Help!!!!

shaunaceyh

I know I should ask this in the etiquette section, but to be honest I find my fellow Toronto brides much less judegmental when I ask what may be a silly question

here's my current issue:
I'm doing invites (WEIRD) - for all of the people whose partners I know I am including them on the invite. My issue is, some people are not coupled at this point OR I have no idea (i.e. adult children of FIs mom's friends) if they have partners.... how do I address these invites????

I have read it's rude to to "and guest" but I have also read it's rude just name the person because it implies they can't bring anyone.

HELP ME!

gammaykella

I put "and guest" for my single guests. I read up on how to address invites in one of my wedding prep books, and it said it is fine to put guest. I think it's nice if you know that they have a significant other to find out their name and address it that way. Maybe you can contact your FI's mom to ask her friends if their children have partners. 

emmuffy

We had to email a few people regarding how to spell their partners' names -- better to ask than to misspell. We put "and guest" for the single people, and when the individual had only been dating someone for a short period of time (less than a year).

likeadeadstar

If they're in an actual relationship, you must name them.  If you're not sure, call and ask.  People are really hurt when invites come to "and guest" when they've been dating someone for years, you know?  I know I'd be really upset (and was once, when I was dating someone for nine months and called "plus one" on an invite).

If they are truly single and you are allowing plus ones for everyone, it's polite to say "and guest".

likeadeadstar

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_canada-toronto_help-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:613Discussion:8e27f2e8-4cf0-40d5-8d86-9677991f4f43Post:a9c5da18-f6b7-45bf-8e9c-a169922d97c1">Re: Help!!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]We had to email a few people regarding how to spell their partners' names -- better to ask than to misspell. We put "and guest" for the single people, and when the individual had only been dating someone for a short period of time (less than a year).
Posted by emmuffy[/QUOTE]

That's honestly kind of rude to judge a relationship as not serious if under a year; FI and I were living together after five months and engaged after eight.  If someone is dating someone and calls them their SO, they should be named.  I could understand (although it's still not etiquette) to not write names for under two months at time of invite on the grounds of "short period" (again, I stress, still impolite), but under a year?  Why is a year so magical?  I knew a couple that got married after six months just because they knew, and have been married 8 years now.

shaunaceyh

ya, I'm not picking time lines.
What I've decided to do (as per input here and FIs input) is address a couple just to the individuals (they know other people at the wedding and they're currently single). For the few (4) people that I'm not sure about I'm just putting and guest (they don't know a ton of people but aren't in serious relationships that either FI or I are aware of).
Realistically, it's only FIs invitees who this is an issue with so if there are any issues I'll make him deal with it! haha
thanks so much for all the help, you ladies are great!

Jewel224

I concur with PPs, if you know they have a signifcant other, then they must be named.  If not, it's "Miss Jane Smith and Guest". 

likeadeadstar

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_canada-toronto_help-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:613Discussion:8e27f2e8-4cf0-40d5-8d86-9677991f4f43Post:2879ce2b-784a-4749-96ea-9ffae0740ae0">Re: Help!!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]ya, I'm not picking time lines. What I've decided to do (as per input here and FIs input) is address a couple just to the individuals (they know other people at the wedding and they're currently single). For the few (4) people that I'm not sure about I'm just putting and guest (they don't know a ton of people but aren't in serious relationships that either FI or I are aware of). Realistically, it's only FIs invitees who this is an issue with so if there are any issues I'll make him deal with it! haha thanks so much for all the help, you ladies are great!
Posted by shaunaceyh[/QUOTE]

Exactly!  Make FI do a little detective work for you!  He can pitch in! ;)

Sometimes, it's as simple as Facebook profile checks.  I think that was another reason I was so ticked when I was called "plus guest" before - my name was right there on the ex's FB profile!