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Catholic Weddings

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  • edited December 2011
    I think you should take the advice given to you on P&E.
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  • edited December 2011
    You were getting good advice on P&E you should go answer the questions.
    kd.joseph's wish is my command
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    Just call me "Brothel"
    And betrothed, I'm disgusted with most of the comments that you have posted. I don't think I've ever read such judgmental comments in my life. I'm so lucky that the girls I speak to on theknot are nothing like you...I would've never come on here for ADVICE if I would've encountered a big a bitch as you. I genuinely feel awful for your children or your future children, and I think it would be irresponsible of YOU not to invest in their future therapy sessions starting now. Because trust me when I tell you honey, they're gonna need it. ~jcaruncho2010
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    Betrothed 123's book recommendations, favorite quotes, book clubs, book trivia, book lists (read shelf)
  • RachNRichRachNRich member
    5000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Ya. Come back to P&E. We're uber helpful.
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  • edited December 2011
    No we can give you the same advice here if you didn't get a chance to venture back to P&E:This is a great idea but I would go to vegas to do it. In fact I would then go and make my real wedding guest list. I would then assume that everyone on it is going to come and no one has any idea we are already married. I'd then take that head count and assume they all will be giving me at least 20 dollars. I mean selfish people like us need to demand cash in our invites so they all will at least give you 20 right? Of course. I'd then take that amount out of my savings and just go all out with boose hookers and black jack. Everything will work out right. I mean it always has or you'd realize that just cause you can isn't really a good enough reason to get married in this fashion.
  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    The Catholic church will still marry you in the religous sense, not the legal one. But lying to your family and friends is never a good idea.  Someone ALWAYS finds out.  It could be someone in HR or your nosey relative or neighbor who actually reads the marriage licenses in the newspaper. Being upfront it always the better way to go.  






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • harbor_girlharbor_girl member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    cupcake don't you get it? you are going to get the SAME ADVICE ON ALL OF THESE BOARDS. lying about being married = FAIL. lying to your friends and family = don't be surprised if their opinion of you changes when they inevitably find out. you are having a vow renewal. congratulations.
  • Calypso1977Calypso1977 member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 25 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    you would be given a convalidation from the catholic church.  and the priest will ask why you didnt get married in teh church the first time.  you'll need a good reason other than "i want my health insurance".  they generally frown on two weddings.your FI will be considered "living in sin" as far as the church goes.  i do not recommend this.  if you need to get married now due to pregnancy, insurance issues, etc., then so be it, but talk to your priest, do it quietly now if its that pressing, then have a party later (or, have a party now).
  • ExpatPumpkinExpatPumpkin member
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Yes, the Catholic church will marry you. But they'll expect that you NOT LIVE TOGETHER until the actual sacrament of marriage. Is that a problem for your plans?
  • 22cupcake22cupcake member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    i'm heading to P&E next. can't wait!   I stated that I would be talking to the church before there would be a courthouse wedding.  I don't like lying or keeping secrets.    Thanks for your opinions.
  • Calypso1977Calypso1977 member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 25 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    i can guarantee you that the priest will not advocate for you marrying civilly now, then getting a convalidation later.  the church is also not obligated to give convalidations.
  • 22cupcake22cupcake member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    we already live together, and no i'm not pregnant.    and yes i realize the wording was not the greatest, i do understand a second ceremony would be a vow renewal.  and i posted here as well as P&E because this is definitely catholics here so ya'll would have a better understanding of the chuch ceremony issue.  
  • mbcdefgmbcdefg member
    10000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    A second ceremony in the church would not be a vow renewal. If you are even granted one (which depends on your circumstances), it would be a "comvalidation ceremony," which validates your marriage in the eyes of the Church. Even if you have a legal courthouse marriage with the state, the Church will not recognize your union if it was not performed in a church. And they don't just hand out convalidation ceremonies. Usually these are granted to people who had a secular ceremony, then decided later in life that they wanted to get into (or back into) the Catholic faith and want their marriage recognized by the church. "We married early so we could have better health insurance" is probably not going to fly. I would talk to your priest, as you said you're planning to do, and ask what your options are. Whatever you do, do NOT lie to your friends and family. I also would not keep it a secret from them. Sometimes it's understandable that a couple would want to marry earlier than planned, but I think most people would be really cheesed off if you lied about your courthouse marriage or even kept it a secret. And, FYI, if you go to the courthouse then THAT is your "real wedding." A "real wedding" is when you exchange vows, not a fancy party or a big church ceremony. That's incredibly insulting to everyone out there who's had a courthouse ceremony. My in-laws were married in a courthouse, so why don't you consider their wedding to be a "real wedding"?
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  • tafayetafaye member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    If it is important to you to be married in the church then 1st you need to consult your parishes head of the marriage ministries.  They will tell you what you need to do.  Many people have a civil marriage first but it is easier if you ask the church first.Also, depending on your parish they will marry you if you live together, as long as you understand that you are living in sin according to churches eyes.Every case is different.  But if you talk to them first they will put you on the right path.  I have several friends that got married for legal reasons, didn't tell anyone and then had the wedding they wanted just like they had not been,  the only people you will have to tell if your priest.  As for work, it is illegal for people to tell your legal status, just don't change your name yet ;)
  • edited December 2011
    secretly marrying is the stupidest thing i have ever heard of.  MUD, go away.
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