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Canada-Toronto

Broken heart

I don't know any of you personally and I don't often post here, but I have something I need to share. 
On Oct 16th my dad suddenly passed away.  The last week has been devistating and the wedding is the last thing on my mind. (Dec 11th,2010). I was very close with my dad and we had an unbreakable bond/relationship.  He was the sweetest, most loving and kind person and would have done anything for his family and really, for anyone.  He loved my fiance and wanted nothing more than to proudly walk me down the isle and see me enjoy a life full of happiness.  Now, I want nothing more than to hug him again and tell him how much I love him.  He was only 56 years old....

Please, I don't want to bring down any of you happy brides!  I'm just wondering if there is anyone else out there who has been through this or if anyone knows of support groups for young people that have lost a parent or loved one. 

Danielle

Re: Broken heart

  • ring_popring_pop member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Danielle, I am so sorry to hear about your dad :(  I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

    I haven't been through this myself so I can't say that I would totally be able to relate, but I'll help any way I can.

    If it will help you at all (even just to 'talk' things out and get things off your chest), please feel free to post here or PM me.
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  • LittlinLittlin member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I am so sorry for the loss of your father.  I have not gone through this myself.  I really wish my grandmother could have seen me on my wedding day, but I know this is not even close to losing a parent.  There were many brides on the August 2010 board that did not have a father with them on their day, and some chose to walk down the aisle with their mother or sibling, or just walk alone as a tribute to their father, with some kind words said during the ceremony or reception.  Just know that your father is proud of you and would be so happy for you during this time of your life.  You are so lucky that he supported you and your FI during your relationship and that you knew he was so glad that you were getting married.  Make sure you focus on that on your wedding day.

    I'll keep your family in my prayers and send knottie vibes your way.
  • miellenmiellen member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Danielle,
    that is such devastating news. I haven't gone through this, but my husband and my best friend (maid of honour) both unexpectedly lost their fathers, and I was with them both through the tragedies. It will be the toughest thing to ever go through, and your broken heart won't mend for many, many years or ever.

    No matter what though, always remember that your dad wants what's best for you. That includes living a full and happy life, even without him. The wedding is something you and your fiance should discuss maybe in a few weeks, whether or not you are ready to still have it this year. Some people aren't, and postpone, and others are ready to go ahead and find lovely ways to pay tribute during the wedding. There's no right or wrong answer, do what feels right to you.

    I don't know any support groups but you're always welcome to talk to us here!

  • sytomsytom member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I'm so sorry for your loss.  The last days must have been horrible for you.  I don't know what you are going through, but I hope my story will help you.

    A couple of months ago, I lost my little baby.  He was a few weeks old.  I'm getting married this November and nothing could keep my from it.  I cried, still cry and will cry again for a long time.  Nothing will ever fill the void.  I miss him so much and it will never stop being sad.  Just like your story.  I guess that I figured I had the perfect reason to stay curled up in bed for the rest of my life.  The only thing is that now, all I want to do is live life to the fullest.  I want to marry my boyfriend.  I want to show the people I love that I love them.  I want to be with them while I still have the chance.  I want to laugh, take care, help and make people happy.  I want to make my baby proud.
    We all grieve in our own way.  We all find sense within ourselves.  My way might not be right for you, but please listen to what your heart is telling you.  I'm sure you'll find what will be best for you. 

    Take care of yourself.  I'm there if you want to write.

    xxx
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  • edited December 2011
    Thank you all for your support. 
    Sytom, I am also very sorry about your little baby.  I too have mixed feelings about curling up in bed for life and living life to the fullest.  There are so many emotions, and you're right, we all have to grieve in our own way. 
    My fiance and I would like to keep our wedding date for this December.  My dad would be heart broken himself if we postponed.  It's just so difficult to find the strength and motivation to continue with the planning.  And I really want to think of nothing more than the greatest memories of my dad.  But as I said to the ladies on the other board, it's cliche but we really just have to take it one day at a time. 
  • nmcarthurnmcarthur member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Danielle,

    I don't know you but I can relate to your situation and I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. 

    I loss my mother to breast cancer a few years ago, and I have to say, I have mixed feeling too about my upcoming wedding. As happy as I am about my life right now and my big day ahead, there is that void there and I know how totally hard that is. 

    I truly believe that they are in a better place, watching over us for the big day. 

    Feel free to PM me - I've been through it and I can certainly relate to what you're going through and am happy to help you as best I can, or even just to talk. I don't really have any friends who have gone through this either, it's tough to find people who can relate, especially during this time!

    Nicole



  • raynesraynes member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    I don't have much to add except my support.  I'm so sorry for your loss.  We're here if you need to talk.
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  • lalap69lalap69 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I'm so sorry for your loss.  My FI lost his father suddenly a couple of years back.  Incidentally, this was only a couple of months before his brother's wedding.  It's hard, and I'm so sorry that you're going through this, but he'll be with you in your heart on your wedding day.  You're in my thoughts.
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  • joannerryanjoannerryan member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    your wedding will lighten all the darkest hearts in your family! it will be a wonderful happy occasion that will help everyone heal. your dad's spirit will be there watching over you! hopefully you can come up with meaningful ways to include him. when I was in my teens, my extended family had three deaths in a 3 month period. (two were devastating and unexpected.) it brought our whole family down...then a couple years later people started getting married and having babies. it really did heal us all in ways we would have never expected. your happy occasion will hopefully to the same to you and your family.
    my prayers go out to you.
    keep telling funny stories about your dad and he will ALWAYS be around. :)
    xo.
  • edited December 2011
    I am terribly sorry to hear that Danielle. I am blessed to have not experienced this, but I know your dad will be with you on your day and would want to you to enjoy it.

    Perhaps you can dedicate a reading to him?

    My thoughts are with you and your familly.
  • edited December 2011
    I'm so sorry!! I think the reading for your father would be a great idea.
    xo
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  • suzie173suzie173 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I  also lost my Dad before my wedding, and you know yourself that "broken hearted' doesn't truly say how it feels. Send me a PM if you want to chat a little. I was just married at the end of June so the thoughts, feelings, and what I did are still at the front of my mind. I usually hang out on the Canada board. Hoping to hear from you.
    Suzie and Tom: Livin' the Dream!
  • suellen2bwedsuellen2bwed member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I am so sorry for your loss, and having a parent pass away is so difficult and I am sure it is even worse as you are coming up to an event where your dad would have played a significant role.
    There are many support groups available and I would recommend you call your local Victim Services, if you tell me what area you are from I can provide you with a number. They will be able to assist you in finding the right support group closest to you that meets your needs.
    I am so sorry for your loss and I am sure you will find a way to honor your dad on your wedding day.
  • edited December 2011
    Hi Danielle,
    Sorry to hear about your father passing away. I lost my father 2 years ago tomorrow and can understand the pain you're feeling.
    My younger sister at her wedding earlier this year had a photo of our Dad in a locket and tied that into her bouquet. She said that it felt that in some way he was still walking down the aisle with her. I know that I'll be doing the same.
    I think doing a reading in his memory is a lovely idea too.
    I hope that you are coping well, and my thoughts are with you and your family.
    Alison
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  • mattycammattycam member
    Seventh Anniversary 1000 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    Hi Danielle,

    I am writing this post late as you are married by now. I hope if was a day of joy and happiness for you...even if it was just for that day. My deepest sympathies go out to you and your family during a time of mixed feelings. May God continue to bless and keep you as well give you the strength needed to move on.

    Many Blessings.
  • edited December 2011
    I hope you had strength to enjoy your day.
    I lost both my mother &father 3 years before my wedding.  I have to say i found the strength not to cry & enjoy the day as "mine"  I lit candles at my ceremony for them both.  I was very close withboth of them, my mom died of breast cancer 7 year battle that started when i was 16 & my dad died suddenly of a heart attack the day after christmas, 2 years after my mom passed.  I have to tell you, for me my toughest days were the days i gave birth to my 2 boys, really sad that they never met their grandparents, or have them to spoil them. 
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