Hello everyone! I posted this question over at the customs and traditions board, but I thought I'd try over here as well.
We recently had our first meeting with the church wedding coordinator, and we secured our date! However, while going over the wedding policies handbook, my FI noticed that the church has a policy for wedding parties, specifically that the groomsmen must be men, the bridesmaids must be women, and there must be an equal number on both sides.
This surprised me, as I have never encountered such a rule before. In fact, at my sister's Catholic wedding (granted at a different church and in a different archdioceses), my brother-in-law had a woman standing up with him as a groomsman.
My FI had already asked one of his best friends, who is also a woman, to stand up with him as his best man. When he hestitantly asked whether the gender policy was a hard and fast rule, the wedding coordinator cited "tradition and symbolism" and stated that his friend would have to stand with me.
Obviously, my FI is upset about this turn of events, and I'm at a loss. FI is not Catholic, but agreed to a Catholic ceremony because it was important to me. I don't want this to become something that taints the day for him, but I'm not sure how to approach the issue next. Has anyone ever encountered this before? Any suggestions on how to proceed? We plan on talking to the priest at some point, but I want to be prepared to put my best foot forward!