Is NFP allowed?

pretzelgrrl

I have been lurking and posting a bit...and as you can tell by my posts although I have been catholic all my life...there is a lot I do not know...I have been reading all of the posts about birth control and NFP...I did not know what NFP was so I began googling NFP and if it was allowed and found things posted by the vatican and other catholics saying that NFP is also morally wrong.  Can anyone shed some light on this?  I am kind of confused.

professorscience

If your intention is to never ever have children, then I suppose NFP would be morally wrong.  I'm not really sure what the basis these people you've found have for considering it wrong.

agapecarrie

A "contraceptive mentality" is wrong. One cannot have a permanent intention against children and have a valid marriage. Even if one uses NFP, they can still have this "contraceptive mentality" by avoiding children without a reason to do so....or a frivolous one such as wanting to take expensive vacations, wanting to buy lots of toys  (boats, technology, etc, which aren't bad themselves, but when people choose things instead of children they are the wrong priority), or to be "free from responsibility", which, is in other words, selfishness.

There can be serious/just/grave reasons to avoid children for a time, perhaps indefinitely. Some of those reasons could be the health of mom to serious financial problems. There are different documents that use different words to describe just how "serious" a reason needs to be. This is NOT defined by the church and is up to each couple, who should be honest with themselves about their circumstances...its a good idea to have some spiritual direction.

There are ultra conservative web sites/groups that argue that even using NFP for any reason is "contraceptive"...they usually use some verbal gymnastics to come to this conclusion, but this is most definitely NOT in line with church teaching. In fact, there are some documents that say parents must be responsible in their decision making regarding children.

More info in the document "Humanae vitae" and Theology of the Body

caitriona87

"Catholic" sources that say NFP is always wrong are often schismatic groups. There is a small faction which believes that the Church underwent an apostasy at Vatican II and that NFP is part and parcel of that; this view is incorrect and demonstrates a lack of faith in Christ's promise that "the gates of Hell will not prevail" against the Church founded on Peter....but I believe the earliest mention of the licit-ness of periodic abstinence was by Pope Leo XII in the 1880s and it was reiterated in Casti Connubii in 1930. So, not true all around.

At the same time, NFP is not a must. Sometimes (IMHO) promotion of NFP can get a bit overzealous and we forget that there is absolutely nothing wrong with leaving it entirely up to God and using no family planning at all.

ingeniousidea

The idea of "contraceptive mentality," especially as it relates to NFP, is a tough one, since it's so hard to pin down what qualifies!  Here is a GREAT post by one of my favorite Catholic bloggers exploring some of the nuances of the Church's teaching and how that plays out in individual circumstances. 

http://simchafisher.wordpress.com/2011/03/23/why-doesnt-the-church-just-make-a-list/

sigmaurse

NFP is allowed and is taught and suggested by the Catholic church if you have a reason to space children a certain way. Basically if you have a good reason to postpone having children for a time frame and your reason's are NOT selfish in nature and you intend to have children you are ok. Such circumstances may be serious difficulties in life such as medical issues, job loss, or anything you consider a serious reason to postpone pregnancy. 

NFP is also taught so that you can achieve pregnancy. The church trusts you to decide how many chidren is appropriate for your family and that you will discern it through prayers and trust in God.

Usually which ever diocese/archdiocese you are a member of has a set of requirements in order to be married in the church and a NFP class is part of the requirement. My fiance and I have been to 2 out of the 3 classes. It's actually really cool and I can't wait to use it to have babies and space them however we decide. It is the only option the Catholic Church teaches and approves of within reason of course, meaning you are always open to life if God see's that as a good time to have a baby.

sbelle85

Maybe when they said it was wrong, they were talking about couples who are not married using NFP as an excuse to be sexually active.

Our priest said the church does not encourage you to have more children than you feel you can afford/care for and that there is nothing wrong with NFP for married couples who want children (or already have them) but just aren't ready for one at that particular point in their lives.

I know in our situation, we will be using NFP for the first few years of our marriage while my husband finishes his residency and gets settled into his career as a doctor. We definitely want to have kids, but not yet. He needs my full support, attention, and help around the house while he's finishing residency. I feel that, at this time in his life, my job is to be available for him whenever he needs me. I don't know that I could give that to him if I were to become pregnant or have a baby. Likewise, I will need his help when I am pregnant and have a baby at home, and in residency, he's not really in a position to be able to give that to me because he has very little control over his schedule or flexibility with his time. Once he finishes residency and has more control over his schedule, we will both be in a better situation to bring a child into our lives, but until then, we will use NFP. If a child was conceived before we were ready, we'd obviously welcome it and do the best we could, but I don't think there's anything morally wrong with wanting to wait until you are in a situation where you are better equipped to handle the challenges that come with a baby while also continuing to meet each other's needs.