get excited as time goes on, but I'd wait till it was within a year to really start the downpour of ideas Laughing

    Also, keep in mind that a dress you love now may not be available in 6 months so don't set your heart on anything! I'm in the same boat where I'm trying to remain "in like" with things so im not heartbroken if i can't get them down the road.
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    I think you can involve your bridesmaids any time you want! If you have something specific that needs to get done and you want help with, or they are asking what can they do to help, by all means involve them. It's part of their job (just don't push off ALL the work on them).
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    Kate504Kate504 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2010
    I'm asking the people who I want to be my BMs in a few weeks. They are mostly relatives and only 2 friends, but they already know that they will be in the wedding, asking is just a formailty.

    I have been just asking for advice of certain dresses and venues I like and just different ideas that I have had in general, nothing big. I really don't plan on having them doing DIY stuff. I will probably make my programs myself and if anyone will help it will be my sister. I wont have too much time to do DIY b/c I'm in school.

    I plan on getting stuff done early.
    BFP #1 6/18/2012 // EDD 2/28/2013 // Birthdate 2/7/2013

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    You're just over a year out, which I believe is when the majority of the planning must be taking place to ensure things coming into place properly.  So, time wise, I think you're good to start getting down to it.

    Just remember, (not my words, but I think it's effective) 'nobody cares about your wedding as much as you do'.  Yes, friends & close families will always be more interested, but everybody does have their own life going on concurrently.

    Also, the only 'requirement/duty' of the bridal party, is to wear what you decide & show up the day of the wedding.  Although, it is nice to have a bridal shower, bachelorette party, girls' nites doing favors, etc, it is not required & should not be expected (at the risk of feeling let down).

    Sorry to sound harsh, but I think that's the best way I've heard those guidelines expressed.  Good luck & have fun!!!
    When we walk to the edge of all the light we have and take the step into the darkness of the unknown, we must believe that one of two things must happen: There will be something solid for us to stand on, or we will be taught to fly. -Patrick Overton
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    You know, I have really just asked the people I wanted in the wedding and let them know a few dresses that I like. We are going to actually go look probably this spring...about the same time I start looking at dresses...

    PP, you are right...no one cares about a wedding as much as the bride. And I always have to keep that in perspective and not gush too much when I am asked about it. :) It's really sad when you can just see people getting bored with you! :)
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