Not An Easy Thing To Think About....

lovealwaysfindsaway8202011

So, my FI's car caught on fire last week, leaving us without a vehicle. We've been scrambling to find one but we can't afford to pay cash for something outright, don't have anyone to borrow that amount of money from and we've tried three different car places to get fiancing and we can't. That and we are still living with our parents and my step-dad wants us out. FI and I talked about *possibly* postponing our wedding until we get everything under control. Part of me doesn't want to because we've looked forward to this date for over a year but another part of me does because we're going to be in over ears in debt pretty soon here.

I just don't know what to do. It's such a hard decision to make.

sassygirl5401

Is there a way to compromise on the wedding? Maybe just have a ceremony with only close family and then have a celebration down the road when you are financially stable?

Is there a drive time car place by you? From what I understand they will finance anyone, no matter what your credit. Is it possible to have someone co-sign for you on a car?

I really hope this all works out for you!

lovealwaysfindsaway8202011

Problem with having a small ceremony and then a reception is that we will lose the deposit on our reception space. If we postpone, but keep the same place we don't lose it.

There's not a place like that, but there are ones similar to it, and same story...claim they can get anyone approved, and we don't every. single. time.

Cosign--no. Either no one will do it or parents can't due to credit issues.

TaraW1979

My advice to you is to talk it over with your FI and figure out what is best. I was at first going to say, "No, don't postpone it!" But I can't say that because I don't know your situation in detail. I wish you luck with the decision; I'm sure it's not an easy one to make. 

shellyamf

That is such a hard decision.  I really want to say "don't postpone" but at the same time I fully understand not wanting to get into that much more debt.  I agree with PP about really going over everything with FI to decide.  It sounds like postponing could be a feasible option if you keep the same place, in that you won't lose a lot of money.

Rdh2MrsOMFS

I would not get married if I could not afford to live on my own.  Good luck!

hippolover

Is it more money to postpone the wedding? I know with deposites, dress fittings and all that.

Remember that you may get money for the wedding, so that would be a down payment on a car. I don't say that to be like you are forsure getting money, but it is something to consider?

What about putting off the HM to save money?

blue1981

I would definitely postpone it until you are on your feet financially and have moved into your own place.

lovealwaysfindsaway8202011

HM is already being put off for at least six months, probably more.

I guess I'm just about at my wit's end and sick of being judged by everyone. = (

sassygirl5401

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_january-2012-weddings_not-easy-thing-think?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:5a1804e7-e8c8-4829-9e61-b9d49f3a9b5fDiscussion:ed29b0d2-2cbc-479d-ad0a-4c619fed728bPost:87726953-3842-4ebe-8f73-6f14f2204207">Re: Not An Easy Thing To Think About....</a>:
[QUOTE]HM is already being put off for at least six months, probably more. I guess I'm just about at my wit's end and sick of being judged by everyone. = (
Posted by lovealwaysfindsaway8202011[/QUOTE]

Understandable about being at your wits end. At the end of the day, what others think of you does not matter. You ultimately know what is best for you and the same with your FI.

I say go with what your gut is telling you! We'll be here to support you no matter what.

lovealwaysfindsaway8202011

The Knot needs a "like" button like Facebook.= )

shannon41885

This is definately a tough decision, I would too say dont postpone but at the same time what are your options?

Forgive me, I know alot of people here are in school, what is your situation? borth working, both in school, one of each? Can you and Fi get an apartment near work/school that you can go w/out a car? I know this isnt an option everywhere. Money issues are the worst ::hugs your way:: keep your head up and we're here to help with whatever we can.

lovealwaysfindsaway8202011

Shannon--we both are working right now with hopes of getting me back to school by winter 2013. He works about 45 minutes away from where I work so getting a place near there isn't really an option. The problem is we don't just need another car, we need A car. This one that caught on fire was our only one.

Luckily, we just got approved for a car payment we can afford. We have the down payment. I picked up another part time job. Plus my parents stepped up and offered to pay a good chunk of our wedding. The place to live will come after Christmas. Things are beginning to look up.

Thanks bunches guys. You have no idea.

sassygirl5401

I knew things would come together for you!

sosie&fangman

I'm always late to the game...i'm so happy that everything is starting to work out for you!! I was in a similar situation recently, so I know how frustrating it is.

Redz4145

Great to hear things are looking up

awarm014

I am greatful that it is working out... it seems like knot posts make things in the universe happen.

shannon41885

yay! great news, on with wedding planning ;-)

TaraW1979

Wonderful news! I'm so happy for you!