Engaged Encounter Weekend

emersic9

Hi everyone!

I've not really posted on this wall before, but I was wondering, had anyone here been on an Engaged Encounter Weekend? We just went on one this past weekend and it was a really incredible experience for the both of us. I know sometimes it's recommended through the Catholic church for marriage prep, but not too often. If you haven't heard of it, I really recommend looking into it :-)

[Deleted User]

Thanks. Glad to hear you enjoyed it. My H and I were required to do it for the priest that married us. It was a truly enriching experience for both of us as well.

shawna127

I have not done it yet but I've heard nothing but great things so I am really excited to do it! )

professorscience

Glad you enjoyed it!  H and I were together seven years when we got married (6.5 when we did our EE weekend), so much of the conversations were ones we'd already had, but we still loved being able to sit down and just let everything out.

emersic9

professionalscience, same with us. We have been together 6 years, will be almost 7 when we get married. We have also had a lot of the conversations that were covered during the weekend, but it really was nice to sit down and go over everything

odonnellalys

Just finished ours the first weekend of November. Can't say enough good things about this weekend! I try so hard to spread the word to other couples about considering it.

cootabug

We haven't done ours yet, but we have the option of doing just the day session or the weekend session? I really want to do the weekend session buts its double the price and my FH wants to do just the day session.  Have you all done the whole weekend or have some of you done the day session? What do you think are the benefits of either?

dpbride2012

cootabug, my FI and I are doing both, though only the day session is required in our diocese.  they are expensive but we're fortunate to have room to cut down expenses in other areas of wedding plans so that we can do both. 

if you'd like to try to do the more expensive weekend retreat but can't afford it, i suggest you inquire about scholarships. 

if that's not possible, you might consider asking your family to help finance your retreat as your Christmas gift.  just an idea.

bottom line, i think programs like these are truly priceless investments in our marriages.  the bridal industry wants us to think that bigger flowers, bigger diamonds, and bigger dresses will give us marital bliss.   i feel like my FI and I owe it to ourselves and, God willing, our future children, to be smarter than that.

best wishes :-)

cootabug

I agree - how do I get my FH to think the same?! He's such a "man" sometimes..

bibliophile2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_engaged-encounter-weekend-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:07ffd8df-f74e-472e-bbe1-a82796706b71Post:b1cfcf14-2482-45e7-bbb3-0700ca4ea7bf">Re: Engaged Encounter Weekend</a>:
[QUOTE]I agree - how do I get my FH to think the same?! He's such a "man" sometimes..
Posted by cootabug[/QUOTE]

I feel like this is the kind of thing that two people who are getting married really need to be on the same page about, or at the very least, have an open, honest conversation about.

There will be lots of "how do we spend our money" issues coming in the years ahead of you, regarless of how much you make. How you priorize money, time, faith, relationships, etc. are all really big deals. EE is a good chance to work things out.

FWIW, my H and I did a one-day retreat. We were not able to do the 2-day workshop offered at our parish, and the marriage preparation coordinator recommended one at another that she thought would be beneficial to us. My FI and I both really enjoyed ours. It was as a retreat center, so we were able to take a day to get away from it all, be together, re-talk about some things, enjoy some nice weather, hear from some long married couples who had great things to say, etc. Would a weekend have been better? I don't know, but I do know that the one-day event was still really nice.

Additionally, in case it is pertinent, our diocese also mandates a one-day retreat on Theology of the Body called God's Plan for a Joy-Filled marriage. It was also really great. Because of that, our first one-day retreat didn't discuss Catholic sexual teachings at all (though there was a session on "sexuality" that ended up really being more about communication, different types of intimacy (emotional, etc.), because sexual intimacy really is about those things first). I know some programs include more NFP stuff than others, but if that is an area you and your FI need to talk about more, that is something to keep in mind as well.

agapecarrie

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_engaged-encounter-weekend-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:07ffd8df-f74e-472e-bbe1-a82796706b71Post:b1cfcf14-2482-45e7-bbb3-0700ca4ea7bf">Re: Engaged Encounter Weekend</a>:
[QUOTE]I agree - how do I get my FH to think the same?! He's such a "man" sometimes..
Posted by cootabug[/QUOTE]

<div>Seminarians have to put in 6 years of study and formation to fulfill their vocation. </div><div>
</div><div>One day for a lifelong commitment to another person (who will also change with time) is nothing. </div>

doctabroccoli

Coota - is your FI Catholic?  My husband is not, so he was a little skeptical and uncomfortable going to the marriage prep because he was afraid they were going to shove Catholicism down his throat (for the record, that doesn't happen).  Do you know why exactly your FI isn't all about it?

heroeswearbrown

My FI and I are going on our weekend this coming weekend. We're really far out in the planning process, but this route actually made the most sense for us. Our diocese only offers Pre-Cana from march to October, so that would mean we'd have to take it >two weeks after FI graduates from college, in the midst of him moving home. Our diocese also allows participation in an online course. We were going to do that, but we lacked the time to be able to complete the course on mutual ground (i.e. my family makes him nervous, and his family is loud and nosy). So my aunt recommended EE. We're going to have to drive 3 hours to get there, and it is the most expensive option, but I think that for what it offers, it'll totally be worth the three hour drive and the extra cash.

cootabug

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_engaged-encounter-weekend-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:07ffd8df-f74e-472e-bbe1-a82796706b71Post:dfd19ac7-ee14-4fdf-8914-60e2b1362cda">Re: Engaged Encounter Weekend</a>:
[QUOTE]Coota - is your FI Catholic?  My husband is not, so he was a little skeptical and uncomfortable going to the marriage prep because he was afraid they were going to shove Catholicism down his throat (for the record, that doesn't happen).  Do you know why exactly your FI isn't all about it?
Posted by doctabroccoli[/QUOTE]

Yes, but I guess you could consider both of us non-practicing or "convenient" Catholics.  Which I know begs the question why are we getting married in a church and why do I want to go to the weekend EE, but that is a different story/discussion.  I want to start building our faith back up and I just think he thinks its going to boring, honestly.  Going to a Catholic convention is not exactly how he wants to spend his weekend off (and I actually can't say I blame him all that much, even when I was very into my faith I wasn't all that interested in going spend an entire weekend at a Catholic event).  I did talk to him about and he has agreed to go, which, even if we decide to do the one day event in the end, was all I really wanted - I wanted to know that he would do it for us.

professorscience

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_engaged-encounter-weekend-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:615Discussion:07ffd8df-f74e-472e-bbe1-a82796706b71Post:60fef555-68af-4986-8324-e30a3d78d12e">Re: Engaged Encounter Weekend</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Engaged Encounter Weekend : Yes, but I guess you could consider both of us non-practicing or "convenient" Catholics.  Which I know begs the question why are we getting married in a church and why do I want to go to the weekend EE, but that is a different story/discussion.  I want to start building our faith back up and I just think he thinks its going to boring, honestly.  <strong>Going to a Catholic convention is not exactly how he wants to spend his weekend off</strong> (and I actually can't say I blame him all that much, even when I was very into my faith I wasn't all that interested in going spend an entire weekend at a Catholic event).  I did talk to him about and he has agreed to go, which, even if we decide to do the one day event in the end, was all I really wanted - I wanted to know that he would do it for us.
Posted by cootabug[/QUOTE]

He needs a better attitude, I'd say.  It's not a "Catholic convention."  In fact, nonCatholic couples can attend.  As Agape mentioned, it is a few days out of your lifetime together.  It seems a small "inconvenience."

heroeswearbrown

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_engaged-encounter-weekend-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:615Discussion:07ffd8df-f74e-472e-bbe1-a82796706b71Post:60fef555-68af-4986-8324-e30a3d78d12e">Re: Engaged Encounter Weekend</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Engaged Encounter Weekend : Yes, but I guess you could consider both of us non-practicing or "convenient" Catholics.  Which I know begs the question why are we getting married in a church and why do I want to go to the weekend EE, but that is a different story/discussion.  I want to start building our faith back up and I just think he thinks its going to boring, honestly.  Going to a Catholic convention is not exactly how he wants to spend his weekend off (and I actually can't say I blame him all that much, even when I was very into my faith I wasn't all that interested in going spend an entire weekend at a Catholic event).  I did talk to him about and he has agreed to go, which, even if we decide to do the one day event in the end, was all I really wanted - I wanted to know that he would do it for us.
Posted by cootabug[/QUOTE]

FWIW My FI was baptized and raised catholic but is not practicing. He went into our weekend thinking that he would hate it and that he didn't want to have religion shoved down his throat. Let me just say that I cannot count the number of times he told me that he was glad I convinced him to go and he enjoyed our time there. Be sure to let your FI know that EE is more about you as a couple. It will prompt you to think a lot about things you haven't thought about or have been too afraid to express. I cannot begin to tell you how much we both got out of this weekend. We both will be recommending EE to every couple we can.

tally7

WE did the weekend and it really enriched our relationship - I recommend it to everyone.