non traditional readings/music for Catholic ceremony

Caitlin192

Hi everyone, 
We have a meeting with our priest coming up and I'll ask him these questions then, but I wanted to see if anyone else has done this. 
A little background - my fiance and I have a daughter and are getting married in a Catholic church with a Catholic ceremony. The priest who is marrying us is a family friend of my fiancé's. He baptized our daughter and is very supportive of the marriage. So I suppose we're starting the ceremony off on a non traditional foot already. We aren't getting married at the priest's church. The priest is a very old family friend of my fiance's family and he baptized our daughter. His church is about an hour away. 
The ceremony is at our church, which is connected to the school my fiance went to for K-8
We didn't know if there were rules about music or readings. Here's what we'd like to do: 
Bridal Party Processional - What A Wonderful World (instrumental) 
Bride's Processional - Somewhere Over The Rainbow (instrumental)
Recessional - Ob La Di Ob La Da (Beatles version) 
Readings: A selection from Jane Eyre A selection from the Bible. 
Has anyone done this or is it really up to the church/priest? 
This is the reading from Jane Eyre that we liked. I have for the first time found what I can truly love - I have found you. You are my sympathy, my better self, my good angel. I am bound to you with a strong attachment. I think you good, gifted, lovely: a fervent, a solemn passion is conceived in my heart; it leans to you, draws you to my center and spring of life, wraps my existence about you - and, kindling in pure, powerful flame, fuses you and me in one. 

agapecarrie

You cannot have secular music or readings in a marriage liturgy, whether in a mass or not.

The Liturgy (whether in a mass or not) follows a formula. Old testement reading, psalm, new testement reading, and Gospel.

The music must be sacred, Christian, or classical. 

Your reading also contains heresies contrary to Catholic teaching. so it won't even be able to be included anyway. 

professorscience

Hello and welcome!

Agape is right.  A Catholic wedding must follow proper form in order for the marriage to be considered valid in the eyes of the church.  You are welcome to use readings and music that are not part of the church's "normal" repertoire, as long as they meet the proper criteria mentioned above.

This means you could choose readings that are not in the Together for Life book (which is a planning manual most churches give) or not the "typical" processional songs, but they must follow proper form.

I think the music and the readings are a great way to incorporate yourselves into the mass, so I would encourage you to choose some of your favorite passages from scripture -- that way they have special meaning to you.  Our priest actually included our reasons for choosing the readings we used in his homily.    As for music, listen to what they play at mass!  That is how I found my recessional (Tuba Tune in D) and the music director at the parish where we were married actually special-ordered it, so I know it was unique (to that church, at least)!

Caitlin192

Thanks ladies! 

I just talked to my mom and she said she was just at a Catholic wedding where the bride walked down to Here Comes the Sun, so I'm hopeful. DF's family is kind of a big deal with this particular church, and the priest marrying us is also sort of a bigwig and pretty well known in our area. He also had no problems baptizing our daughter and no problem with us living together, so hopefully there will be some leniency. My mom said she thinks the reading would be out though. She suggested we put it in the program or do it as a reflection piece. 

professorscience

I guess in that case I would just encourage you to really study the meaning behind the liturgy as it is written and hope that you will find proper music that is just as meaningful to you, and also that you won't use your FILs' "status" to try to get something that's really not correct.

agapecarrie

Please do not do this. It would be offensive. The liturgy if a sacred event in the church, and so all that is in it must continue to promote that atmosphere...

If it is a mass, the veil between heaven and earth and time and space is lifted, and we are in a portal into the last supper and the crucifixion. This is NOT the time to be playing the beatles, but respecting the dignity of the cross. This is NOT the time to be making up our own script, but following the long standing tradition of the beautiful liturgy given to us by the church. 

Regarding the Jane Eyre reading, again, this is contrary to the God's design of the human being and marriage itself. 

Also, no priest worth his salt has "no problem" with people living together. He may not have voiced anything to you, but ministers in the church desire people to get right with God. 

Caitlin192

We aren't having a Mass, just the ceremony.  songs we chose have meaning to us as a couple and are certainly respectful of our event. Again, we have a daughter together and she is baptized by the same priest that will be marrying us. Maybe he did have reservations, but he's never once voiced them and he went ahead with that sacrament without saying a word. In fact, when my fiance's parents were having some issues with my pregnancy, it was this priest who helped them accept it and they love our daughter as much as any grandparent could. 

My old church had a folk group that played at a contemporary mass. I guess I don't really understand the difference. Those songs were secular and included selections from Bob Dylan and The Beatles. 

I certainly mean no disrespect  towards the church, my priest, my marriage, or you ladies. I'm just having a hard time understanding the reasoning. 

The reading I suppose I can understand. We may include it in the ceremony somehow or put it in the program. However, music is supposed to make you feel closer to God, and we've chosen beautiful music that does. 

agapecarrie

I'm not saying he should have reservations baptizing your child, or even marrying you. That is not the same thing has having "no problem" with the idea of people cohabitating. Those are two different things. I was responding to what you said about him having "no problem" with you living together. 

Using beatles or bob dylan at any mass is terribly wrong. It shouldn't be at a wedding or regular Sunday mass. This is not a parish by parish thing, this is the overall blanket rubrics set forth by the church. The fact that a priest allows something here or there does not make it right, or not offensive.

The songs that have meaning for you as a couple are great, for you--- NOT for a liturgy in the church.  The Liturgy of the Word is our ancient tradition that goes back 2000 years, and includes some aspects of the Jewish traditions in the temple. It follows a strict formula to follow those traditions-- along with the singing of psalms and antiphons. This is the beauty of our church, it is meant to be kept sacred. 

Nickie431

Hi, Caitlin!  Congratulations on your upcoming marriage!

I encourage you use the secular musical selections that have meaning for you at your reception.  They'd be lovely for a first dance, cake cutting, etc. and express your personality.

As the other ladies have mentioned, music used at Mass or a ceremony in the Church should be sacred.  Sometimes, depending on the discretion of the priest or music director involved, an originally secular piece will be approved if it has an appropriately spiritual message.

Since you're fond of a certain sound and would like your ceremony to be more on the non-traditional side, you might consider having your selections played on an acoustic guitar, for example, rather than an organ.  Some of the hymnals/music written for youth-oriented Masses (eg. "Spirit & Song") might be more appealing to you.  Check out some of the music by Matt Maher or other Christian recording artists.  (H and I had our first dance to "Set Me As A Seal," which is written entirely from the Song of Solomon.  A friend used this song in her actual ceremony.)

Though the Church does have a structure, you need not feel limited and can still very much express you and your FI's personality as long as you keep your sights set on the purpose and meaning of the Sacrament into which you are entering.

Blessings and best wishes!

Riss91

I agree with the previous posters - if you are having a Catholic cermony, you really should be using sacred music. However, the processional/recessional happen before/after the actual ceremony, so I have heard of priests allowing secular music there (as long as it was not derived from a source that was anti-Christian). Once the ceremony starts, there shouldn't be anything utlized that is not consistent with the liturgy.

Why not play these songs at your reception? Or if you have a videographer, have them use the songs in your wedding video?

I like the idea of putting the reading in the program, or you could have someone read the poem at your reception, or have it incorporated into the favors or something else?

agapecarrie

The processional is actually a prescribed part of the Liturgy. There are explicit instructions for choosing a chant, anitphon, psalm, or hymn, etc. 

The recessional does not have explicit instructions. 

Karen's MOH

I'm not disagreeing with all the previous posters, but do want to let you know that our priest allowed us to use any music we wanted, as long as it wasn't anti-Christian. So, whether it's right or wrong, there are priests out there who don't limit your musical selections. As you already agreed, the readings are much, much stricter. 

lmeade62

Wow. Our priest was pretty...not strict, because he's not a strict guy, but very firm...about our musical choices. We wanted to have Panis Angelicus played before the ceremony, and he instructed us to play it as a Communion meditation, since it means Bread of the Angels. Everything we had was classical and/or spiritual; the hymns were my favorite ones.

No disrespect to the OP, but the music and readings were what made it a CATHOLIC wedding. I appreciated having the guidelines for what readings to choose...it made it a lot easier to figure out what we wanted. I just finished listening to our wedding video again, and it's just so beautiful and sacred. It emphasized the seriousness of what we were doing, and it was quite something to think we were part of a long line of sacred tradition.

I think you'll find you can personalize it and still follow the liturgy.

Linda