XP: Jack and Jill b party

steeser03

are you having your bachelor(ette) parties together? how would you feel about being invited to one? fi thinks he wants to do this, i dont so much care since mine was just going to be dinner and going out for the evening. im just worried that with all the couples that we invite our invite list is going to be about 35 people. is that too much? if we do the jack and jill b party whats the etiquette on inviting couples? if a wife/gf is on my list and the husband/bf isnt on fi's do they both get invited and vice versa? for the most part we have the same mutual friends, but for my work girlfriends, fi doesnt know their husbands and wouldnt invite them under normal circumstances. And the 35 doesn’t include all couples. i just feel like if they dont get invited there might be hard feelings, but i dont really know if i care or not. WWYD?

K-hart

We're not having a J&J B-party. We really just wanted that time to spend with either our bridesmaids or groomsmen. I have a great group of girls taking me to the beach for an entire weekend and even though I love my FI to death, I really want to spend this time with my girls. If I were to have a J&J party, The only people I would invite would be my bridal party and their dates. That would be a max of 16 people. 35 people is way too much for me. I would feel pressured to mingle with everyone and dinner would be a disaster waiting for hours to get served. it's just not my thing. I think it could be done if it were simplified, btu even the idea of going out with more than 10 people for dinner makes me want to pull my hair out.

K-hart

Also, I wanted to add one more thing. My friends did this four years ago. The bridal party all chipped in and everyone went to Atlantic City for the weekend. It was just the bride, groom, bridesmaids & groomsmen. It was a lot of fun and just the right amount of people!!!!! Everyone went to dinner, the boys stayed in the casino's and the girls went to some clubs. everyone met back up at the end of the night.

steeser03

i think i decided that if we do it we're going to do where the gals meet at x location at 7 pm and men meet at y location at 7 pm then at 9:30 everyone meets at z bar. i think its way easier to get 30+ people together at a bar than at a restaurant. then its still a little separate but also together. i just am stuck on the guest list part, whether its appropriate to only invite the ladies i want or if i should invite all significant others of the men too, and vice versa.

K-hart

I wouldn't invite sig others unless you were friends with them too (or your FI is). I would extend the invite to your friends and they may choose to bring their sig other nayway, or they may choose to go alone. The nice thing about meeting in a bar is that everyone pays for their own drinks! You probably won't even notice if someone brings an extra someone else.

MeowsAlot

I'm not having one because my girls don't have time for me right now   blah...FI's is this weekend...<shudders>BUT if I were, this would be great! As for inviting sig others, I think the invitation should be open.  It is you and your fi's party, but wouldn't you want to meet the people the people in your wedding (or involved with your wedding) care about too?  I think if I were out celebrating someone else's relationship, and there were other couples around me, I'd want my other half there, too.  Maybe that's just me.  I can understand not wanting people you don't know go along to the first places you go with just your girls (I would actually hate that because it would just be awkward...), but maybe they could meet up when you all meet up so you and your friends don't have to make friends with strangers and have your girls night at the same time?  They wouldn't have to be directly invited, but maybe you could mention that it would be nice to meet their sig other later in the evening so your friends know not to bring them along to the first places.  Oh, ettiquette...

BrassyClarinet

My FI was just the best man for a friend's wedding, and they had a J&J party at a local coffee shop that they rented out for the night. IT was great; they had snacks, coffee drinks, and played 'mr. and mrs.' jeopardy. It was just the bridal party and the bride and groom. FI said it was a blast. I definitely want to do one for us.