why does the catholic church hate me?

amykay19

I've been going to a new church regularly with my fiance for two years. we both are baptized, confirmed, no kids, no previous marriages, no divorces. I went to catholic school for 10 years. I called this church as soon as i got engaged to book our church. they said it was too soon to call six months before the day. I cant book anything else before that day so i went a head and booked everything else. So i call six month beofre the day now they tell me to call in january. they just called me and told me the church is having construction and having a new alter ordered and the alter will be in but they cant use it until the bishop comes down and blesses it... which is the next day after my wedding so he cant say a mass.I've called another church and explained our situation they dont want to unite us because we don't go to that church and we do not live in that district. WTF????? we dont live with each other because we thought it would be easier to get married in a catholic church that way.....it turns out it doesn't matter cause no one wants to marry me any way.please some words on encouragement.... cause im seriously on my wits end here.....

Riss91

I think you just need to keep calling around until you find an available church. Many people (including myself) are married in churches for which they are not parishoners, so that really should not be an obstacle. You are just getting the run around from church administrative staff, which is unfortunately somewhat common. The Catholic Church does not hate you! Hang in there - be persistent and something will work itself out!

Calypso1977

id see if the church under construction can call the second church for you.  usually when a parish closes for wahtever reason (no priest, construction, etc.) they make arrangements for parishoners to go to another designated church.  

CinSity2004

I'm sorry your going through this stress but the church does not hate you:0) I went through some obstacles with my church and figured god was just testing me!

Da0419

I wanted to get married in the church we're getting married in since I was 10 years old.  When my fiance and I got engaged, we talked to the priest, and he said if we wanted to get married in the cathedral then we'd have to join their parish.  I'm not sure when your wedding is, but you might just have to join another parish so that you can get married in that church.  Good luck!

IrishBrideND

It depends on the Church. The church we were married in is so popular that they have to limit it to members. Many do not though. Just keep calling around

meltoine

I don't know if you would be willing to do this, but can you just have a wedding ceremony without a mass in your Church? I understand that they can't say mass until the altar is blessed, but if you just have the ceremony it should be ok, right? I know for me personally, I was set on having a full mass, but if you aren't this may be a viable alternative.

amykay19

No i am set on having a full mass. And i cant john the second church i called because "we dont live in its district" I am hoping my priest will be willing to do the ceremony at another church but i ahve a feeling he will be too bust since the bishop is coming down the next day. I should mention my family has a curse on it.

Riss91

I should mention my family has a curse on it. Huh?Just keep calling other churches in the area, something will work out for you.

girllennon

You need to keep calling around to other parishes and not be so negative. Lots of brides have married at area churches without having the need to belong to a parish. It depends on who you talk to. The priest at our church wasn't so strict about our living situation since we're not kids, so that was a moot point.

clearheavens

The Church absolutely loves you. I'm not getting married at the church I go to. It's the church I think is really beautiful and is about 20 miles south of me! But I know I have options. You have to call around, which sucks, but I am absolutely sure there will be a church that doesn't give you the trouble you went through. I'm so sorry they put you through a frantic spin. btw, I applaud you for not living with your FI, I'm doing the same.

GulfCoaster

The Church doesn't hate you!  Just keep calling different parishes until you find one that's available.

baystateapple

I'm answering this kind of late but as someone who works for the Catholic church, I assure you, this is not normal, and it's definitely not you!  Keep looking.  You are not doing anything wrong, and you WILL find the right church.My FI and I are getting married in a church that neither of us belong to, and we've had some issues with it (they want a dispensation because the church I belong to isn't in the same diocese).  But at the same time, it's worked out.  And it will work out for you.  Best of luck.

amykay19

Thanks girls you have all made me feel alot better my priest was out of town this week but i told the secretary the situation because she is out this week and she got ahold of the priest and he said he can do the service at the other church....so i feel alot better. And yes my family is cursed lol my dad broke 7 mirrors when he was 7. my family always has had bad luck...i always thought my family was just plain cursed i just recently learned that my dad broke the mirrors....i never believed in stuff like that untill now. (my grandfather alwasy colleceted junk off the side of the street and had brought 7 mirrors home and they were leaning against a wall, well my dad was running tripped and slide into the mirrors and broke every single one of them...he was ok until his dad whipped his butt)

IrishBrideND

my dad broke 7 mirrors when he was 7. my family always has had bad luck...i always thought my family was just plain cursed i just recently learned that my dad broke the mirrors....i never believed in stuff like that untill now. (my grandfather alwasy colleceted junk off the side of the street and had brought 7 mirrors home and they were leaning against a wall, well my dad was running tripped and slide into the mirrors and broke every single one of them...he was ok until his dad whipped his butt) You really believe that?

iahlgren

Did you happen to go to a college in the area where you live? If so, they might have a chapel and a Catholic priest. Your situation does sound frustrating. I actually became a parishoner at a church that I liked and knew I wanted to have the ceremony at. My fiance is a parishoner at another church, so that became our back-up church, so to speak, in case something went wrong with the first one. I live in New York, though, where you can pretty much join any parish, even if it isn't in your neighborhood.

Theresa626

I know this is an old post but I'm going to reply anyway.  We had similar problems and it really pissed me off.  Here's how to get around it.  Have you been donating to your church on the envelope system for a minimum of six months?  If so, you can let them know that you are a practicing Catholic and ask your church to petition for you and let them know that your church is unable to have the ceremony. In addition, the church lady at your church should assist you in finding another church in the area to marry at.  Bug her to do so.  If this doesn't work, honestly, the whole you have to be a member thing is about money.  Find the right person to talk to, tell them how you've been going to church your whole life and how important it is to get married on that day and that you'd like to offer six months of donations at once in order to get married there.  it's all about the money but you have to pretend like it's not about that at all or else you'll offend them.