How to bridge afternoon wedding mass and dinner reception?

RaeRae1126

Hey Ladies--

So my FI and I are getting married on Sat. April 28, 2012. The latest we can start the ceremony is 1:30 because the church has to be available for the 5pm saturday mass. We want to have a dinner reception, with a start time around 5:30 or so. Do any of you have suggestions on what to do or plan for guests inbetween time? Seems like a large gap of time to fill. Thanks!

Calypso1977

it is.
i would try to find a place that will start your reception at 3pm.  you could have cocktails from 3-4, then dinner at 4.  its an early dinner, btu still dinner.

babynugget

I am running into the same problem.  My ceremony is starting at 2:30 and the reception at the earliest can only start at 6:00.  I am probably going to have about a 2 1/2 hour time gap.  I posted this question on other boards and I got varying responses.  Some people say it's rude to have a gap, others say who cares about the gap because it's your special day.  I'm not too happy about the time gap but what can you do?  If you're having alot of out of town guests someone suggested pointing out places of interest in your town or maybe even offering a site seeing tour.  Or maybe see if you can offer light refreshments at the church after the ceremony??  Good Luck!

[Deleted User]

Definitely do a cocktail hour/hor'dourve hour. We were in the exact same situation. I wanted an afternoon wedding, but we had to be out of there by 4:30 for the 5pm Saturday evening mass. Our wedding was at 1pm. Our cocktail/appetizer hour started at 3pm, dinner was served at 5pm. It worked out just fine.

catarntina

I had a gap, too.  The ceremony started at 2.  Ended about 2:45.  Reception did not start till 6.  Gaps are common in my area, so it wasn't a big deal -- all of my cousins had gaps so my family couldn't get mad   A lot of people went home or back to their hotel.  Some people did not show up to the ceremony, only to the reception (be prepared for that).

My parents live across the street from the church, so many people went to my parents house for an informal cocktail hour.  It wasn't printed on the invitations, but my mom told everyone after the ceremony if they didn't hear about it beforehand.  Maybe people could go to someone's house for light refreshments in case they don't want to go home?

It's nice to have something for people to do, like cocktails.  But I think a lot of people will probably just go home and relax.

RaeRae1126

Thanks...I like your idea about pointing out local attractions; and I do think a cocktail hour would help the transition to the reception.

lisa89760

Gaps are normal around here as well..I actually have only been to a couple weddings without gaps (and they weren't Catholic)  I think my family would be more mad with a day time reception!  Anyways...My mom is offering out of town guests to come to her house for cocktails and some food...most of them time we just all go to a bar or restaurant to hang out!

mcdol3

Thanks for posting this questions! this has come up on my June board and a lot of people flamed the OP for it.
We're having 3 hours between ours. I figure people will be going to their hotel room or to FI's parents rental house.
At least there is enough time they can go and do something.

banana468

Don't just point out the local attractions.  Host something for the guests.

If I'm from OOT, I don't care about local attractions when I'm dressed up for your wedding.  I care about going to your wedding.  The attractions will have to wait for another time.

prinsessdw

I'm running in to the same problem...ceremony at 1pm, and I don't want to have a super early dinner.  One idea we had was doing light refreshments (non-alcoholic) from about 3-5pm, and setting up a photo booth during that time where guests can go have their pictures taken and do their guest book pages, so that they don't have to wait in a line during the actual cocktail hour.  We also thought about running a slideshow during the same timeframe, not just with old photos of us, but with photos of us with our various guests.  We thought it could be a neat way to show how everyone there is really a part of our lives.

Hope61

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_bridge-afternoon-wedding-mass-dinner-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:02568b63-f32a-4cff-bac4-dc1ee011a745Post:d2da48a0-324c-4028-8781-be280d4f45f6">Re: How to bridge afternoon wedding mass and dinner reception?</a>:
[QUOTE]Thanks for posting this questions! this has come up on my June board and a lot of people flamed the OP for it.
Posted by mcdol3[/QUOTE]

Haha I think that might have been me...

I think if you have the option of no gap, don't have one. If your reception is early, people will just plan on having dinner then. I went to a wedding this weekend that was at 12:30, got done just after 1, and then we drove right to the reception. There were hors doeurves (sp?) and we ate dinner around 3. I figured we'd eat around then so I planned my earlier meals accordingly.

My wedding is going to have a gap, and its only going to be 1.5-2 hours which is probably worse because that doesn't leave much time for doing something, but not short enough to go straight to the reception (20 min drive). We're going to give out directions at the end, with a couple options--to go to the hotel to check in and then from there to the reception, to go to the Toledo Museum of Art which is a couple blocks from the church and *free* and from there to the reception, and maybe one other location TBD...  I figure an art museum is a good option since wedding clothes won't be too dressy for it.

mcdol3

KatieAnne - you flamed people? or were flamed? There was a huge thread on it a while back.

We are purposely leaving 3 hours for photos. Requested by our photographer, and really, photos are all you get (other than a hubby ) at the end. (if that makes sense). It's definitely enough time for people to go back and have a drink. There is a 15 minute drive from ceremony to hotel and a 30 minute drive to the reception to the hotel. Really, it's more like 2.5 hours and if you include a cocktail hour, that cuts it to 2ish hours.
Never forget travel time

mica178

We had a 45 minute gap that we bridged with refreshments (mostly water, juice, wine, fruit and cheese/crackers) at the church parish hall until guests could drive over to the reception hall for the reception.  

Hope61

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_bridge-afternoon-wedding-mass-dinner-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:02568b63-f32a-4cff-bac4-dc1ee011a745Post:69a3cc62-ce06-4b3a-aeb0-3d91ae2b696a">Re: How to bridge afternoon wedding mass and dinner reception?</a>:
[QUOTE]KatieAnne - you flamed people? or were flamed? There was a huge thread on it a while back.
Posted by mcdol3[/QUOTE]
Well, I started a thread with a question, don't even remember what my question was now, but several people were like "Thats so rude, you HAVE to change the time" or "You have to add a cocktail hour!!! Gaps are horrible!!!" even though I said a few times that it wasn't possible to change the time and wasn't in the budget to have a cocktail hour somewhere. It wasn't a huge thread, so probably not the one you're thinking of. (Don't get me wrong though, I think our month board is great :) )

mcdol3

KatieAnne - that sucks. Sometimes it just can't be helped

catarntina

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_bridge-afternoon-wedding-mass-dinner-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:02568b63-f32a-4cff-bac4-dc1ee011a745Post:71aadab6-168f-412a-9e0a-55ec9d60822f">Re: How to bridge afternoon wedding mass and dinner reception?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: How to bridge afternoon wedding mass and dinner reception? : Well, I started a thread with a question, don't even remember what my question was now, but several people were like "Thats so rude, you HAVE to change the time" or "You have to add a cocktail hour!!! Gaps are horrible!!!" even though I said a few times that it wasn't possible to change the time and wasn't in the budget to have a cocktail hour somewhere. It wasn't a huge thread, so probably not the one you're thinking of. (Don't get me wrong though, I think our month board is great :) )
Posted by KatieAnne18[/QUOTE]

Don't worry, I got flamed on my monthly board for asking a question completely unrelated to gaps, but it turned into a flame war about how I shouldn't have a gap at all.  Heh.  I've never been to a wedding in the Toledo area that has not had a gap.  I think it's more a regional thing.  None of my guests complained.  So don't sweat it. :)

agapecarrie

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_bridge-afternoon-wedding-mass-dinner-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:02568b63-f32a-4cff-bac4-dc1ee011a745Post:104076a2-41ed-48a7-b8e4-cf7db6675a21">Re: How to bridge afternoon wedding mass and dinner reception?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: How to bridge afternoon wedding mass and dinner reception? : Don't worry, I got flamed on my monthly board for asking a question completely unrelated to gaps, but it turned into a flame war about how I shouldn't have a gap at all.  Heh.  I've never been to a wedding in the Toledo area that has not had a gap.  I think it's more a regional thing.  None of my guests complained.  So don't sweat it. :)
Posted by catarntina[/QUOTE]

In my area (which is very Catholic) and especially my family, it would be considered rude to not have a "gap". (I've never heard of the word before coming here). Weddings are not considered just an activity like a movie...but its an all day affair. People block a whole day for one.

Calypso1977

no offense, but if you want 3 hours for pictures, why not just do them before?  if you get married in the afternoon, you have all morning long to take them, unrushed.  and dont say there isnt time, because we were married at 11, and i was dressed and at the church by 830 am.

if you absolutely must have the gap because of scheduling/inflexible venue thats one thing, but to have it for teh sole purpose of pictures just doesnt seem to make sense.

mcdol3

Calypso, I refuse to see FI before the ceremony. I want that tradition. Just my preference. I know a lot of people do photos before. Personal choice.
There's also a good drive between our ceremony, hotels and reception. Plus we're in a huge city, so driving anywhere takes a good 30 minutes. We're having a cocktail hour as well for guests.

mica178

mcdol, I am of the opinion that if you intentionally have a 3 hour gap, you need to do something for your guests during that time.  3 hours is a long time to fill for OOT guests.

banana468

3 hours is an insane time for photos.  If I found out that the gap was scheduled, I'd have a lot less sympathy for the couple than if they were just dealing with the constraints of the church and reception venues.

And if they didn't host anything in that 3 hour gap - tsk tsk.

Sure the photos are a big deal.  But aren't your GUESTS a big deal??

GulfCoaster

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_bridge-afternoon-wedding-mass-dinner-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:615Discussion:02568b63-f32a-4cff-bac4-dc1ee011a745Post:16dd629c-65ea-411f-9d50-268da7b18149">Re: How to bridge afternoon wedding mass and dinner reception?</a>:
[QUOTE]Don't just point out the local attractions.  Host something for the guests. If I'm from OOT, I don't care about local attractions when I'm dressed up for your wedding.  I care about going to your wedding.  The attractions will have to wait for another time.
Posted by banana468[/QUOTE]

This is my opinion too.   I really dislike weddings with large gaps in which I'm supposed to entertain myself, and I don't think I'm the only one.  A friend of mine (Protestant) tried to have a 2-hour gap.  Most of her guests just went to the reception venue early because they didn't feel like going anywhere else while they were all dressed up, although she had provided a list of "local attractions."  The reception venue was kind enough to let them in early, but there was no cocktail hour or anything for them to do.  The end result was that by the time the bride and groom arrived from pictures, quite a lot of the guests were bored silly, and a noticeable number of them ended up leaving shortly after dinner, presumably because they were bored.  It was not a pleasant experience, and my friend felt so awful.

Some posters say that gaps are common/expected in their area.  And maybe they are.  But the fact that you're asking, OP, suggests that they aren't common in your area or that you dislike them.  I think that's reasonable.  OP, if I were in your situation and the times absolutely couldn't be changed, I'd host a cocktail/appetizer hour to give your guests something to do.  The schedule would look something like this:

- Mass from 1:30 to 2:30-2:45, depending on music etc.
- Receiving line afterward
- Guests probably leave church around 2:45, after receiving line
- You leave for photos
- Guests head to reception
- Guests arrive at reception venue around 3 p.m. and following
- Cocktail hour/appetizers begin at 3
- You arrive to the reception around 4:30, probably
- First dance, toast and all that jazz if you want
- Dinner around 5 p.m.
- Cake cutting and dessert at some point afterward
- Dancing beginning around 6 ish and continuing till whenever :)

I've been to plenty of weddings that had this or similar scheduling, and it worked out beautifully.