Any other anti-brides out there?

ssaeed

So, I am starting to get into my planning - we have booked venue and photographer and I am now looking at decor options, florals, etc. I am not one of those people that have been planning their wedding since they were 5 - I am having trouble with all of these people around me who are asking what my themes, colours, etc. are.

I am enjoying the process but I feel like I am being judged by people because I don't have everything planned out to a tea! Is there anyone else out there like me? How do I deal with these people? The worst was when I told people that we weren't having a wedding cake and everyone looked at me like I had 5 heads.....sigh.

ring_pop

Your wedding is sooooo far away... you should be looking at THEM like they're the ones with 5 heads if they think your entire wedding should be planned already!

Shrug them off, I guess. Only talk wedding details with people that you know will support you. When these other people get nosy, just say "Eh, it's so far away... I haven't really thought about it yet." They can't judge you if you don't give them the opportunity.

Littlin

I agree with PP - I have stopped really doing the wedding talk unless people ask me specific questions, and even then I am brief.  I've saved it for friends who are also planning weddings or friends who have been married recently.  The knottie GTG will be a great place for it on Saturday!

mcrotondo

Hi there

In reading your post I thought I thought I was the one who wrote it.  You are not the only anti-bride, I am on the same page as you.  I too have not been planning my wedding since I was 5.  I also was not going to get a cake until I got guilted into one by a TV personality wedding planner.  I got lectured on the symbolism of cake!

It is really hard when others put their expectations onto you so I fully understand how you feel.  People have a great way of making you feel bad about something you should not feel bad about at all.  For me, the worst has been that all of my married friends are asking when I am going to have kids.....I tell them, let's get through one step at a time shall we, so just simmer down.

What I have been doing with most people is just telling them that I have things under control and basically they will have "wait and see".  Keep it simple and don't worry about them.

you are not alone!

Monique

lalap69

That's weird that people are giving you heck for not having everything booked already.  You're so far out.  My friends were looking at me like I had 5 heads for booking the hall already - and at this point I couldn't even get my first choice date!  But I haven't booked anything since and probably won't for a while and can't imagine that you'd be expected to either.

I'd avoid telling people your wedding plans and if they ask just smile and say "oh it's so far away, we haven't decided on that yet."  That way you won't have to put up with their judgements.

miellen

Before I got engaged, I thought I would love the entire process, be completely organized and bridezilla style. But now that I'm about 2 months away, I look back and didn't enjoy the process as much as I thought I would/should have. I think it's different for each person - if you are loving the process then I'm really jealous of you - but all the costs and stresses are giving me a headache!!

What I can say, especially since your date is still far away - it's never too early too start. Enjoy the process because it really does fly by (and happens only once!) and try not to let it get to you like it does me.

Oh, and I never planned to have a wedding cake either, so either you aren't crazy or we are both 5 headed anti-brides.

BrendaAndEric

I am enjoying the look on people's faces when I tell them it's in September or October and I don't know what the colours will be or where the ceremony will be.

theredskittle

Dude, I totally understand where you're coming from and I feel the exact same way. My life has been crazy with lots of unexpected things coming up that have needed my attention....I am so behind in everything, and since, like you, i haven't been planning since i was 5, i am feeling pretty lost!

HerPrettyBird

I also understand what you're saying here...

We've been engaged for almost 2 years now- and we're still struggling to set the date (yesterday we agreed on Nov 6th, but two days before that it was Oct 16th).

Its tough- No, I don't know what I'm wearing- No, I don't have the colours chosen, and No- I wasn't worried until everyone started asking.

I think my big fear is that it might start getting stressful- and weddings are supposed to be a celebration! A party! Families uniting and friends being supportive!
To be honest- I'm glad we didn't rush it, I'm glad its not conventional- I'm happy with the choices we're making so far (like the venue for instance), and I know for a fact that if we'd have rushed it- It wouldn't have gone in this direction.