Canada-Ontario

anyone having a buck and doe?

just curious if anyone is having a buck and doe, stag and doe, jack and jill,???
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Re: anyone having a buck and doe?

  • Jewel224Jewel224 member
    First Anniversary First Comment Combo Breaker
    edited April 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_canada-toronto_anyone-having-a-buck-and-doe?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:613Discussion:3e8f7c1b-e520-4acf-8ad2-4a9ae8f8bb03Post:4ca444d1-0314-4364-a2e1-5ada77d325fd">Re: anyone having a buck and doe?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: anyone having a buck and doe? : My family is Italian and a stag like that would *never* be okay. We've never had any kind of fundraiser for a wedding in our family. It would be hugely frowned upon.
    Posted by dokchampa[/QUOTE]
    Dokchampa - to also be fair, you are in L.A. - things likely are very different over there.  Please keep in mind that here in Toronto, it's very rare here to have an Italian wedding without have a stag where tickets cost as I stated.  For example, I'm from a Filipino background and in our circles, a stag is unheard of.  We'd never think to ever do something like that. So I am in agreeance with you.

    Now that being said my female cousin is marrying into an Italian family.  Her fiance's family threw him a stag and tickets were $80 - about 100 people attended.  Most of my male relatives attended to show support for my cousin, but normally, we wouldn't even think of attending because of what it represents to us.
    That just goes to show you how customs are different depending on your ethnicity.
  • edited April 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_canada-toronto_anyone-having-a-buck-and-doe?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:613Discussion:3e8f7c1b-e520-4acf-8ad2-4a9ae8f8bb03Post:9d8580e6-005d-4457-80c1-d8afaa279fab">Re: anyone having a buck and doe?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: anyone having a buck and doe? : Dokchampa - to also be fair, you are in L.A. - things likely are very different over there.  Please keep in mind that here in Toronto, it's very rare here to have an Italian wedding without have a stag where tickets cost as I stated.  For example, I'm from a Filipino background and in our circles, a stag is unheard of.  We'd never think to ever do something like that. So I am in agreeance with you. Now that being said my female cousin is marrying into an Italian family.  Her fiance's family threw him a stag and tickets were $80 - about 100 people attended.  Most of my male relatives attended to show support for my cousin, but normally, we wouldn't even think of attending because of what it represents to us. That just goes to show you how customs are different depending on your ethnicity.
    Posted by Jewel224[/QUOTE]

    I'm not in LA. I'm born and raised in Toronto. I've NO idea why it says LA under my name lol. Any idea how to change it? In any case, we will have to agree to disagree on this. Not all Italian families are the same.
  • I don't know if we're having one or not. My side of the family doesn't really do them, but FI's side does and I know his Mom really wants to plan one for us. They're wildly common where we grew up and still live - it's expected that you have one, and most couples do. Tickets are typically only $10-15, and then guests pay for booze, raffle tickets, and other games. 

    It is most definitely a regional and cultural thing though.
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  • Sometimes stag and doe's are necessary and not offensive. I'm having one, were having a destination wedding so it chance to have everyone who we're not inviting to have some fun celebrate with us. We're having a BBQ party, with a burger bar and waffle station and providing music. No cover or raffle tickets just some games for fun and hopes to make a little money towards our day.  Black jack, mini putt, Toonies tosses, and an auctioning of two pies in the face for the bride and groom. WE just want everyone to have fun and not feel gouged.

    We've cut back what we could but I got laid off and my finacee's business is crumbling this year under the current economy. We've already waited 5 years for the engagement were not willing to wait any longer, to make it offical because money happens to suck right now. If your friends and family love your union i'm sure they'd be happy to be there for you. And not nickel and dime you for having one.
  • It's totally a cultural thing, it's absolutley customary with the Italians.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_canada-toronto_anyone-having-a-buck-and-doe?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:613Discussion:3e8f7c1b-e520-4acf-8ad2-4a9ae8f8bb03Post:4ca444d1-0314-4364-a2e1-5ada77d325fd">Re: anyone having a buck and doe?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: anyone having a buck and doe? : My family is Italian and a stag like that would *never* be okay. We've never had any kind of fundraiser for a wedding in our family. It would be hugely frowned upon.
    Posted by dokchampa[/QUOTE]

    Really, my FI's Italian and everyone of them has had one?
  • We are having one, its next weekend actually. I think it depends on the crowd you are in, and how your family is. One my aunts said she doesn't believe in them. But I'm from a more rural area, and people do them ALL the time. Its weird if you don't have one around here. Everyone comes out to support the bride and groom. Nothing rude about it at all. They get free food, and win lots of prizes (alcohol, jays tickets, gift cards, etc.)

    Its a great time for everyone to come out and celebrate, and meet other people too!
  • We are, that is to say our bridal party is throwing one for us. Pretty common around our area. I have been to a few as well, both for friends, and people I know through good friends. I like them because:
    -Good way to get together with people you haven't seen in a while/ say congrats to the happy couple in person
    -Cheaper than the bar for drinks (instead of paying people you don't know at a bar, you are giving money to people you'd like to support)
    -Chance of winning pretty sweet prizes
    If you don't usually go to pubs or bars, I could see why the atmosphere may not attract you/ it wouldn't be your thing, but if you are going out drinking somewhere anyways, why not at a Jack and Jill?
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