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January 2012 Weddings

Anyone feel like they don't fit in

Around here?  I tried Married Life and my state board on TN and still I don't feel super included like I do here.  But I feel like this board is dying. :(

I don't wanna find a new group of internet friends!!!!!!!!!!!!!

On a side not: J has decided to take that job.  Its either in TX or NM (Both 11 hrs from me)  sigh, its going to be a long year.

Re: Anyone feel like they don't fit in

  • I tried the Nest and didn't feel like I fit in.  I did leave this board just because it felt weird still coming to the Knot when I'm married.  I've recently been stopping by again though since I know some of us are still here. 

    That sucks about the 11 hours apart.  Hopefully the year passes quickly for you.
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  • We need a new place to meet?  We could all go over to the married board?  I don't go on the proboards, just the normal TN boards. 
  • I'm the same.  I was just over there looking at what options there were.  Sadly I have no suggestions.  But I don't mind coming back to this board. 

    I just really want a nap right now.  I've got a headache from my allergies and I'm dreading class tonight. 
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  • Yes, I know how you feel. I tried TN and got into a big fight with the GP board. They were terrible to me so I never want to go back there.

    There is an anniversary board for January 2012 but it says no posts when I click on it and I don't think it allowed me to post. I wonder how we can it it to work. Maybe Mark knows.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_january-2012-weddings_anyone-feel-like-they-dont-fit-in?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:5a1804e7-e8c8-4829-9e61-b9d49f3a9b5fDiscussion:ef448ee5-2670-4045-9c9c-da66be87dff6Post:2eb19c20-618b-4c2b-9cc7-0a88f4119138">Anyone feel like they don't fit in</a>:
    [QUOTE] On a side not: J has decided to take that job.  Its either in TX or NM (Both 11 hrs from me)  sigh, its going to be a long year.
    Posted by hippolover[/QUOTE]

    WHAT?! I must have missed something. Why would he take a job 11 hours from you?
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  • I am down to going there... I lurk A LOT on there. GP, ML, CO board, Buying a house, S and R. I just like to read about people's lives.  I think thats why I am a counselor. 

    Tara-I posted about it a few days ago. I am going to go to see if I can find it so I don't retype the whole thing
  • Well I can't find it. I know I was talking to Mark about this...
    Anyways...H has been out of school since 2010. He graduated with a B.S. in Geology. He just can't find work in the field.  I just gradated in May with a dual M.S. in Clinical Counseling and School Counseling.  I was offered a job the night before I graduated to be a school counselor in eastern CO. 

    J got a job in NM or TX (He needs to decide which place he wants to work) one month after I got my job.  60,000/yr. Working 24 on and 24 off the whole week for a grand total of 96 hours.  Personally, I think he would die. So there isn't really time to visit each other as he would be working/sleeping all weekend.

     Anyways its 11 hours from my new job. I have signed my contract yet, but I am excited about the job and don't really want to not take it.  I offered to move down there in 1 yr when school ended. He doesn't think that we can make it as a couple. I think we could make it but it would be hard. As much as I don't want him to move, I don't want to be the reason he doesn't take a job.  So we decided to give it a shot.  He is moving down there July 16th. I move into my place June 28th. So we will have 2 week together which is nice I guess.

    At what point to we give up our careers to be with the one we love? Are we crazy?

  • edited June 2012
    See I missed this as well.  That's what I get for being away forever.  Wow.  That is a tough decision.  Currently I'd say that I'd give up my job to be with DH, but it's also not my dream job or something that would lead to my dream job. 

    I think if you can make it work then it's worth it for both of you to pursue your careers.  I'm not sure if it's possible, but maybe over the holidays or long weekends you could go visit him.  Even if you only see each other for a few hours between him working and sleeping, you'd get to see each other.

    What happens if you sign your contract and X months down the road you decide it's better for you and DH if you moved there? I'm just curious.  I'm not trying to send bad vibes or anything.
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  • J did say that if this doesn't work...he would be the one to quit.  This is my dream job.  BUT I can work anywhere in the USA.  This is not J's dream job now but it could lead to it.

    I will say this...J moved me out there so he could go to school.  I do not resent him for this but I had a good life in MN. 6 months later, he decided it wasn't a good fit.  I just don't want the same thing to happen and be out an awesome job. I did 60 some applications.  I only got one interview.  So I feel like a complete idiot if I walk away from this.
  • edited June 2012
    I think you've covered all the options.  You know which of you would quit if it came to that.  And it sounds like you taking this job is the best option since it is your dream job.  But the 11 hour difference does suck.

    I really hope it works out for you guys.  :)  - meaning the job situation. 
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  • Thanks.  I can honestly, say that I have no idea if we are making the right decision.  We have people giving their input left and right.  We don't mind, but we wonder how much are they really considering ALL of the options. They money will be nice as we can actually afford a home wherever we decide to live and pay down some of those students loans.  I know its bad to think of that aspect and I would rather be dirt poor and be with J than rich without him. BUT with over 100,000 in student loans, it just feels like we'll never get our feet on the ground.
  • Wow. This is crazy but it seems like you guys have talked it over and figured it out. It just seems so sad. I know I could never be without DH. No way, no how, but that's just me. I wish you lots of luck!
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  • Sigh, I wonder if I am the same way and just giving in?  Guess we'll see.
  • Good luck.  I tried to get Joy to take the job in DC and I would follow.  She didn't and we're both still here.  While I'm glad we're together, I wish it was in DC and not here.
  • It seems like you have put a lot of thought into your decision, so that's good. My friend had to live apart from her husband for a few years while they were going to schools in different states. It was hard for them, but they made it work and are still going strong. She just recently gave birth to twins. I hope everything works out for you two as well!
  • edited June 2012
    It is about how well you communicate and keep assessing the situation as you go. I was prepared to spend a lot of time away from H because he was going to be going into the military. I am glad I don't have to now, but you have a long time to be together, and a year will go really fast. I say go for it, and start submitting applications for the areas around him, just incase, you might find something since you can go anywhere.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_january-2012-weddings_anyone-feel-like-they-dont-fit-in?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:5a1804e7-e8c8-4829-9e61-b9d49f3a9b5fDiscussion:ef448ee5-2670-4045-9c9c-da66be87dff6Post:2d8597dd-5630-43e8-9253-73e8d207a881">Re: Anyone feel like they don't fit in</a>:
    [QUOTE]It is about how well you communicate and keep assessing the situation as you go. I was prepared to spend a lot of time away from H because he was going to be going into the military. I am glad I don't have to now, but you have a long time to be together, and a year will go really fast. I say go for it, and start submitting applications for the areas around him, just incase, you might find something since you can go anywhere.
    Posted by awarm014[/QUOTE]

    Thanks everyone. I will probably be leaning on you a lot as we aren't telling a lot of our friend because I am tired of being called a bad wife.

    Alyssa-What happened with H going into the military?
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.weddingchannel.com/main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_january-2012-weddings_anyone-feel-like-they-dont-fit-in?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:5a1804e7-e8c8-4829-9e61-b9d49f3a9b5fDiscussion:ef448ee5-2670-4045-9c9c-da66be87dff6Post:cd0138fb-861c-41de-b6f4-a49682801166">Re: Anyone feel like they don't fit in</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Anyone feel like they don't fit in : Thanks everyone. I will probably be leaning on you a lot as we aren't telling a lot of our friend because I am tired of being called a bad wife.
    Posted by hippolover[/QUOTE]

    This was the thing that frustrated me.  Joy asked everyone from her mom to her best friends and they all told her she needed to stay with her husband.  On one level I agree with this, but the intent was that I would find a job and follow her.
  • Mark-Sorry you are having to go through the same thing.
  • He was in ROTC, and for as long as I have known him, I always thought his sleeping was odd. He switched from his peditricitan at my urging about halfway through college. New doctor sent him for a sleep study, and he was diagnosed with narcolepsy, which basically means he can fall asleep anywhere. He told the ROTC uppers, and they discharged him. At least he didn't have to pay any of his scholarship back though.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.weddingchannel.com/main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_january-2012-weddings_anyone-feel-like-they-dont-fit-in?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:5a1804e7-e8c8-4829-9e61-b9d49f3a9b5fDiscussion:ef448ee5-2670-4045-9c9c-da66be87dff6Post:35ea6a78-adb1-490b-ba34-20743b0c4a20">Re: Anyone feel like they don't fit in</a>:
    [QUOTE]He was in ROTC, and for as long as I have known him, I always thought his sleeping was odd. He switched from his peditricitan at my urging about halfway through college. New doctor sent him for a sleep study, and he was diagnosed with narcolepsy, which basically means he can fall asleep anywhere. He told the ROTC uppers, and they discharged him. At least he didn't have to pay any of his scholarship back though.
    Posted by ImperiumWife[/QUOTE]

    That sucks! :(  The sad thing is there are a lot of military jobs he could have done, but the military doesn't work like that. :(
  • I know, he would like to try to get a military contract job doing some sort of research. At least he feels like he has fulfilled his duty to his country by trying, and isn't upset over it.
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