Taking your husband's last name?

theredskittle

Girls, I am torn. 

Are you taking his name, keeping yours, or hyphenating?

Littlin

I'm assuming FI's name, not legally changing it.

jenibradley

I am taking his name.  As much as it doesn't really matter to me what my last name is, I figure its generally easier.  It eliminates the confusion as to if you're married or not, and especially if you have children.  I think I would feel left out if they took his name and I didn't.  I know a name doesn't determine if you're a family or not, but it works for me!

ring_pop

I assumed his name.

I've always wanted to have the same name as my husband, and I like his name and am glad I did it... but I will admit that for a while, I was pretty bitter that he didn't have to go through all the hassle that I did.

JessS55

I'm assuming it every where but at work.  We work in the same industry and he has a really unique last name, it would be super obvious I was his wife which could be a bit awkward.

lalap69

I'm keeping my name.  It's my name and I've had it my whole life and I don't feel like who I am should change just because I'm getting married.  Plus, FI's last name is very common whereas mine is unusual, and since I have a commont first name, I feel like I would lose the only part of my name that I actually like.

Ninica_84

I'm hyphenating the names, so I'll just add his last name to mine. I have a short first and last name so it's no big deal, but at work I'll probably just use my last name. Ring_pop, how long did it take you to do all of the name change stuff? I don't even know where to begin or how to do this.

ring_pop

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_canada-toronto_taking-husbands-last-name?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:613Discussion:2bb31a16-f342-4a21-a077-8c0e0640b1a0Post:8b859658-a1fc-4880-bf98-287759271ae4">Re: Taking your husband's last name?</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm hyphenating the names, so I'll just add his last name to mine. I have a short first and last name so it's no big deal, but at work I'll probably just use my last name. Ring_pop, how long did it take you to do all of the name change stuff? I don't even know where to begin or how to do this.
Posted by Ninica_84[/QUOTE]

Oh it was such a pain. I think I only got everything done last week, but that's just because there were so many places I needed to visit and people to call, I procrastinated. Also, I couldn't even get the process started until my marriage certificate came in, about 3 months after the wedding... so the whole process so far took from about December till about February.

These are the steps I took:

1. Visited my bank to change all bank and investment accounts, and subsequently had to mail them all sorts of forms.
2. Called credit card companies
3. Visited Service Ontario to change driver's license and health card
4. Visited Service Canada to change SIN card
5. Called home and car insurance companies to change name on their records
6. Requested my credit reports from Equifax and Trans Union to make sure my records were updated, and ended up submitting a form to request an update
7. Submitted a change of marital status form to the Canada Revenue Agency and called them to have my name changed
8. Notified my employer
9. Notified the cell phone company so that my new name would appear on people's caller ID

I think that's it! I haven't even changed my passport yet... waiting till it expires.

Certain places will accept the short form that you get on the day of the wedding, but others require the long form which takes a while to be processed. Some places require other pieces of ID, other forms or letters, so it's always a good idea to call them up and ask what they need.

Ninica_84

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_canada-toronto_taking-husbands-last-name?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:613Discussion:2bb31a16-f342-4a21-a077-8c0e0640b1a0Post:cb6ab893-66d4-4ee6-b020-3e91b4568881">Re: Taking your husband's last name?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Taking your husband's last name? : Oh it was such a pain. I think I only got everything done last week, but that's just because there were so many places I needed to visit and people to call, I procrastinated. Also, I couldn't even get the process started until my marriage certificate came in, about 3 months after the wedding... so the whole process so far took from about December till about February. These are the steps I took: 1. Visited my bank to change all bank and investment accounts, and subsequently had to mail them all sorts of forms. 2. Called credit card companies 3. Visited Service Ontario to change driver's license and health card 4. Visited Service Canada to change SIN card 5. Called home and car insurance companies to change name on their records 6. Requested my credit reports from Equifax and Trans Union to make sure my records were updated, and ended up submitting a form to request an update 7. Submitted a change of marital status form to the Canada Revenue Agency and called them to have my name changed 8. Notified my employer 9. Notified the cell phone company so that my new name would appear on people's caller ID I think that's it! I haven't even changed my passport yet... waiting till it expires. Certain places will accept the short form that you get on the day of the wedding, but others require the long form which takes a while to be processed. Some places require other pieces of ID, other forms or letters, so it's always a good idea to call them up and ask what they need.
Posted by ring_pop[/QUOTE]

Thank you so much, I am definitely not lloking forward to dealing with all of these places and people but I guess it has to be done.

fireflyz56

ring_pop, I was just looking at this on the Ontario website too... so did you just take the "assumed name" route? I'm confused as to which one is better to do, assuming the name or legally changing it. Assuming the name looks like you end up at the same place, but with less paperwork??

Littlin

Yes - assuming leaves your birth certificate as is.  Legally changing your name actually gives a new birth certificate with your new last name.  It is less paperwork, and I like the idea that my birth certificate remains the same (since I was born with that last name, and not FI's).

Skittle - what is making you torn with this decision?  It is a very personal choice - don't do what everyone else is doing - do what you'd like to do!  Everyone has different reasons for making their choice, as will you.

ring_pop

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_canada-toronto_taking-husbands-last-name?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:613Discussion:2bb31a16-f342-4a21-a077-8c0e0640b1a0Post:67d9329d-8ac9-40fb-9c68-210992b50c1c">Re: Taking your husband's last name?</a>:
[QUOTE]ring_pop, I was just looking at this on the Ontario website too... so did you just take the "assumed name" route? I'm confused as to which one is better to do, assuming the name or legally changing it. Assuming the name looks like you end up at the same place, but with less paperwork??
Posted by fireflyz56[/QUOTE]

Yes, I assumed his name. It means that proof of marriage is enough to allow you to *use* the new last name, but legally, your maiden name is still YOU. So you can change it back any time (whether or not you're still married). It also means, for example, that I can continue to use my passport and hold my current mortgage under my maiden name, etc.

Honestly, I'm really glad that in Ontario we have the opportunity to just assume the name. In a way, it made it a little easier for me to decide to take his name, knowing that technically/legally, my maiden name is still my name. I see no reason to make the legal change.

jennconn7

I am also having a very hard time with this choice.
I truly want to keep my last name, but I am scared I will regret it later on in life when I have kids.
It also does not help that his parents dont agree with me keeping my name.
What to do? what to do?

Littlin

You don't have to make the choice immediately - you can decide to change your name (or change it back) at any point.  Take your time and decide what's best for you!

angiembonilla

I am taking my FI's name but the crappy part is, is that my passport expires in November when we are on our honeymoon so this means that I will have a fresh "maiden" named passport....

not sure if I am going to go through that change again so soon after we get married.

ughh... LOL

lalap69

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_canada-toronto_taking-husbands-last-name?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:613Discussion:2bb31a16-f342-4a21-a077-8c0e0640b1a0Post:54a70d6f-b18c-46f6-baa3-a69831999d4e">Re: Taking your husband's last name?</a>:
[QUOTE]I am also having a very hard time with this choice. I truly want to keep my last name, but I am scared I will regret it later on in life when I have kids. It also does not help that his parents dont agree with me keeping my name. What to do? what to do?
Posted by jennconn7[/QUOTE]
I've known a lot of couples with kids who have separate last names and as far as I know it's never been a big deal.  You could always give them both your last names.  (I know a few people with hyphenated last names from their parents.)  Last names don't make a family - people do.

As well, it's not up to his parents, it's up to you.  Your name is a pretty personal thing.  I worry about the precedent it sets, giving it up because it's what they want.  It may make them think that they get to have input into all areas of your life, like how you raise your kids.

If you want to take his last name, you have every right to do that, but it sounds like your name is really important to you, and ultimately it's your name and your choice.  I hope you make the right choice for you.

Littlin

I would keep your name until you are sure, and when you have kids, if you decide you made a mistake, you can change it then!  It's much easier to wait and make sure you know what you want, rather than change it and have to change it back, or regret the change entirely!

rkto

isnt the paperwork free for one year after the wedding? that may make you want to decide earlier.
I am going to keep my name because I like my name and I have worked with this name for 6 yrs and my license is in my maiden name. however, socially I plan to go by his name.  But none of my paperwork will say his name. 

ring_pop

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_canada-toronto_taking-husbands-last-name?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:613Discussion:2bb31a16-f342-4a21-a077-8c0e0640b1a0Post:c817db23-8697-4dcf-8399-c4421472d806">Re: Taking your husband's last name?</a>:
[QUOTE]isnt the paperwork free for one year after the wedding? that may make you want to decide earlier.
Posted by rkto[/QUOTE]

If you're assuming his name, the paperwork is free any time you want to do it. You just need to pay to get the marriage certificate.

Sunny0710

I am still a little confused by the "assuming" thing... this means you change all of your documents, except your birth cert? What about your driver's license and passport?

Littlin

Yes - you change everything but your birth certificate, pretty much, which is the hardest to change.

kiky23

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_canada-toronto_taking-husbands-last-name?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:613Discussion:2bb31a16-f342-4a21-a077-8c0e0640b1a0Post:03de0319-16ec-4c22-8778-db1187b069e4">Re: Taking your husband's last name?</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm keeping my name.  It's my name and I've had it my whole life and I don't feel like who I am should change just because I'm getting married.  Plus, FI's last name is very common whereas mine is unusual, and since I have a commont first name, I feel like I would lose the only part of my name that I actually like.
Posted by lalap69[/QUOTE]

I know this exact feeling!!! He has a super common last name and I have a very unusual one! I love my last name! It's a part of who I am. I actually want to hyphenate our names but he's throwing a hissy fit because he thinks I should take his last name. (He's incedibly traditional and I am not. :D)

Nukke

I'll definitely be "assuming" FI's name.  I love my last name, but I know I'll love his too.  ~

theredskittle

I think I am leaning towards assuming his last name...it gets complicated though, because we are thinking of moving to the states. Does this mean that I would have to legally change it in order for it to be recognized over there? Either way, we are thinking of making the move fairly soon, so it might be a bit more of a headache than if we were just staying in Ontario...

Alice81410

Wow, thanks for the info about the option of assuming the last name, ring_pop! Like you, I've always wanted to take the traditional route and take my fiance's last name, but have been feeling slightly bummed lately at the thought of losing my maiden name. At least this option lets me keep my identity!

APW2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_canada-toronto_taking-husbands-last-name?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:613Discussion:2bb31a16-f342-4a21-a077-8c0e0640b1a0Post:a5830229-17ae-4be9-b40e-33d29dc52c8a">Re: Taking your husband's last name?</a>:
[QUOTE]I think I am leaning towards assuming his last name...it gets complicated though, because we are thinking of moving to the states. Does this mean that I would have to legally change it in order for it to be recognized over there? Either way, we are thinking of making the move fairly soon, so it might be a bit more of a headache than if we were just staying in Ontario...
Posted by theredskittle[/QUOTE]

I'm not sure about the States, but definitely some provinces don't accept an Assumed name change... so it is something to keep in mind if you don't plan to stay in Ontario forever.

I am going to change my name. I've done the process before though as the name my parents put on my birth certificate was never the family name I used. It was a little annoying to change but really there's not a big difference in the amount of work between assuming the name or changing it, the really annoying part is all the organizations you have to contact and you'd do that either way.

mattycam

I would love to take my FI last name but I think it is better for me to hyphenate (even though his last name is quite long). The reason why I say this is because I have a child from a previous relationship that has my maiden name. I don't know the legalities of it all but for travelling purposes wouldn't it be better that I keep my maiden name "around" for the sake of my child to avoid issues? Please advise, thanks!