Just an observation

Jewel224

Has anyone been to some of the other boards on here?  I went to check out the etiquette board, and I know it's mainly Americans who post there, but I found some of the responses so...brusque and at times abrupt.  I sometimes feel like the person who made the original post is under attack.  Or is it just me?

sbonotto

I only went to the February 2012 board since that is when I'm getting married and the discussions are mainly about weather so I haven't noticed anything rude yet.  I will definitely start checking out some other boards and see what other brides are all about!
I think it's a shame though; I'm finding all of you to be so helpful and supportive, and that's what these message boards are all about!

hendersonsarah

Agreed!! I read a post about engagement parties and people essentially said it was rude and selfish to host a party yourself. They said that unless someone wants to organize a party for you, you can't organize one yourself.

I had to laugh because my fiancé and I are hosting an informal get together LOL

sharpe88

Hey, give em a break,  they're Americans

I might be wrong, but think sometimes it has to do with Southern ladies who have rather strict ideas about etiquette. I know I was attacked by one of them, anyway lol

Jewel224

That may be very true, Sharpe88 - Southern belles certainly have their etiquette rules! But one of the ones I read was about a bride who was telling a friend about their NYE's wedding plans and her friend asked her how much she had to pay b/c at another wedding, the bride and groom had everyone pay the bouncer at the door.  So she was appalled and asked if anyone had ever experienced something like that.

The responses after that then started chastising her for informing her friend about the cost per head at her wedding and for having a dollar dance for which the proceeds were going to go towards tipping the DJ and all accused her of asking for her guests for money at her wedding.  Only one or two even answered her original question.

And that's just one of the threads. Maybe they're just harder on each other in the US? I don't know...I was almost intimidated to post something on there for fear of any backlash.

Joanne1984

I rarely post on any board other than this one and my monthly board. The main reason is because the regulars on those boards can be downright rude. We had the same discussion on my month board (July2012) and someone came out and said that month and local boards are "rainbows and puppy dogs" and that the other boards are more honest.

I disagree. I have been on TheKnot for a year and I think that people who are rude choose to be rude for no reason other than the fact that they are hidden behind a computer screen. I think you can be honest and share your opinion without being rude. It's called having class. 

I am glad that we are able to keep it honest AND friendly here! Bravo ladies!

blush64

I have seen some people post rude messages for no good reason (sometimes pretty harsh) and I have seen people post things expecting a certain reply and get mad when they didn't get it. (and so assume everyone was rude because they don't agree)

As for hosting a pre-wedding party for yourself, I would go no matter who was hosting but I was also raised that you don't throw your own. (maybe the bridal party would, or relatives or friends) I see nothing wrong with giving your opinion on things as long as we all do it in a respectful way.

StephieBow

Yeah, I avoid the E board. To be honest, aside from this local board, I spend most time on my August 2011 board where the girls are fantastic and really supportive!

ring_pop

Every board definitely has its own vibe. Some are very tight & cliquey, some are more tame. Some boards have regs who have been around a LONG time and have just seen the same questions over and over a million times.

Personally, I found the month and local boards to be nicer than the big boards like Etiquette. It's always a good idea to lurk for a bit before posting!

dixie1337

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_canada-toronto_just-observation?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:613Discussion:a9a9e423-67bd-4162-bb41-719aecc09052Post:c517732a-8b93-46b1-9cc6-cf7cfeda0e8a">Re: Just an observation</a>:
[QUOTE]I rarely post on any board other than this one and my monthly board. The main reason is because the regulars on those boards can be downright rude. We had the same discussion on my month board (July2012) and someone came out and said that month and local boards are "rainbows and puppy dogs" and that the other boards are more honest. I disagree. I have been on TheKnot for a year and <strong>I think that people who are rude choose to be rude for no reason other than the fact that they are hidden behind a computer screen.</strong> I think you can be honest and share your opinion without being rude. It's called having class.  I am glad that we are able to keep it honest AND friendly here! Bravo ladies!
Posted by Joanne1984[/QUOTE]

I tend to agree. 

At any rate, it seems like the people who post about the local & month boards being all "rainbows and puppy dogs" get SO BUTT HURT about what other brides are doing.  If nothing else, their nerd rage is good for a laugh.

likeadeadstar

The larger boards have more cliques/circles of friends who are longer-term posters, and while I have seen people go off and be very abrupt, about 80% of the time, they're not wrong about the etiquette, for example - but they are being very cool in their reply at times.

I posted at Etiquette last night for the first time and everyone was super friendly in my thread.  I think it really is just knowing the tone of a subforum first, and taking the care to try and browse/search around first because answering the same things over and over is a little annoying on any board.

I also agree with the point about Southern belles - you see a lot of divergence on certain issues in Etiquette where half are very rigid and against something, and others are more lenient/have a twist on a rule they feel is "more right".  Ultimately, you can take any advice on any board with a grain of salt - you just have to be prepared to live with the consequences of your choices.