Ministers

ladybugmikki

I am currently planning a wedding for the long weekend in Sept '11 and am looking for a minister. We are going to already be married in the Catholic church on the friday but it is a small family ceremony. Our reception held on the following Sunday at the Ancaster Mill, with an outdoor ceremony where we will be needing a minister. The mill does have their own minister however we have heard both good and bad things, so not sure about booking him. We will already be legally married by then so I'm not sure if we even need an ordained person to perform the ceremony, however I'm a little scared about having someone who has never done this before. Any advice?

ring_pop

Honestly, I would advise skipping the fake ceremony all together and just have the reception. It seems kind of pointless to me. Alternatively, have your reception on the same Friday night and invite everyone to the Catholic ceremony.

Trust me - after you're married for real on the Friday, it just won't feel the same to go through the motions again on Sunday. And what would it really mean to your guests to witness that if you're already married anyway?

ladybugmikki

To be honest, the Catholic ceremony is more for the parents... my wish to get married in a destination wedding but we decided to stay here to fulfill their wishes. Our outdoor ceremony is my wish, the closest i will get to going away, and I absolutely fell in love with the location. 
We are only having about 10 ppl at the catholic ceremony and everyone else is invited to the outdoor ceremony, which to me, is the "real wedding" date.

ring_pop

I just don't think you should take the Catholic wedding so lightly. Not only will you be legally married, but you'll both also be receiving a Sacrament. You'll be going through marriage prep and various meetings with your priest, and I find it hard to swallow that you'll be receiving the Sacrament with your hearts not really believing that it's your "real" wedding. You'll be saying your vows in front of the priest and in front of God - are you not going to mean it?

I'm sorry if I sound judgey but I really find this hard to swallow.

Anyway, to answer your original question - have you at least talked to the minister at Ancaster Mills? I'm not even sure what a minister would say to performing a fake ceremony like that.

Littlin

I have to agree with ringy, only because I got married in a Catholic Church and it meant a lot to me.  I would only do the church wedding for YOU - having a sacrament is important, and something you want to do for yourselves, not to please your parents.  You could always get a blessing of the marriage by a Catholic priest later on instead of the ceremony, and have your outdoor wedding instead!

lipshtix

Agree with all the PPs 

Although I am not religious and am getting married outside, the sanctity of marriage is still something not to be taken lightly, or done to please your parents. Like Littlin said, it won't feel the same as it would if you do it twice in one weekend. 

If marrying in a Catholic church is what your parents want, and not you, maybe you should talk to them about it and find out what they would think about having the wedding blessed by the priest. 

xo 

ladybugmikki

I appreciate all the advice and I don't mean to sound as though the Catholic ceremony means nothing to us, afterall we are both Catholic and do attend church regularly. I've just always envisioned an outdoor wedding and since this is not possible with our church and the priest, who we absolutely love where we attend now, cannot be part of it, we just need recommendations on someone to perform the ceremony.Both ceremonies are important to us in different ways. 

All parties involved are okay with the two ceremonies, including ourselves, however I guess I was more curious as to the logistics of the second ceremony.
We have an acquaintance who did the exact same schedule but my fiance has not had the opportunity to ask him how they went about it. I have spoken to a friend who needed to get married here in the Catholic church before her destination wedding for the same reasons regarding family and she doesn't regret her decision to do both.

Of course we know we will be married already but we don't mind getting married twice! Instead of renewing our vows 1 yr later or 5 yrs we are doing it 2 days later!

StephieBow

It is a shame that priests won't perform marriages outside of the church walls.   I always dreamed of having an outdoor wedding but, the Catholic Ceremony was important to my FI so that's what we are doing.  So, I do understand why both are important to you!

That said, if you are already married, I'm not sure you really need someone who is ordained.  I'm not sure of the logistics of this but, would your priest conduct the outdoor ceremony knowing that you are already married in the eyes of the church and that it is more of a unity ceremony?  Probably not but, just a thought since you have what appears to be a good relationship with your priest.

mattycam

I have seen a second ceremony performed twice (the couple were legally married out of town and did a ceremony/reception for the locals). I think they had a pastor bless or reaffirm their union. I am not too sure of what the second ceremony consisted of (I was one of the servers/hostesses for the event) but I am sure there are pastors out there that can do something along the lines of a reaffirmation of the marriage?

Littlin

You probably don't need an officiant to do this second ceremony - it might be fun to have a friend or family member reaaffirm your vows instead?