A few questions on how much to pay...

KatieJL121

Hey ladies!  I have a few questions about donations and tipping information that you all might be able to help me out with.  I realize that a couple of people have already asked about how much to give the priest, but my situation is a little bit different.  My church is not charging us a fee since it is my family's home parish.  However, my parish recently has a new priest who we don't really know very well, so permission was granted for us to use another priest from a different parish that my fiance and I have a more personal relationship with and have known for several years...this is also who will be doing the pre-cana with us.  I was wondering not only how much to give the priest that is officating our ceremony (who is from a different parish), but should we also donate money to my parish as well for allowing us to marry there?  Also, on average, how much do musicians usually charge or expect?  My parish allows us the option of using their musicians (for a fee I'm assuming) or bringing in someone else we know.  I just wanted to have an idea of how much to give before we started asking around.  I hope all this is clear...and thanks in advance!!    

drod58

That varies from church to church.  I'm in NJ and my church doesn't charge a fee.  The priest said a donation based on how much I am spending on the wedding.  I'm having a small reception, about 55 ppl. we are planning to give $300 to the church.  He said is not necessary to give him anything.  The singer and organist is $125 each (this is a set fee).

meltoine

We are marrying at my home parish and there is a suggested donation of $250. We are planning on giving that as well as a little extra for each of the altar servers - prob $10-15 each.

GulfCoaster

Our pastor told us not to give him or the parish anything (we were members)... We made a $100 donation to the parish and gave each of the altar servers $20.The music director/organist's normal fee was $150.  She ended up waiving that fee for us as a wedding gift, because I was in the choir and sang with her weekly.  She had all sorts of connections with different musicians -- so if, say, you wanted a cellist but didn't know any, she'd find you a cellist and introduce you.  Most of the musicians she had connections with also charged $150 or so, although some of them charged slightly less if they were still students at the music conservatory. 

Calypso1977

Our church charged, i bleieve, $125, the the priest fee was $100, and then the organist charged $230.we then gave an addtional $100 to the priest, adn $40 to each of the altar boys who served.IMO, you shouldnt be cheap with your church, especially if you are in turn having a $10K+ reception.

girllennon

As pps have said, every parish is different when it comes to their donations and regulations. For our church, they didn't suggest any donation, but we gave $1K for the graciousness of using the adjacent hall for the reception and as a thank you for helping us out as a couple over the past 6 years. We used their in-house organist and paid $200. I brought in an outside cantor for $150 and they both rehearsed the ceremony music the week of the wedding. Our priest was pretty laid back, so he had no issues with us using an outside cantor. It worked out for the best b/c I found out there was no in-house cantors available the week of the wedding.

ootmother2

Wedding was NOT at home parish and the only fee required was for the organist and soloist, $250, even if not used.  They were excellent and worked well with the trumpeter and flutist.No fee for the church and the pastor refused a gratuity. He said the nuptial mass and the uncle of the bride, a deacon, preformed the wedding ceremony.btw,Calyso, that remark about cheaping out was more than a little low.

KatieJL121

Thank you, everyone, for all of the responses!  Now I know a little more about what to expect.  I have a feeling that our church and the priest will probably tell us that money is not necessary but will kindly accept donations toward the 2 parishes.  We had already planned to give donations to both our priest and my church, regardless of whether or not they ask for anything, but we were just debating on how much is appropriate.  Now we have a better idea...so thanks for the advice!

Tuneful_Bride

Best to check with your local board on prices for musicians. In Louisville, KY, the going rate was $150/musician if you wanted decent performers. We paid a $200-250 fee to our parish. I can't remember what we gave our priest and altar server. Probably $150 and $50, respectively. We did donate regularly to our parish.

Laura&Kieran

Our parish has a *suggested donation* of $250 for the church (I have to laugh at the wording b/c its so not SUGGESTED - its pay it or you don't get married here), $150 each for the organist/vocalist.  The organist is required the vocalist is not.  We are having a friend sing.  And the alter boys get $40 each - all of which was spelled out for us.I have to check around with friends to see what, if anything, they did above the *suggested donation*.